I think that this has been posted before, but wasn't able to find it's previous incarnations.
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from here
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
ARMED AND DANGEROUS
Let me say right up front that I don’t like terrorists. As a youth I was classic bully fodder (fat, slow, nerdy, uncool) so I know terrorism firsthand. And so, when in the wake of 911 the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) was formed, I figured it for a good thing. As a frequent traveler of the skies, I welcomed tighter airport screenings with open arms. But I have now come to fear people wearing TSA badges almost as much as the bullies who used to torture me in grade school. Why? Because they can do anything their small, mean minds want to and there’s nothing you or I can do about it.
Case in point: I flew to Allentown PA yesterday, to perform at a food and wine festival. Nice place Allentown, not at all like the Billy Joel song and in the 18 hours I was there I enjoyed myself just fine. Then came the airport. Now whenever I do egg related demonstrations I generally carry my own pan, in this case a ten-inch Caphelon skillet. Since I was just overnighting, I’d put the pan in my carryon as I have for perhaps a hundred similar jaunts. Today however, the TSA bully decided that my pan was a weapon and would not be allowed on the plane. I asked if he could show me something stating that skillets, along with guns, road flares, chain saws and cutting instruments, could be construed as a threat and therefore sizeable. The goon simply stared at me and said he wasn’t going to let me take it. I mentioned that I was a culinary professional and that I had walked this exact pan through 20 other airports from LAX to Dallas to Miami. And then I saw it; the same mean little squint I’d seen in those bullies when I was a kid. This guy could do whatever he wanted for whatever reason he wanted. I surrendered the pan and can only hope that one day his wife will liberate herself from his tyranny by introducing it to his head at high velocity.
I’m not saying that a plane couldn’t be hijacked with a frying pan...I’m sure in the hands of a trained ninja, it could deal out as much death as an AK-47. I’m just saying that people with authority should have to play by a set of rules...published rules. If as a nation we’re going to have to tolerate being probed, scanned, profiled and frisked before we can get on an airplane, so be it. But it seems to me that we deserve a little consistency. Otherwise we open ourselves up to a whole new brand of bully...bullies with badges...not to mention really nice omelet pans.
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Omelet pan update.
Apparently my rant of June 10 generated some serious heat out in the ether. Some, or perhaps many of you got in touch with the Allentown airport security folks that took my potentially deadly omelet pan into protective custody back in June. Some or perhaps many of you voiced your opinions on the matter and many of those opinions were delivered in harsh and/or negative tones. As a result, thems that’s got my pan made contact with my organization and promised the pan’s immediate release.
We were overjoyed...elated. I had a banner made saying "Welcome Home Pan". The media were contacted.
That was a month ago.
Still no pan.
Mean trick guys.
I should have known...you can’t negotiate with terrorists.
Monday, July 21, 2003
Guess what just came via FedEx...that’s right kids, man and pan have been reunited (sniff). My thanks to all of you who made a stink on my behalf and to Mary Ellen Koval of the City of Allentown who actually wrested the pan from thems that had it.
This particular battle may be over, but think of all the innocent air travelers out there who don’t have an army of fans to rise up and make a stink every time something is unjustly taken from them in the name of the law. I say make your stink really count by depositing it on the doorstep of your elected representatives.
After all, it's your country.
____________________________
KC
___________________________
from here
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
ARMED AND DANGEROUS
Let me say right up front that I don’t like terrorists. As a youth I was classic bully fodder (fat, slow, nerdy, uncool) so I know terrorism firsthand. And so, when in the wake of 911 the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) was formed, I figured it for a good thing. As a frequent traveler of the skies, I welcomed tighter airport screenings with open arms. But I have now come to fear people wearing TSA badges almost as much as the bullies who used to torture me in grade school. Why? Because they can do anything their small, mean minds want to and there’s nothing you or I can do about it.
Case in point: I flew to Allentown PA yesterday, to perform at a food and wine festival. Nice place Allentown, not at all like the Billy Joel song and in the 18 hours I was there I enjoyed myself just fine. Then came the airport. Now whenever I do egg related demonstrations I generally carry my own pan, in this case a ten-inch Caphelon skillet. Since I was just overnighting, I’d put the pan in my carryon as I have for perhaps a hundred similar jaunts. Today however, the TSA bully decided that my pan was a weapon and would not be allowed on the plane. I asked if he could show me something stating that skillets, along with guns, road flares, chain saws and cutting instruments, could be construed as a threat and therefore sizeable. The goon simply stared at me and said he wasn’t going to let me take it. I mentioned that I was a culinary professional and that I had walked this exact pan through 20 other airports from LAX to Dallas to Miami. And then I saw it; the same mean little squint I’d seen in those bullies when I was a kid. This guy could do whatever he wanted for whatever reason he wanted. I surrendered the pan and can only hope that one day his wife will liberate herself from his tyranny by introducing it to his head at high velocity.
I’m not saying that a plane couldn’t be hijacked with a frying pan...I’m sure in the hands of a trained ninja, it could deal out as much death as an AK-47. I’m just saying that people with authority should have to play by a set of rules...published rules. If as a nation we’re going to have to tolerate being probed, scanned, profiled and frisked before we can get on an airplane, so be it. But it seems to me that we deserve a little consistency. Otherwise we open ourselves up to a whole new brand of bully...bullies with badges...not to mention really nice omelet pans.
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Omelet pan update.
Apparently my rant of June 10 generated some serious heat out in the ether. Some, or perhaps many of you got in touch with the Allentown airport security folks that took my potentially deadly omelet pan into protective custody back in June. Some or perhaps many of you voiced your opinions on the matter and many of those opinions were delivered in harsh and/or negative tones. As a result, thems that’s got my pan made contact with my organization and promised the pan’s immediate release.
We were overjoyed...elated. I had a banner made saying "Welcome Home Pan". The media were contacted.
That was a month ago.
Still no pan.
Mean trick guys.
I should have known...you can’t negotiate with terrorists.
Monday, July 21, 2003
Guess what just came via FedEx...that’s right kids, man and pan have been reunited (sniff). My thanks to all of you who made a stink on my behalf and to Mary Ellen Koval of the City of Allentown who actually wrested the pan from thems that had it.
This particular battle may be over, but think of all the innocent air travelers out there who don’t have an army of fans to rise up and make a stink every time something is unjustly taken from them in the name of the law. I say make your stink really count by depositing it on the doorstep of your elected representatives.
After all, it's your country.
____________________________
KC
