Carrying on a date, or having a drink...
- Thread starter ShooterMcGavin
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I don't drink so it's hard to say if my opinion would be of any use to you. I say, be the man, plan your date, know what you're going to do, and steer clear of areas that prohibit carrying your firearm.
If you must go to a bar, drink cranberry juice. It's delicious and healthy.
If you must go to a bar, drink cranberry juice. It's delicious and healthy.
ShooterMcGavin
Member
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2007
- Messages
- 629
I am new around here, so I really don't know other events to suggest. If I were to counter offer something besides a bar, it would take me a few minutes to come up with something. That would be kinda "weird".
It won't go off by itself. However, I don't like to lock up a loaded gun. As soon as I pop the trunk, from inside the car, there would be a loaded gun outside of my control.
Well, I have so many things that scare girls off already... I guess I mean to say that girls look for reasons not to date me. No, I am not nerdy with girls. An 8 year age difference was a huge deal for one girl who was REALLY into me after 2 dates. One of the last girls was turned off because I did NOT try to get her into bed on the first date!!!! She told me that!
I think you have some valid points here. I gave my last pepper spray to a girl, so I have to order some more.
Nope, not legal to carry in a bar here. I have no problem going to a bar and not drinking.
Instead of alter the way I carry, I think I will just give up on girls. The reason is not that I am SO into guns, just that I am tired of girls. I guess the question about a date was just a hypothetical. I am really do not see myself dating a girl.
Hasn't happened to me yet, but I'd be up front about why I had to go back to the trunk. My experience has been that women usually ask you to their "home" bar, so that she can see how you hold up under interrogation in a hostile environment....Whoops, I mean "meet her friends".
Honestly, by the time I get around to asking a woman on a date, I've known her for at least 6 months, so by then I KNOW what she thinks about most things.
Honestly, by the time I get around to asking a woman on a date, I've known her for at least 6 months, so by then I KNOW what she thinks about most things.
Mandirigma
Member
Welcome to the new day and age of dating. Everything has gone to high speed low drag. If you aren't trying to sleep with a girl on the first date, you aren't interested or interesting enough to keep. Hell even the term "date" isn't used much anymore. Its "hooking up".
I spent a lot of time being raised by my mom, aunt, and grandma (dad was active duty, and was always TAD or TDY) I learned the old fashioned, or old school way. Showing up on time, bringing flowers, opening doors, standing when she comes to or leaves the table. You know the basics. I found out after about a year of landing in the States that I had to change it up.
I had to learn to be a little more aggressive. Heavier flirting, making sure to touch (hands, arms, shoulders, hip, small of back). Be more in her personal space. (not be all over her, just get closer, a bit more intimate.) All the while being aware of signs that she doesn't want you in this space. No means No. Yes its a fine balancing act.
Yeah I know that this may not be you. (admitedly, its not me either, I prefer to get to know a girl before I even think about getting intimate) But its about making her think and feel that you are interested in her.
I said a little, god help me if I ever am "too" aggressive and my mom hears about it. I wouldn't need any of my guns, my hands would be broken.
But, this may be your problem. Don't date girls, date women. I found that the problems you are encountering are mainly with the young ones 18-22 (Oh, I'm 28 btw) They are used to guys (nowadays) being hyper aggressive. I watch guys bring girls into bars and basically ignore them while the game or fight was on and then fighting thier groping hands after it was over.
Dress well, smell good, and act smooth. Be confident.
As to carrying on a date, yes I do. When I have to go somewhere I can't carry it, I just take it (and the spare mags) out in plain view and lock it in the glove box. Usually its just a non-issue. Worse I've been asked. "Why do you carry that?" My answer has always been "Because other people do."
If this is a major issue for you, why not have your first date be at a gun range? Can't hurt to ask.
.BenjaminR said:
Be careful, lots of bars carry "Cranberry Cocktail" as well as Orange, and Pineapple Cocktail. Basically its only 10-15% juice and a whole bunch of sugar.
miconoakisland
Member
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2006
- Messages
- 66
Dates
When on a date, I don't drink at all. I have to be "in for the night" before I drink anything.
