Dances With Wolves? No, Sings To Lions

[Art Eatman]

Here's the True Fact way to avoid Death and Destruction when assaulted by a tactical cougar:

“HIKER SOOTHES SAVAGE BEAST – WITH SONGSâ€

A gay California hiker fought off a vicious mountain lion using nothing but his lips.

For two hours, 28-year-old Lionel Turner sang for his life, belting out Broadway show tunes that featured memorable hits…

Turner says he was walking along a nature trail when 300 pounds of snarling teeth and fur landed on his back.

“I had no gun or knife.†But he had a killer repertoire.

“They say music soothes the savage beast,†says Turner. “I was as good as dead so I figured, “What the Hell?†and opened with ‘Let Me Entertain You.’

“The lion sat down and tapped his paw to the beat. I segued into an emotional rendition of ‘Some Enchanted Evening,’ and he was so moved he seemed to sob. I belted out more songs and ended the set with ‘I Feel Pretty.’

“The lion loved that. He purred and licked his privates. I just walked away.â€

And there you have it--straight from the pages of Weekly World News, that fount of all things factual.

, Art

 

[Schuey2002]

The lion sat down and tapped his paw to the beat. .. and he was so moved he seemed to sob.

Yeah.. right! And I suppose it sang along too..

 

[Byron Quick]

Darn. The songs I know would probably spur him to attack more vigorously. Guess I'll just have to shoot the kitty.

Sorry about that

How about the lady in California who was swimming with seals? I reckon she didn't realize that swimming with the great white shark's primary prey in that region might not be optimal when evaluated with survival as one of the criteria....dummy.

 

[DigMe]

I wonder if he'd like "Welcome to the Jungle."

Or maybe a tune from "Cats."

brad cook

 

[twoblink]

I'm sure the Lion just knows that a little music before dinner whet's the appetite..

My friend's grandpa in Oregon says "My 30'06 Remington does the singin' for me" And the phrase is funny as it is, but from someone toothless, it's even funnier..

 

[sm]

I cannot believe what I want to type would be frowned on by the guy's Grandma that started this thread. Trust me...it was that good.

Oh phooey...well...in that case nothing from ...

" Annie Get Your Gun"
" Roar of the Greasepaint - Smell of the Crowd"
"My Fair Lady"

was used - huh?

 

[Stand_Watie]

http://dev2.weebls-stuff.com/kenya3.swf

 

[Dr.Rob]

Cat Scratch Fever?