pcf
Member
What do her parents think about their relationship? If she still lives under her parent's roof, they have the final say. If they object then your cousin should do the decent thing and wait until she's 18 before they date again.
Dating an underage girl?
- Thread starter megatronrules
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progunner1957
member
It sounds like he is treading on thin ice, especially since dating an underage girl is a felony in Florida. I agree that he should talk to an attorney and heed the advice he gets.
No physical evidence would be needed to arrest and charge him - just the 17 year old girl's say-so that he had sex with her. IMO it is stupid, because at 17 she is a woman in every sense of the word, and she is not going to magically change from a little girl to an adult at 12:01am on the day of her 18th birthday.
But - "The Law's The Law," as they say. The powers that be can't keep him from dating her, but they can sure as hell make him wish he'd never met her. They are good at that.
No physical evidence would be needed to arrest and charge him - just the 17 year old girl's say-so that he had sex with her. IMO it is stupid, because at 17 she is a woman in every sense of the word, and she is not going to magically change from a little girl to an adult at 12:01am on the day of her 18th birthday.
But - "The Law's The Law," as they say. The powers that be can't keep him from dating her, but they can sure as hell make him wish he'd never met her. They are good at that.
Nathanael_Greene
Member
In general, I think that when it comes to a large age disparity, either the younger person has to act older, which is unfair, or the older person acts younger, which is pathetic.
silliman89
Member
I think you mean vanity. If not, why do you have a banister in your bathroom, and is it really a good place to shave?
You know what? You changed my mind. I guess there is an issue here. And being a felony, with gun rights being revoked, I suppose it's even gun related.
geekWithA.45
Moderator Emeritus
This thread's a tough call, both in content and whether to leave it open.
I'll be keeping an eye on it, with a strong temptation to say "asked, answered, done."
My personal opinion in the matter is that "age of consent laws" are devised to prevent the exploitation of the young, a laudable goal. In so doing, they must draw some sort of a line, which is ultimately arbitrary, and will innevitably conflict with some circumstance or other that is otherwise within the realm of honor.
This creates a certain 3 way tension between the individual rights of those in question, what society condones (past and present), and what the law actually says.
I'll be keeping an eye on it, with a strong temptation to say "asked, answered, done."
My personal opinion in the matter is that "age of consent laws" are devised to prevent the exploitation of the young, a laudable goal. In so doing, they must draw some sort of a line, which is ultimately arbitrary, and will innevitably conflict with some circumstance or other that is otherwise within the realm of honor.
This creates a certain 3 way tension between the individual rights of those in question, what society condones (past and present), and what the law actually says.
Camp David
member
megatronrules said:
Tell your cousin to be a man and speak to the girl's father about his intentions; if the dad is the normal caring father, he'll tell your cousin to wait a while, or he will tell your cousin to not show his face around his property ever again, which is probably the right move in my opinion.
Curious... why is this "a cousin" matter a concern of yours?
p35
Member
The rules have changed a lot over the years. Playboy once had a 17 year old Playmate- I think in the '60s. Nowadays, that would get them busted for "child pornography". Hardly an accurate label IMHO.
Having said that, most criminal sex cases come down to "he said-she said". Nothing says that a jury can't convict based on the girl's (in this case) word alone. Can your cousin bet his life that she wouldn't go to the authorities if she felt he'd done her wrong?
Having said that, most criminal sex cases come down to "he said-she said". Nothing says that a jury can't convict based on the girl's (in this case) word alone. Can your cousin bet his life that she wouldn't go to the authorities if she felt he'd done her wrong?
cropcirclewalker
member
I'm kinda with Ms. Pax on this one.
My paternal grandparents were married when he was 20 and she was 13. They finally passed within 3 months of each other after 76 years of marriage and eleven kids.
One son was in WWI and 4 sons in WWII. No fatalities.
This, to me, seems to be a record to which a couple could aspire.
Maybe they weren't smarter back then, but they sure were tougher.
