Stupid is as Stupid does

"I have a gub"

A guy I know of, with several undisguisable physical characteristics, life long resident of a town of about 700, robbed the local bank, staffed mainly with life long residents of the same town, and went home, 2 blocks from the bank, to count his loot. He was very surprised when the Sheriff came calling. Luckily he never reproduced.

'Smarts' is not necessarily in a criminals job description.

as a prank, my friend once decided to mail me a box filled with dog poop. he put a return address on there so i just sealed it back up and wrote return to sender.

Idiot.

He'll be on truTV in "recreation" footage.

I dont think that is the first time a bank robber has done that. C.S.S.

Still good for a chuckle.

He'll be on The Smoking Gun Presents, Worlds Dummest Criminals. That will get some good comments.

He must be a member of MENSA.
Is there some new federal "be a wuss" regulation regarding banks and robberies these days? It seems like there are an awful lot of them getting robbed with handwritten notes, often with no weapon found on the person. Maybe they should just have a checkbox on withdrawl slips for "Check here if you wish to withdraw money that doesn't belong to you to expedite the process"
Or:
Bank robber note: "I have a gun"
Teller note: "So do I, and so do half of the customers behind you. Your move"

Maybe he stole the cheque book.... never mind....

Is there some new federal "be a wuss" regulation regarding banks and robberies these days? It seems like there are an awful lot of them getting robbed with handwritten notes, often with no weapon found on the person.

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Maybe the banks were posted with the dreaded "no guns" signs.

No...
Really...

It could happen...

"I have a gub"

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That's exactly what I thought of.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyQO6Q5hmsE

Still a good scene but it was funnier back in '69 for some reason.

When I lived in Illinois

I remember 4 memorable robberies
1. Downtown Chicago the man robbed the bank, went out and got on his bicycle and rode merrily away the wrong way on a one way street, the squad cars couldn't chase him because of heavy traffic, he got away.
2. Prospect Heights the man claimed to have a gun, they gave him 5,000 in cash, he walked across the street into the condo area and was never seen again, he too got away.
3. Downtown Chicago the man wrote his note on the back of his deposit slip and left it behind when he got the money. The police were waiting for him when he got home.
4. Downtown Chicago another man using his deposit slip as his note. The teller asked him for his ID and he gave it to her no questions asked. She gave him his money but not the ID and he ran out, hopped into what he thought was a Taxi and gave his address. It was an unmarked squad car.

All these happened in the late 70's to mid 80's, its disheartening to see that they haven't gotten any smarter. If I am going to be robbed I would rather it be by a master mind who outsmarted me, not some moron.

When the smart guys rob a bank they don't set foot inside though.

I'm waiting to hear about the hold up note that ends with:

PS: No dye packets this time. Thx.

If I am going to be robbed I would rather it be by a master mind who outsmarted me, not some moron.

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Old Grump, I am pleased to inform you that you have won the Nigerian national lottery. Now, for a few details about the delivery...

Just recently, wasn't there a report of a bank robbery up in Seattle. This one bank was robbed so often that the shopkeeper across the street noticed that they had changed the color of the dye packets from pink to blue.

The new police super in Chicago has decided not to investigate bank robberies anymore. The CPD will just secure the scene and wait for the feds to show up. A good thing I think.

There was a time in the late 70s or early 80s where it seemed like there was a bank robbery about once a week in Chicago.

1. Downtown Chicago the man robbed the bank, went out and got on his bicycle and rode merrily away the wrong way on a one way street, the squad cars couldn't chase him because of heavy traffic, he got away.
2. Prospect Heights the man claimed to have a gun, they gave him 5,000 in cash, he walked across the street into the condo area and was never seen again, he too got away.
3. Downtown Chicago the man wrote his note on the back of his deposit slip and left it behind when he got the money. The police were waiting for him when he got home.
4. Downtown Chicago another man using his deposit slip as his note. The teller asked him for his ID and he gave it to her no questions asked. She gave him his money but not the ID and he ran out, hopped into what he thought was a Taxi and gave his address. It was an unmarked squad car

Click to expand...

There was a time in the late 70s or early 80s where it seemed like there was a bank robbery about once a week in Chicago

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Reading the news, it seems to be getting back to that rate in Chicago. Several of them have been in the big downtown banks. But the BG still only does a note stickup, not a 'Heat' style robbery. I guess that is good, but less fun to read about in the paper.

A guy I know of, with several undisguisable physical characteristics, life long resident of a town of about 700, robbed the local bank, staffed mainly with life long residents of the same town, and went home, 2 blocks from the bank, to count his loot. He was very surprised when the Sheriff came calling. Luckily he never reproduced.

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Maybe he did this to get three squares, a cot, and free medical.

Pilgrim

Where's the proof

(There's one in every crowd)

Okay, so where's the proof that the checks were really his?

I pass lots of stolen and phony checks, and nobody has ever caught onto my identity yet. Maybe I'm too smart for'em?

[DUCKS!]

[BruceRDucer, winner of the 2006 IDJIT AWARD]

Some people are truly beyond stupid, this is one of them.

1. Downtown Chicago the man robbed the bank, went out and got on his bicycle and rode merrily away the wrong way on a one way street, the squad cars couldn't chase him because of heavy traffic, he got away.

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I shouldn't smile...but I am...would be great in a movie...

Red faced

That particular robbery happened about the time the city building inspectors were being hauled into court by the handful for taking bribes. The place I worked at hadn't had an inspection in nearly 30 years, the inspector would go straight to the plant managers office, they would have coffee and chat about things then he would go away. When he was nabbed in the bribery scandal we got an old codger in a few months later and shocked the hell out of everybody with the list of violations. I loved it.

After the bicycle robber the chief was a little incoherent and very red faced at the press conference. When somebody suggested he put some officers on bicycles to patrol down town like they did the parks he almost had a heart attack because everybody laughed. Lots of big officers in Chicago in the 70's that would have had a very hard time making a bicycle work. Fat tires and a push would have been required. Bank robbers would have had little problem escaping most of the patrolmen I was familiar with. On the other hand I knew a couple who could have run them down on foot but they were the minority.

The bank in Prospect Heights was where I did my banking and I lived maybe a mile and a half from it. I had almost bought a condo in that complex that guy got away in, he could have been a neighbor if I had bought there.

I remember a similar incident in San Francisco back in the late 80' early 90's. It was back when the junk bond scandals where all the rage and the stock market was having a lot of problems with day traders. A couple of bank robbers used mountain bikes to get away with their loot. I remember SFPD had a good description of the bikes but not much on the robbers. They had a BELO for two blue mountain bikes. They even plastered the local news shows with similar looking bikes to try and generate some leads from the public. I don't think they ever solved that one.

R,
Bullseye