I don't flaunt being armed, nor do I hide it. I carried concealed, and if I need to dis-arm due to going into a restaurant that serves alcohol (NC
), I non-chalantly arm/dis-arm.
My experience has been that she, if she even realizes what is happening, will immediately freak-out or treat it as nonchalantly as I did and bring the subject up later and be ok with it.
If she freaks out (happened only once), I'll re-arm and drive her home right then and there, enduring fits of pyscho-babble and silence along the way. I explained that it's like her hating my dog.
The female I am with is my responsibility, she will not be vulnerable to an impaired driver, nor an unarmed escort. I never want to explain to her parents that "I only had a few drinks" if anything happens, even if it's not my fault. Nor do I want to explain their daughter's traumatic experience due to violence upon her with me present and helpless.
I am the true "Southern Gentleman" in almost every respect and go out on more dates with ex-girlfriends than with new ones, even go out with two old girlfriends at the same time.
When on a date, I don't drink at all. I have to be "in for the night" before I drink anything.
I don't flaunt being armed, nor do I hide it. I carried concealed, and if I need to dis-arm due to going into a restaurant that serves alcohol (NC
), I non-chalantly arm/dis-arm.My experience has been that she, if she even realizes what is happening, will immediately freak-out or treat it as nonchalantly as I did and bring the subject up later and be ok with it.
If she freaks out (happened only once), I'll re-arm and drive her home right then and there, enduring fits of pyscho-babble and silence along the way. I explained that it's like her hating my dog.
The female I am with is my responsibility, she will not be vulnerable to an impaired driver, nor an unarmed escort. I never want to explain to her parents that "I only had a few drinks" if anything happens, even if it's not my fault. Nor do I want to explain their daughter's traumatic experience due to violence upon her with me present and helpless.
I am the true "Southern Gentleman" in almost every respect and go out on more dates with ex-girlfriends than with new ones, even go out with two old girlfriends at the same time.
Pick up a newspaper or a tourist guide for your "new area" and see what's going on. You should be able to find 3 or 4 things that would be fun to do.
Open the trunk with the key. If I was disarmed, I'd be happy to pop the trunk and know I had a loaded gun ready to go if I needed it.
busy_squirrel
Member
Where do you live? I like to think I'm kinda familiar with Whatcom, Skagit, Snohomish, King, Pierce, Thurston, Island and Clark counties. Maybe I can give you some suggestions...
Yeah, this site has got to be the last place you want to ask for dating advice. I wouldn't even ask for any social issues, really, due to the generational gap. Unless you're an older, conservative male, what works for these guys won't work for you.
Hooking up is sex or making out or the like. Dating is still dating, or going out. And yeah, basically there are almost no young women in the modern world who have any interest in old fashioned guys. They are seen as boring and predictable, in a time when they, like most other young people, are looking for the new and exciting. But this is my generation, and I find it very liberating. You meet a lot of girls, very quickly. We can be open with what we want, and blunt. No more games. I don't ask her parents what they think about the two of us dating, nor do I care in the slightest what they think. And her safety is her responsiblity, not mine. She's a grown woman. She's not a kid who needs a guardian to hold her hand at all times, and I don't expect to be there at all times. I may or may not hold doors for her and may or may not pay for dates, depending on who asked for the date. You'll find that most girls resent that actually, being patronized and treated like they're invalid. They want to have fun, as do I, like an adult who can make their own choices. Maybe do things that are out of the ordinary, things that are generally frowned on by the old fashioned/conservative crowd. And if old fashioned guys don't like it, then they can lament on the internet about how girls don't like them while guys like me take the girls from old fashioned guys, all day, any day. While you're holding that door for her and formally referring to her as Ms. or Ma'am or some uptight thing like that, guys like me will crack her a joke and just slip our arm around her waist to walk away with her, leaving you standing there holding the door.
Zach S
Member
1) I was actually pretty open about it when I was on the market. Needless to say, I had a lot of first dates.
2) I bought a six pack of Coronas on thankgiving weekend. I've had two, I let my little brother have two (well, I let him have one, he helped himself to the second), and I still have two left. Needless to say, I dont drink much.