My paternal grandparents were married when he was 20 and she was 13. They finally passed within 3 months of each other after 76 years of marriage and eleven kids.
One son was in WWI and 4 sons in WWII. No fatalities.
This, to me, seems to be a record to which a couple could aspire.
Maybe they weren't smarter back then, but they sure were tougher.
Don Gwinn
Moderator Emeritus
I guess two moderators have looked this over and decided there's enough civil liberties content--for now.
I don't really see what the cousin's problem is. She's 17. She'll be at the age of consent in any state in the union in less than a year. He can't date a girl for a year without having sex with her? I will tell you frankly that I never waited a shorter time than that--considerably longer, actually. It didn't kill me or her, although girls are generally a bit puzzled at meeting a man who can resist their charms.
If you can't wait a year, you don't care enough to bother with her. Dump her and find someone your own age to toy with, if she's only going to be a toy.
I understand the civil liberties angle, but as has been pointed out, determining the correct age of consent muddies that pool considerably. Sexual relations with someone who can't give informed consent is no one's civil right. However, I have to agree with Pax (as usual) that our society has generally done a poor job of determining a reasonable age of consent.
I don't really see what the cousin's problem is. She's 17. She'll be at the age of consent in any state in the union in less than a year. He can't date a girl for a year without having sex with her? I will tell you frankly that I never waited a shorter time than that--considerably longer, actually. It didn't kill me or her, although girls are generally a bit puzzled at meeting a man who can resist their charms.
If you can't wait a year, you don't care enough to bother with her. Dump her and find someone your own age to toy with, if she's only going to be a toy.
I understand the civil liberties angle, but as has been pointed out, determining the correct age of consent muddies that pool considerably. Sexual relations with someone who can't give informed consent is no one's civil right. However, I have to agree with Pax (as usual) that our society has generally done a poor job of determining a reasonable age of consent.
Lennyjoe
Member
This thread would be gun related had it been my 17 year old daughter coming home with a 25 year old boyfriend.
Actually, if he would come to me and have a man to man then maybe I would accept it but not the other way around. As for legal laws, if Florida says 17 is ok then so be it.
Tough call otherwise.
Actually, if he would come to me and have a man to man then maybe I would accept it but not the other way around. As for legal laws, if Florida says 17 is ok then so be it.
Tough call otherwise.
atlctyslkr
Member
Is it worth being a sex offender and not being able to live anywhere
http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=205392
This is a very popular trend right now.
http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=205392
This is a very popular trend right now.
Zundfolge
Member
In addition, you get popped as a sex offender (and believe me the name of the charge is going to sound like you were raping babies) and you'll find yourself with no 2A rights as well (most sex offenses are felonies).
All it takes is for this girl and/or her parents to change their opinion of you and BAM you're a second class citizen for the rest of your life.
If she's worth it, she's worth waiting for or go ahead and marry her.
All it takes is for this girl and/or her parents to change their opinion of you and BAM you're a second class citizen for the rest of your life.
If she's worth it, she's worth waiting for or go ahead and marry her.
He never defined what he meant by "dating". Are we to assume it's being used as a euphemism for "sexual activity"? When I was younger (couple of decades ago... oh alright, maybe three) dating was more commonly used to designate social activities like bowling or having a malt or going to a movie together. Sexual activity was not a given and usually came later in the relationship when the word "couple" came into play.
I think the law is silly. But it's the law nevertheless and the stakes are alarmingly high. When in doubt, don't. Having said that, I know the odds of persuading a 17 yo girl and a 25 yo guy, who are probably listening to their hormones a lot more than the voice of common sense. I wish them good luck and hope they don't get in trouble.
I think the law is silly. But it's the law nevertheless and the stakes are alarmingly high. When in doubt, don't. Having said that, I know the odds of persuading a 17 yo girl and a 25 yo guy, who are probably listening to their hormones a lot more than the voice of common sense. I wish them good luck and hope they don't get in trouble.
