Men and women of the Revolver forum, I come before you today with a request.
Could we please, pretty pretty please, for the love of John Moses Browning and all that is holy and good in the universe, please, not bring up the stupid S&W lock in every single thread in the revolver forum?
Yes, yes, we know that the lock is evil, and was personally designed by Satan and his minions. We know that there are thousands of documented cases where an anonymous person on teh intraweb was killed by ninjas when his lock equipped S&W actually caused the gun to explode into a giant Jerry Bruckheimer style slow-motion fireball.
And if you really really really feel the need to post, just to say something like:
Please stop, back away from your keyboard, and think. Is it worth it? Because we already know you won't buy a S&W, because the locking mechanism burned your village, and raped your horses to death. And then I want you to ponder, since the thread was titled, something like "what kind of holster for my 625" or "640 vs. 686" or "Mateba vs. Roth-Steyr" or "can I shoot 40 S&W in my 610 that I already own and love" do you really need to share your hatred for the lock?
By my calculation, there are, let's see, three main brands of revolvers. Figure that 63% of the threads in revolvers are about two of those brands, and they both have locks. So 90% of the threads here will have at least five posts where somebody has said that they won't buy a gun with a lock. And then the other 10% of the threads have at least one post where somebody felt the need to say that they hate the lock, so let me do the math (and I do math for a living) that comes out to 10,875,925 posts about how you won't buy a gun with a lock.
This is especially irksome, when the thread originator is asking a question and puts in that first post, the note:
and the next post is about how someone would never buy a gun with a lock, because everytime you do, God kills a kitten. Then there are seven posts where somebody felt the need to say "+ 1".
And on that note, be aware that clinical studies have shown that viewing +1 repeatedly on internet forums causes eye cancer and sterility in lab rats.
I'm not really a revolver person. I only own two revolvers. One has a lock. One does not. I'm suspicious of the gun with the lock, and I believe that it stole one of my credit cards, and racked up huge charges watching Pay Per View pornography and calling 1-900 numbers based out of Thailand. The one with out the lock mows my lawn, does the dishes, and fetches my slippers when I return home from a hard day at work.
But when I start to open threads in General Discussion and I see:
And when I can't enjoy a good old fashioned "what gun for zombies" thread in GD, I start to get really cranky. If you revolver guys can't keep it contained in here, then it becomes my problem.
For example, this is from an actual post in Legal & Political just last week:
Now that don't even make any sense!
So I'm asking you guys, please, please, quit telling us in every single thread about how much you hate the lock. We already know that you would never buy one.
Please, just let it go. If there is a real reason to stick the fact that you despise the lock, then go for it. I don't know, like if the thread is called "do you like the lock on S&W revolvers" that would probably be a great time to refresh our memory that you despise them with a passion so great and infinite that it reverberates throughout time and eternity.
But the rest of the time, we really just don't care...
Could we please, pretty pretty please, for the love of John Moses Browning and all that is holy and good in the universe, please, not bring up the stupid S&W lock in every single thread in the revolver forum?
Yes, yes, we know that the lock is evil, and was personally designed by Satan and his minions. We know that there are thousands of documented cases where an anonymous person on teh intraweb was killed by ninjas when his lock equipped S&W actually caused the gun to explode into a giant Jerry Bruckheimer style slow-motion fireball.
And if you really really really feel the need to post, just to say something like:
Please stop, back away from your keyboard, and think. Is it worth it? Because we already know you won't buy a S&W, because the locking mechanism burned your village, and raped your horses to death. And then I want you to ponder, since the thread was titled, something like "what kind of holster for my 625" or "640 vs. 686" or "Mateba vs. Roth-Steyr" or "can I shoot 40 S&W in my 610 that I already own and love" do you really need to share your hatred for the lock?
By my calculation, there are, let's see, three main brands of revolvers. Figure that 63% of the threads in revolvers are about two of those brands, and they both have locks. So 90% of the threads here will have at least five posts where somebody has said that they won't buy a gun with a lock. And then the other 10% of the threads have at least one post where somebody felt the need to say that they hate the lock, so let me do the math (and I do math for a living) that comes out to 10,875,925 posts about how you won't buy a gun with a lock.
This is especially irksome, when the thread originator is asking a question and puts in that first post, the note:
and the next post is about how someone would never buy a gun with a lock, because everytime you do, God kills a kitten. Then there are seven posts where somebody felt the need to say "+ 1".
And on that note, be aware that clinical studies have shown that viewing +1 repeatedly on internet forums causes eye cancer and sterility in lab rats.
I'm not really a revolver person. I only own two revolvers. One has a lock. One does not. I'm suspicious of the gun with the lock, and I believe that it stole one of my credit cards, and racked up huge charges watching Pay Per View pornography and calling 1-900 numbers based out of Thailand. The one with out the lock mows my lawn, does the dishes, and fetches my slippers when I return home from a hard day at work.
But when I start to open threads in General Discussion and I see:
And when I can't enjoy a good old fashioned "what gun for zombies" thread in GD, I start to get really cranky. If you revolver guys can't keep it contained in here, then it becomes my problem.
For example, this is from an actual post in Legal & Political just last week:
Now that don't even make any sense!
So I'm asking you guys, please, please, quit telling us in every single thread about how much you hate the lock. We already know that you would never buy one.
Please, just let it go. If there is a real reason to stick the fact that you despise the lock, then go for it. I don't know, like if the thread is called "do you like the lock on S&W revolvers" that would probably be a great time to refresh our memory that you despise them with a passion so great and infinite that it reverberates throughout time and eternity.
But the rest of the time, we really just don't care...
