Is this going to be a carry piece? Or just a "first handgun" to bring you about to handguns for home and personal (concealed-carry) defense use?
The snub revolvers, particularly the "lightweight" ones, like the Ruger LCR, can be unpleasant to shoot, but there are many that reduce that with nicer grips and all-steel construction. The latest offerings from Charter Arms (Undercover .38) are among them. I have two of them from days gone by; one from 1987, and the other more than 20 years older than that. They have the smaller, wooden grips common on snubnose revolvers of those days, and aren't a lot of fun on the range. But, the newer, rubber-gripped offerings from them and Taurus/Rossi, and Smith and Wesson, fill the hand better, for greater control. Loaded with a lighter-recoiling .38 Special round, they can be perfectly manageable. Another caliber option for the snub revolver category is .327 Federal Magnum. These can fire any of the .32 caliber family, such as .32 H&R Magnum, S&W Long, and even the .32ACP.
I like the SP-101, and, hey, it's even available in .22LR now (as is the LCR!)
In semi-automatics, someone already mentioned the Bersa Thuncer CC, a slimmer version of their popular Thunder .380. I have the latter, and it has very minimal recoil. It's a solid and affordable performer, and I'd bet the CC version is equally reliable. In that same caliber, Beretta and Taurus also have entries that have thicker grips and hold more rounds; these are the Model 85 and PT-58, respectively. Both, like the Bersa, are all-metal construction, which helps to tame perceived recoil as well.