If you dont want to carry on a first date, that's fine. From what I've read, a lot of people dont. But IMO the fact you carry should be mentioned sometime between casual dating and serious relationship so its easier for both of you to walk away.
On the other hand, if you carry on enough first dates, and get made enough times, eventually you'll find a lady that doesnt mind, likes the idea, or carries her own.
2) I bought a six pack of Coronas on thankgiving weekend. I've had two, I let my little brother have two (well, I let him have one, he helped himself to the second), and I still have two left. Needless to say, I dont drink much.
If you dont want to carry on a first date, that's fine. From what I've read, a lot of people dont. But IMO the fact you carry should be mentioned sometime between casual dating and serious relationship so its easier for both of you to walk away.
On the other hand, if you carry on enough first dates, and get made enough times, eventually you'll find a lady that doesnt mind, likes the idea, or carries her own.
ctdonath
Member
There's several overlapping issues.
Guns in bars (just having one while in one, drinking aside).
Legal in some states, felonies in others. Know your jurisdiction's laws on the subject and proceed accordingly: either go to the bar sans piece, or go with something else that's legal (collapsing baton, pepper spray, knife, ...), or go somewhere else (there are in fact more interesting places to go), or throw a party at your place (she'd be more impressed, and the bar laws wouldn't apply; I'm starting to think of avoiding "public gathering" situations altogether for more interesting and less-gov't-meddling private events).
Guns and alcohol.
Some people, probably with great personal experience (not accusing, just observing), insist "guns or booze, but never both". Yes, inebriation can lead to badness around guns. Moderation does work; keep your hand off the gun and keep the buzz to a minimum. So long as you don't touch the thing, no problem; so long as you're not so discombobulated as to do something stupid with it, no problem.
I keep it to no more than one drink per hour (on the hour, with plenty of carbs-and-fats food to absorb it); you can make a drink last that long.
Alcohol and women.
She's your responsibility, and you're both in a place where bad stuff happens - be ready to deal with it, not trashed to the point where you can't deal with stuff, or you become the stuff. She'll have a better time if you keep your wits about you and focus on ensuring she has a good time.
Alcohol and motorcycles.
As noted, one can manage a car (not that I advocate it) while a bit buzzed, but not a motorcycle. If you're taking her on a two-wheeler with zero crash protection, you'd better be sharp.
Guns and motorcycles.
You have no place to store the gun if you're not going to take it inside. Either don't have one (see alternate weapons above), or keep it concealed.
(Does remind me of the story of a biker whose ride was frequently messed with in parking lots - until he attached a large, empty holster to the frame.)
Guns and women.
For THR frequenters, guns are a way of life. A date should know early what your way of life is (as you should know hers). You'd be surprised how many women find a gun-toting man to be a MAN. Even if ostensibly anti-gun, her base desires may very well be turned on by knowing you're a nice guy who really can kick ass for her if need be. If she's scared off by it, reconsider why you're trying to be with her; yeah she may be fun, but how fun is trying to hide stuff you enjoy? Don't mean to sound like an old fart (39), but keep in mind you're looking for Miss Right instead of Miss Right Now - you'll have a lot more fun in the long run (trust me), and better that she covet your guns than fear them.
Women, period.
Don't waste time with girls you don't want to be with for long. Spend time with women you DO want to be with - and who want to be with you - for long. Breaking up sucks. Dating crazies sucks. Spending a long time with someone you ultimately won't stay with can really screw you up when she leaves. You really don't have as much time as you think you do. "Nothing serious" is fun; "it's serious" is actually a lot more fun.
Of course, as said earlier: concealed is as concealed does.
Guns in bars (just having one while in one, drinking aside).
Legal in some states, felonies in others. Know your jurisdiction's laws on the subject and proceed accordingly: either go to the bar sans piece, or go with something else that's legal (collapsing baton, pepper spray, knife, ...), or go somewhere else (there are in fact more interesting places to go), or throw a party at your place (she'd be more impressed, and the bar laws wouldn't apply; I'm starting to think of avoiding "public gathering" situations altogether for more interesting and less-gov't-meddling private events).
Guns and alcohol.