This topic begs that the old joke be brought up:
A cop is making his rounds and sees a car parked on the side of the road. Knowing this is a popular make-out spot, he figures it's a couple of kids that he'll surprise while their minds (and bodies) are occupied on each other, and then send on their way.
He parks behind them, walks up to the car, and is surprised to see a girl in back knitting and a guy at the wheel reading a book. Confused, he asks why they're sitting in the front and back of the car in a popular make-out spot.
The guy puts down his book, looks at his watch, and says "That is my girlfriend, who is 17. In two more hours, she'll be 18, and I'll be in the back seat with her."
A cop is making his rounds and sees a car parked on the side of the road. Knowing this is a popular make-out spot, he figures it's a couple of kids that he'll surprise while their minds (and bodies) are occupied on each other, and then send on their way.
He parks behind them, walks up to the car, and is surprised to see a girl in back knitting and a guy at the wheel reading a book. Confused, he asks why they're sitting in the front and back of the car in a popular make-out spot.
The guy puts down his book, looks at his watch, and says "That is my girlfriend, who is 17. In two more hours, she'll be 18, and I'll be in the back seat with her."
Art Eatman
Moderator In Memoriam
Megatron, I suggest you go to some website like findlaw.com and hunt up what is written in the Florida law.
Otherwise, all this is, is, "Ann Landers, revisited." I don't think I'd want to determine my behavior--and the potential for legal fees--on Internet recommendations, beyond some points to ponder.
We can but speculate. The reality is that Florida Statutes Rule.
, Art
Otherwise, all this is, is, "Ann Landers, revisited." I don't think I'd want to determine my behavior--and the potential for legal fees--on Internet recommendations, beyond some points to ponder.
We can but speculate. The reality is that Florida Statutes Rule.
, ArtWayneConrad
Member
Perhaps this is civil liberties related, just as it is that everything affects interstate commerce. But it is not civil liberties related enough.
DWARREN123
Member
Back when I was 23 I was in the same situation. I was dating a 17 year old. It turned bad (I married her), 3 years later got divorced. Worse damn female ever and her mom was worse!
P.S. The bad part was I married her.
P.S. The bad part was I married her.
Evil Monkey
member
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I guess some people have no self control. They just can't wait to get some from the opposite sex. There are so many fish in the wide sea and as a 25 year old you end up with a 16 year old? How the hell does such a thing happen?
I am 19 years old but am terrified of even talking to 16 year old girls just because of the possibility that I can loose my gun rights. In todays world, with child molestors, sex offenders, etc, on the daily news, there is no reason to mess around like this.
I am 19 years old but am terrified of even talking to 16 year old girls just because of the possibility that I can loose my gun rights. In todays world, with child molestors, sex offenders, etc, on the daily news, there is no reason to mess around like this.
As far as how it was with our parents and grandparents there is one little difference. Sex before marriage was rare and divorce was even more rare. Times have changed in more than one way. Plus dating was usually with some adult around or alot of other people. There was the idea of respect also. Now all this has been replaced with let's hook-up like dogs do and TALK ABOUT IT<PUT VIDEO ON MYSPACE AND PICTURES. Tell your cousin to zip it untill she is 18 if he can not do that for himself and her he has no self control which is not a good thing for the future. Just an old womon speaking here with alot of wisdom from living.
Oleg Volk
Moderator Emeritus
This is a fine topic for http://armedpolitesociety.com , put up for just such discussions.
megatronrules
Member
Thanks guys I know some here have replied "whoever your friend is" I think some here would try to imply I'am talking about myself here but I can assure you I'am not. I believe in standing up for what I believe in and if the person in question was me I'ad say so up front. Now I take no offense to anything anyone here has said I respect this forum and it's members opinions and thank you again for them.
geekWithA.45
Moderator Emeritus
Keydokee.
And on that note, we'll call it a day.
Feel free to reopen on APS.
And on that note, we'll call it a day.
Feel free to reopen on APS.
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