I own several .45's, several 9mm's, and a few .40's just because I like to collect guns. I have carry guns in each of these calibers, and carry which ever depending on how I'm dressed. No matter what I'm carrying I don't leave the house feeling under gunned. With enough practice I'm proficient with all my carry guns. Anything 9mm or up is going to do it's job if you do yours and hit what you're a aiming at. Loaded with modern SD ammo you should be good to go. I find these caliber wars to be silly. That is unless you want to carry a .22 for SD. I want something big enough to end the threat right there. Not two or three hours later in an emergency room.
To the OP. Buy the best gun you can afford in a decent sized caliber, practice, feel confident your weapon can do it's job, and happy shooting.