Do I owe my wife an apology?

[krmgator]

OK, we're on vacation and the hotel we are staying in tonight does not have a safe.

I have a Taurus Model 85Ultralite with the lock on the hammer. Loaded with
+P. We are going to go swimming in the pool. I lock it (loaded) and put in the bottom of one of our bags.

We come back (there are kids also with us); she has to reach in the bag and effing freaks when she touches the pistol. I had not told her previously of my putting it in there or locking it. I didn't realize she needed to get into that bag.

I open myself up to the court of public opinion. Am I innocent or guilty of utter stupidity?

 

[smee781]

If it was not your bag than you should of told here it was in there.

 

[BHP FAN]

Some folks react to guns about like others do to snakes.I'd have slipped it [locked] up in the top of the room's closet.

 

[496 polara]

If you have to ask the question you owe her an apology.It was in the marital fine print you did'nt read.
Seriously,while she may have overreacted that could'nt happen if she knew it was there.

 

[danbrew]

Yes, but only because there are kids with you. Your wife is old enough to know better than to touch it, your kids might not be. I would have locked it in the car if there were young children around and you couldn't maintain positive control over it at all times.

 

[lions]

Why wouldn't you tell her it was there in the first place? There is always the chance that she might need it while you aren't in the room. I also wouldn't want a gun loose in the bottom of a bag, locked or otherwise. There is also the issue about the kids, as danbrew pointed out. I think an apology is in order, as well as re-thinking your methods for securing the gun.

 

[mljdeckard]

I didn't need to read the comment, the fact that you are asking means that you owe her an apology, and you are guilty of utter stupidity. Join the club. I read the title and I knew the answer was yes.

Um....does she really still freak out that you have a gun around? Could she not be...happy that you locked it somewhere instead of leaving it out where the kids, the maid, and the hotel thief could easily get to it?

 

[Jim Watson]

If you find yourself winning an argument with your wife; stop and apologize immediately.

L. Long

 

[shiftyer1]

Are you very recently married? I can't imagine my wife freaking out about finding a gun because they are all over and shes come to accept the fact that I like to have a little protection around.

And you stated you told her it was there. You did nothing wrong.

 

[Bush Pilot]

Apologize and tell her you won't be so insensitive in the future. If the kids are staying in another room it would be a good time for make-up sex. You can win and make her think she did.

 

[Virginian]

I cannot relate enough to comment. I admit I had to apologise to my wife when she laid down on one of mine. I had been messing with it and left it on the bed. She wasn't scared, but it did hurt her.... uh, feelings.

 

[Eightball]

Couldn't hurt, at the very least.

At least it was locked.....otherwise, bad things could have happened depending on her precise reaction when finding it @_@

 

[Guillermo]

Wow...I am pretty amazed by the responses.

Apparently you packed in the same bags so it was as much your stuff as hers. It is not as though you hid it in her purse.

Tell her that you would not be mad if you touched one of her panty shields. Then tell her to grow freakin up. Unless you lube your gun in phlegm it is a benign object.


If she gets mad tell her that you are not mad that she didn't wipe the fingerprints off or put the toilet seat up when she is done.

Geez...apologizing because she acts like a child is the EXACT wrong thing to do.

Remember, positive reinforcement for good behavior, negative reinforcement for bad.

 

[Doug S]

I think you should have told her it was in her bag, but otherwise I really don't understand marriages where the two participants can't come together on these things. Does she trust you or not? My wife and I may not agree on every point, but we have basically the same core values. If we didn't, I wouldn't have married her, nor she me. The belief in self-defense in one of those values. I'd probably be more likely to have to apologize to her if I didn't provide her with access to firearms. And that's coming form a mild-mannered women who had no experience with guns whatsoever before meeting me. When I decided to purchase a gun, we discussed it, and she understood my feelings on the topic. With a little further education, it wasn't long until her views were in sync mine.

 

[DeepSouth]

Do I owe my wife an apology?

I have found if I am having to ask the question, the answer is inevitably yes 99% of the time.
You most likely should have told her it was there.

Apart from that, other actions and such would be very situational depending on both peoples views and specific relationship.

 

[jimmyraythomason]

You answered that on your wedding day,when the preacher asked you "do you.....?"

 

[bearmgc]

No you do not owe her an apology. She needs to quit with the freakin squeemies. I am a woman who CCW's, and this "oh protect me crap but don't have that gun near me" is immature and overreacting.

 

[Guillermo]

I think you should have told her it was in her bag

it was not HER bag...it was

in the bottom of one of our bags

The woman is his WIFE not his MOMMY. It was a locked revolver.

Why should he ask permission or inform her of what he puts in the bag that THEY were using?

My stomach is a little queasy reading this thread

 

[bearmgc]

My stomach turned. Her reaction is something I might expect from a 13yr old. Again, it was a LOCKED revolver.

 

[dubious]

Well, I'd apologize that she'd been frightened by the revolver, then try to make some headway on the topic of why you have the right to self defense.

My stomach turned. Her reaction is something I might expect from a 13yr old. Again, it was a LOCKED revolver.

The whole topic of a locked but loaded gun is food for thought. Considering that you should never trust a safety (mostly found on semi autos) to make a gun safe... can you really trust a lock to make a gun safe? I think you should've at least unloaded it if you left it "locked", loaded, and unattended in your hotel room and have kids. Nothing against the OP... that's just what I would've done. Another reason why built in locks are silly business. Next time bring a cable lock.

 

[Doug S]

Why should he ... inform her of what he puts in the bag that THEY were using?

So that she would know it was in there. Seriously, I think it's a good idea to be on the same page, and to know where the loaded firearms are located, especially when children are involved (locked or not). Informing her as to where the firearms are located would have been good for safety reasons, for legal reasons, and for being prepared for a defensive situation.

I surely wouldn't apologize because she was subjected to touching an inanimate object.

Why not tell her it was in the bag?

I guess I really don't understand this marriage is a "competition" thing.

 

[Girodin]

I don't know much about women but one thing I have learned is you should appologize even if you don't know why.

On a more serious note I dated a woman who was terrified by guns and had the type of reactions you have described. Through patience and education she became much more accepting of guns and even wanted to go shooting and get her own gun.

Dont force the issue but education goes a long ways.

 

[Guillermo]

Dubious

1st off the issue that his wife freaked because she touched a gun. She needs to grow up and he needs to tell her so in no uncertain terms.

As to the rest of your post, it was not a "safety" engaged, but a lock.

Second of all it was "unattended" in a locked hotel room. Just like the "unattended" gun back home on your nightstand in the locked house.

Third, how can you say that the Taurus lock is untrustable but some other lock is? Unlike the repugnant Smith IL, the Taurus lock is a good design (its locking motion is perpendicular to the recoil of the gun).

KRMGATOR did nothing wrong, used proper safety procedures and owes no apology. His wife needs to apologize for not acting like a grown up. And if she did her "freak out" job in front of the kids she owes them an apology too.

Parents have a responsibility to be a good example and silly emotional displays are bad for a child's development.

 

[shappa]

My wife would have said...




"Where's the speed-loader?"

 

[ArchAngelCD]

Wow, I'm a little surprised there are so many non-men men in here. If you do something wrong you should apologize but don't apologize just to do it. I don't do it and I would want my wife to do it. (and we have been married for 32 years) You locked the gun so you made it safe. You put the gun in your bag so what's the big deal? It's only a gun for goodness sakes, I really don't get it... Why would anyone "freak out" just because they touched a gun? It's not like you stuck a severed horse's head in her bed!