Some people, probably with great personal experience (not accusing, just observing), insist "guns or booze, but never both". Yes, inebriation can lead to badness around guns. Moderation does work; keep your hand off the gun and keep the buzz to a minimum. So long as you don't touch the thing, no problem; so long as you're not so discombobulated as to do something stupid with it, no problem.
I keep it to no more than one drink per hour (on the hour, with plenty of carbs-and-fats food to absorb it); you can make a drink last that long.
Alcohol and women.
She's your responsibility, and you're both in a place where bad stuff happens - be ready to deal with it, not trashed to the point where you can't deal with stuff, or you become the stuff. She'll have a better time if you keep your wits about you and focus on ensuring she has a good time.
Alcohol and motorcycles.
As noted, one can manage a car (not that I advocate it) while a bit buzzed, but not a motorcycle. If you're taking her on a two-wheeler with zero crash protection, you'd better be sharp.
Guns and motorcycles.
You have no place to store the gun if you're not going to take it inside. Either don't have one (see alternate weapons above), or keep it concealed.
(Does remind me of the story of a biker whose ride was frequently messed with in parking lots - until he attached a large, empty holster to the frame.)
Guns and women.
For THR frequenters, guns are a way of life. A date should know early what your way of life is (as you should know hers). You'd be surprised how many women find a gun-toting man to be a MAN. Even if ostensibly anti-gun, her base desires may very well be turned on by knowing you're a nice guy who really can kick ass for her if need be. If she's scared off by it, reconsider why you're trying to be with her; yeah she may be fun, but how fun is trying to hide stuff you enjoy? Don't mean to sound like an old fart (39), but keep in mind you're looking for Miss Right instead of Miss Right Now - you'll have a lot more fun in the long run (trust me), and better that she covet your guns than fear them.
Women, period.
Don't waste time with girls you don't want to be with for long. Spend time with women you DO want to be with - and who want to be with you - for long. Breaking up sucks. Dating crazies sucks. Spending a long time with someone you ultimately won't stay with can really screw you up when she leaves. You really don't have as much time as you think you do. "Nothing serious" is fun; "it's serious" is actually a lot more fun.
Of course, as said earlier: concealed is as concealed does.
Mandirigma
Member
Yeah, used it the way I meant to say it.
???? Not sure I'm reading this right. Are you saying that when you are around that she's going to be left to fend for herself?
Guess thats where I differ. If I'm around it is my responsibility. But I take this tact with friends, and thier girlfriends/wives also. I am and have been better prepared and trained to do this. But I'm not going out of my way to fight her battles for her.
Heh, thought it was the game
There's a saying in my business. Come strong, or go home. or with a more urban flavor. Players do what they do, haters do what they can.
Guess thats what I love about my industry, no matter how much older I get, the girls stay the same age. I'm a social deviant, I work in nightclubs and bars. And I prefer it that way. There's only one job I'd trade it all for, and my knees won't let me do it anymore.
About time to hit the rack to do it all over again.
Notch
Member
Always carry, never abandon your firearm. Here we can carry in a bar, wouldnt matter to me if we couldnt, I still would. Just have a single beer and then drink water or whatnot. If she is over 22 she will appreciate (2ps?) you maintaining your sobriety as the driver.
Molon Labe
Molon Labe
Desk Jockey
Member
In Colorado, CCW in a bar is perfectly legal. However, CCW while under the influence of alcohol or controlled substances is a Class 2 misdemeanor - even with a permit. Since "under the influence" is not defined and is a lower standard than "intoxicated", the rule of thumb here is "Drink or carry - never do both." That's probably good advice anywhere, regardless of the law. Nothing wrong with drinking diet coke in a bar.
Laws nothwithstanding, YOU will know whether you are an a$$ when you drink, and how much may otherwise turn you into one. I do not see a big difference between a gun on my hip out at a bar/restaurant, or one upstairs if I am hanging with familiy. We all know guns and alcohol don't mix, but more succinctly it is HANDLING guns and alcohol that don't mix.
I am typically NOT going unarmed because I am having a beer or 2 with dinner out. Despite other NY control, carrying in bars is not illegal. If it is where you live, then suggest being social where it is allowed (the "why" being a good way to bring it up).
