I load and shoot 110 gr, 125 gr, and 158 gr all jacketed hollow points.
The 110's will absolutely scream out the barrel at a million fps, well that's an exaggeration. But they do fly pretty darn fast as well.
The 125's are still pretty fast and will no doubt serve well as a self defense round if a quality projectile, Gold Dots and XTP'ds are good.
And as RC said, the 158's are the traditional and most common of projectiles, for which the .357's are so well known for.
I have two K frame model 66's, and both have had gobs of all the above run through them, one sice the early 1980's, so far there is no sign of forcing cone issues. I have read that S&W considers most FC issues due to lead build up in the forcing cone, thus creating excessive pressures. If in doubt just shoot 158;s and be done with your concerns. But also considering you are referring to a Ruger BH, so I wouldn't be too worried about FC issues, as those Black Hawks are built like tanks.
But the one's I use the most of are 158's, and 125's pretty often too. Enjoy and worry not!
GS