All time best shooter related quotes?

[Rifleman 173]

Me to an armed suspect, "Drop the gun or the next sound you hear will be VERY loud and painful."

Unknown cop, "Move and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

Unknown cop, "Give me a reason and I'll revoke your breathing privileges."

Upon finding two burglars hiding in the cooler of a tavern that had been burglarized, a cop was heard to say, as he shined his light on the faces of the burglars, "Come on out of there. You two dirtbags don't want to die in there..."

As a detective looked down at a serial rapist who had been killed by one of his intended victims, the detective was heard to say, "So. Johnnie April finally had a bad day. Couldn't have come soon enough for me."

Two Illinois State Troopers stopped a biker who was wanted on a number of felony warrants. A shootout started between the biker and the two troopers. Neither trooper was hit but the biker collapsed to the ground. The biker was taken to a nearby trauma center. When the captain of the two troopers got to the hospital he was told that the biker was dead. When the captain talked to the doctor in charge he asked, "Which bullet fired by my troopers killed the suspect?" The doctor looked at the captain with a puzzled look and said, "None of your troopers' bullets went into the biker. The biker died of a heart attack." The investigation showed that the bullets used by the troopers in that shootout had not penetrated through the heavy leather coat that the biker was wearing. The Illinois State Police immediately changed their ammo that day.

 

[nitetrane98]

I don't know if this is true but was told to me about a Texas Ranger in our area.
Back in the "fleeing felon" days a Ranger had shot and killed an escapee. Upon cross examination he explained that he had shot the guy 3 times because, "Some idiot had used the shotgun and failed to completely reload it."
Doesn't sound quite right as Rangers usually didn't partner up and definitely didn't share a car and the accompanying shotgun. Texas Rangers got away with all sorts of stuff in the good old days. But, alas, facts sometimes wreck an otherwise good story.

 

[googol]

I once read a newspaper story about an old time lawman who was asked if he had ever violated a criminal's rights. He answered, "No. I shot a few of them, but I never violated their rights."

 

[porterdog]

Can't believe I get to post this one, my all time fave:

"If guns cause crime, all of mine are defective."

-Ted Nugent, the MotorCity Madman

 

[Ky Larry]

The AK-47. When you absolutely, positively have to kill every MotherF##### in the room, accept no substitutes.

 

[alvincullumyork]

I once asked a man why he carried a 45. He said, "Son the same reason I put a 427 in my Mustang. Theirs no replacement for displacement."

 

[BruceB]

World and Olympic pistol champion Joe Benner, when asked by a reporter if he ever had trouble with flinching:

"I'm too lazy to flinch."

Priceless.

 

[Just One Shot]

What to say to the 911 dispatcher after unloading on a bad guy that broke into your house and threatened you with bodily harm.

You:
I'd like to report a dead body in my house.

Dispatcher:
What was the cause of death?

You:
He died of lead poisoning.

Dispatcher:
Lead poisoning?

You:
Yea, he ran in front of my gun as I was discharging it!




(To all you serious Susan's who want to respond with words of wisdom, it was a JOKE!)

 

[John-Melb]

Read this somewhere a long time ago.

"This gun is an absolute shocker, the testers were unable to get away three shots before jamming, no matter what was tried, however, the magazine lips are sharp enough to use as a knife for last ditch efforts!

 

[jorb]

Thanks for sharing the grins.

 

[Doc_Jude]

From the desk of Gabe Suarez:

I have a colleague is South America who has been in High Risk Police Service for close to three decades. He has been in over three dozen verified gunfight . His weapon was originally a Browning Hi-Power and later a Glock 17.
I was very interested in hearing more so I asked him about the load he used. He said he had always used military ball full metal jacket. Astounded I asked him why he chose that. That is all we can get here. Hollow points are illegal.
I shook my head and told him that there was a belief in the USA that 9mm was an anemic caliber, especially in the load he d chosen. He shrugged and said that his adversaries must not have gotten the word.

here's another:

Some instructors are also very caliber-focused, thinking that anyone who does not bring a 45 to class is unarmed. One student of mine who carries a 9mm was recently told that his 9mm was simply a 45 set on “stun”.
(The commenter however, declined an offer to be "stunned")

For the record, I prefer my .45's & .357s ***& .38 +p***. However, you get double tapped center mass with anything equal to or greater than 9mm, you'll know it... OR NOT

 

[chipp]

Clint in the unforgiven

You coward, you just shot an unarmed man.

Clint...He should have armed himself if he was gonna decorate his saloon with my dead friend.

 

[Caeser2001]

7.62x39, turning cover into concealment since 1947.

 

[Caeser2001]

"Make (your attacker) advance through a wall of bullets. I may get killed with my own gun, but hes gonna have to beat me to death with it, 'cause it's going to be empty."
Clint Smith, Thunder Ranch

love it

Training Seargents, Ft. Polk, LA, 1968:

"Alright, mens. This is a 50 caliber machinegun and its use is directed against
equipment. Belt buckles are equipment."

still used to today

 

[Graymutt]

A long while ago, I was told about Gun control.

Drill Sergeant Pasargek to a very young me, "Gun Control GodD*** it, 6 to 9 round burst". I was suprise to later learn that Gun control was thought of as something else.

 

[model of 1905]

"There is nothing wrong with a shooting, as long as the right people get shot."

 

[Jorg Nysgerrig]

Training Seargents, Ft. Polk, LA, 1968:

"Alright, mens. This is a 50 caliber machinegun and its use is directed against
equipment. Belt buckles are equipment."

still used to today

And still just as much of a silly myth as ever.

 

[crazy-mp]

Front sight, center mass

Stephen Hunter, I think Dirty White Boys, dont quote me though

Stop moving around your a harder target to hit!!

Red Vs Blue, internet cartoon

We have 12 of these shotgun shells, 26 of these wussy 9-mils, and 16 of those sweet .357 magnums

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

I feel like I am going to break this D**n thing!

Will Smith - Men in Black
Also how I felt first time I fired my Kel-Tec P-3AT aslo known as a first generation Ruger LCP

 

[bensdad]

These have been fun. Got one of my own.

A friend was having a bad day at the range. He asked me to try his rifle (cuz it MUST be the gun, right?). I shot a tight little group and said, "Well, the good news is your rifle is fine."

 

[michiganfan]

I know I read it one this site it goes " Some people are alive only because it is against the law to kill em.'

 

[alohachris]

This phrase is one of my favorites, I think I read it in one of M. Ayoobs articles.

"Anyone who attacks me is going to suffer a catastrophic failure of their victim selection process."

Wordy, but I like.

 

[Archie]

You can achieve more with a smile and a gun than you can with just a smile.

Attributed to Alphonse Capone, among others.

 

[akodo]

I belive I read this one right here on THR. The details and caliber may not be exactly right, but oh well.

I shot a 577 Nitro Espress once. I didn't drop the gun, but my soul has been a little bit bent ever since.

 

[ConstitutionCowboy]

Malcom Reynolds in the "Firefly" series:

"I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm armed."

 

[lance daugherty]

One of my favorites from a movie, actor tells the gun dealer.... I need I gun that shoots alot of bullets. Gun dealer says, God bless you....