I am typically NOT going unarmed because I am having a beer or 2 with dinner out. Despite other NY control, carrying in bars is not illegal. If it is where you live, then suggest being social where it is allowed (the "why" being a good way to bring it up).
Shifty
Member
going out and drinking for the sake of drinking while carrying = dumb.
but merely having a drink is another thing entirely.
if you can not moderate your alcohol consumption, you have no business with a loaded firearm strapped to your side.
lets be adults about this.
what next, no alcohol in a house that has firearms?? knives.....??? prohibition again???? gimme a break.
but merely having a drink is another thing entirely.
if you can not moderate your alcohol consumption, you have no business with a loaded firearm strapped to your side.
lets be adults about this.
what next, no alcohol in a house that has firearms?? knives.....??? prohibition again???? gimme a break.
Prince Yamato
Member
Since you're old enough to drink and old enough to carry, I assume you're also old enough to appreciate a local symphony concert or art museum. Often the tickets for these events aren't that much (certainly no more than a couple rounds of hard drinks). You can most likely carry at the Symphony or the local art museum. Your girl will think you're highly educated (do a little research on wikipedia before you go out) and you'll be armed... it's win win... oh... but if you do go to the symphony, bring you gun, but leave your cellphone in the car.
Stretchman
member
If I have my firearm on me, and I am on the bike, it goes where I go. period. I don't care if they're serving beer, gambling, and running hooks. That being said, I don't always carry a firearm, but do carry a knife.
Don't put yourself into a position that will get you busted. You're in a biker bar, it's after 11, there's a lot of other bikers in there, and they are probably all packing. How many cops do you think would walk in there and perform a stop frisk on the patrons for no reason, especially if they've been drinking.
Don't give them a reason to. It is how it is.
Stretch
Quit cigs 1M 6D 13h 1m ago. So far saved $225.25, 1,501 cigs not smoked and counting ...
Don't put yourself into a position that will get you busted. You're in a biker bar, it's after 11, there's a lot of other bikers in there, and they are probably all packing. How many cops do you think would walk in there and perform a stop frisk on the patrons for no reason, especially if they've been drinking.
Don't give them a reason to. It is how it is.
Stretch
Quit cigs 1M 6D 13h 1m ago. So far saved $225.25, 1,501 cigs not smoked and counting ...
No, if someone is going out and trying to pick a fight with her, I'll stick up for her in the same way I would for my male friends, or anybody else I know. But that's because I'm a nice guy, not because it's my responsiblity. Also becaue that'd interfere with my good time. I'm a date, not a hired bodyguard. I'm not a babysitter and she's not a kid, in the end, she's her own responsibility. If her actions are bringing down the s*** down on herself, that's her fault.
I don't know what you mean. I was saying that you can be blunt and be yourself now, without all the pomp and ceremony and formality of the old fashioned ways. Basically for our generation, there's not much you need to say, as long as you put yourself out there, you get girls. If you see a girl at a party and she's flirting with you, and you're flirting with her, you both know what you want, you can just go and ask her to go back to your place without all the formality of dating or meeting anybody.
Mandirigma
Member
guess we're kind of on the same page here. The people I hang out with know that about me. I'll back you up all the way, just don't start it. You start it and you are on your own.
Blunt and myself is how I've always been. But I've never seen the need, nor had the urge to impress anyone. If you liked me you liked me, if not, no big deal. There are 6 billion people in the world, Not gonig to be friends with all of them
Like I said earlier, High speed low drag. Its the Game. Basically, the game of hooking up. I know you don't plan on asking her to your place to play video games or to have a meaningful political discussion (if that even exists)
But also "game" as in charisma. As to the say Come Strong, or Go home. (Older translation may be more akin to: All's fair in love and war.)It ties into that charisma. Basically it means, bring your best. I'm going to do what I have to, to get what I want and I expect the competition to do the same.
Case in point. Thursday night one of the hot bartenders comes in on her off night, she brings along her girlfriend and two guys that are trying to hook up with them. After they get all settled in the guys turn thier attention to one of the t.v's and a NBA game. I call them on it, in front of the bar, and the girls. Of course they started to retailiate. I didn't hear much passed "I got my priorities..." I cut him off, "Hey, if you want to watch a bunch of guys get all hot and sweaty together thats your thing. Me, I'd prefer to spend time with these sexy little things." Then basically ignored them and proceded to take time and talk with the girls. Big suprise the guys left about 30 minutes later. The girls stayed until about 30 minutes until closing, they had class the next morning.
I know I know not a very High Road way to do things, but I'm not going to sit back and be a gentleman and let one of them get what I want. (Which is spending time with that bartender) I'm going to Come Strong and make them step up to the plate.
Now don't get me wrong. I was watching the basketball game before they showed up. And its a perfectly acceptable pasttime. But you can do that any other time than when you are out with two HOT young women. I can check online later or catch how the game when on ESPN. Honestly can't even remember who was playing any more.
As I said earlier. Dress well, smell good, and act smooth. Be confident.
To me that's just being simple and blunt. You like her, she likes you, you both want the same thing so you take her home and f***. I like it that way, without the ritual and ceremony. Kinda surprised about the bartender thing though. Bartenders get hit on all the time by guys too shy to talk to girls unless they know she's obligated to talk to them, it's just much easier to meet the regular girls at the club. We probably don't go to the same kinds of places though. It sounds like a sports bar, for older people. There's no ball games and no chairs at the clubs and bars out here, and almost never anyone over 30. You get your drink, go to the dance floor. She grinds on you, you take her home. She does the distance dancing thing, you stick with her through the song and go find a girl who's more interested. But it's 6 am now. I should probably get to sleep.
Come to Oregon
I don't see bar and/or alcohom mentioned, and just perusing the Oregon law, I can't find the typcial NO CARRYING IN BARS clause nearly every other state has. Goto packing.org for the general, useful rules and then follow the links to the state specific rules that have the legalese all stated line by boring line.
From what I gather, I can go into a bar and drink with my gun in possession, but I can't go on tribal land concealed, or any Wilderness area. Like I'm going to allow some cougar to have his way and make me food while in the backcountry. In the backcountry, I'll take my chances and be very careful that I'm concealed because there is not going to be anyone dropping off the skyhook to save me when said cougar decides it's mealtime. But in a bar, that's just bad karma in my opinion, but apparently not illegal. This is particularly perplexing about Oregon, I'm obviously missing something.
This is from Washington County Sherrif's dept webpage for OREGON
Whatever you do, read the boring legalese and know specifically what you're looking for.
I don't see bar and/or alcohom mentioned, and just perusing the Oregon law, I can't find the typcial NO CARRYING IN BARS clause nearly every other state has. Goto packing.org for the general, useful rules and then follow the links to the state specific rules that have the legalese all stated line by boring line.
From what I gather, I can go into a bar and drink with my gun in possession, but I can't go on tribal land concealed, or any Wilderness area. Like I'm going to allow some cougar to have his way and make me food while in the backcountry. In the backcountry, I'll take my chances and be very careful that I'm concealed because there is not going to be anyone dropping off the skyhook to save me when said cougar decides it's mealtime. But in a bar, that's just bad karma in my opinion, but apparently not illegal. This is particularly perplexing about Oregon, I'm obviously missing something.
This is from Washington County Sherrif's dept webpage for OREGON
Whatever you do, read the boring legalese and know specifically what you're looking for.
Tom Servo
Member
+1000 Yamamoto-san!
As far as dating, well, um, I'm not exactly the authority
However, after reading a few posts (and from personal observation), I remember why I bowed out of the rat-race a few years back. I've no interest in "hooking up," or in what we used to call "one-night stands."Since I don't do blind dates, whoever I go out with is most likely to be someone I've already met. In my circle, I'm the "gun guy," so if I'm on a date with someone, chances are a) she knows I'm carrying, and b) she knows not to mention it in public..
How you bring it up matters. A couple of years ago, I had gotten off a late-night shift, and I stopped at an iHop at around 0200 for some dinner. I arrived at the same time as the bar crowd, and of course we know how well alcohol and hormones mix. Somebody said something about someone else and tempers were simmering when I distinctly heard a woman say to her boyfriend, "you've got a gun on you, right?"
Way to make yourself the first target
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