Hassled while CCW

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Why would I accept boorish behavior from anyone, and why would I allow a friend to treat me in a way that I would not put up with from a stranger?

1 I ask you to stop in a friendly way. If that doesn't work, or is inappropriate;
2 I tell you to stop, and if that is ineffective;
3 I demand that you stop in a forceful way, if that is ineffective, then it is obvious that persuasion will not work, so we move to force;
4 I take your hands off of me, grabbing wrists, etc.

If you are trying to touch my weapon or hurt me, I will use stronger measures

5 I can always use a wrist lock or pressure points
6 physical blows
7 I can go to weapons retention drills, including drawing the weapon


I know a lot of cops, but I do not know a single one that would allow me to try and touch his sidearm. Do you? Why would you stand for it either? Even if she means so ill will, playing around with firearms too often results in tragedy.
 
why would I allow a friend to treat me in a way that I would not put up with from a stranger?

Because they are your friends and, therefore, have different boundaries than do strangers.

I'm sure if we put our minds to this, we can spin it up into a crisis that could have resulted in a massive bodycount, runaway inflation, a police state, confiscation of all personally owned communications devices, and enforced sterility.

To me, though, it sounds exactly like a little grab-ass among friends. It just barely rises to the level of being a little inappropriate.

Some of us might be better off leaving the gun in the safe if carrying it gives us the fantods over an incident like this.
 
To me, though, it sounds exactly like a little grab-ass among friends. It just barely rises to the level of being a little inappropriate.

Some of us might be better off leaving the gun in the safe if carrying it gives us the fantods over an incident like this.

So freakin' true.
 
I know this is the THR, but I can't help it: you could have started grabbing at her in various, um, "places" (that's pretty clean, right?), and when she recoils in abject terror, ask her "feel violated? Me too. Now we're even. Keep your frickin hands off of me."

Maybe a good offense (interpret as you like) would have been the best defense :)
 
To me, though, it sounds exactly like a little grab-ass among friends. It just barely rises to the level of being a little inappropriate.

Yes because grab-ass with a loaded weapon is SOOOO appropriate. What if one of the people in the store saw his weapon and called the cops?
 
You tell me. I'm not going to help you. You'll need to work up your own apocalyptic fantasies of how that would play out.

BTW, it wasn't grab-ass with a loaded weapon. The weapon was never touched or even uncovered, much less out of the holster and being played with. It was grab-ass with her husband's friend.
 
You know, something did just occur to me.

If everyone is being so straight arrow and extends their loaded-weapon-status- privacy bubble so far out, don't we look way more conspicuous than the average person?
I can just picture walking around with a dour face, looking around every street corner and flinching when someone walks up behind you .... isn't that way more conspicuous than a little grab ass and an eyebrow waggle when the hand reaches a certain spot, followed by more casual conversation?

I understand an armed society is a polite society, but that shouldn't equal a repressed society.

For instance, let's say I followed every last piece of advice about how to keep my weapon concealed at all times, I'd look like a damn stiff with paranoia. Not exactly like the College Student I am, right? So what's more conspicuous?
A middle aged man (I can only assume) acting like he has something to hide and blaffing at his buddies wife, as she's pestering him, or:
A middle aged man, snickering as said wife reaches into the small of his back and saying something like "Now, can I look?"

I know who I'd be keeping an eye out. And it's sure as hell not the THR concensus.
 
Hassled while CCW
So I stopped in to see a friend at his place of business today and his wife was there too. We talked for a few minutes then she mentioned my wife had been in last week and talked to her husband about getting his CT permit. Apparently he did that which is cool! She then proceeds to badger me at whether or not I'm carrying! I calmly evade her questions then she starts grabbing my shirt and walking around behind me all the while asking "what is this?" "Is that the gun?" I continue to evade and put my back up against the wall to keep her from frisking me down! I try to play it cool, but my face got flushed and I did get uncomfortable and try to change the subject. This went on for a few minutes then she finally quit. She is not really against CCW, she just wanted to know if I was carrying right then. I said "If you can't tell then don't worry about." She seemed to take that in stride, but I'm not sure she believed me. Anyway, how would you handle a situation like this? I felt a little exploited and nervous throughout the whole encounter.
distra is offline Report Post Quick reply to this message

Your friends know you have a permit.
Your wife encouraged your friend to get his permit, which he did.
Seems like permits and carry guns are a current topic of interest for you and your friends.
Your friends Wife asks if you are carrying?
You evade her question.....
Maybe it's a "Canadian" thing, but I don't get it?
Why not just answer her question?
 
If you are good friends (and by your own admission you are), I don't see what the big deal is...should have just told her to begin with.

:)
 
I don't see this as a gun issue so much as an issue of boundaries between friends. Everyone is different on that issue. I would never tolerate that sort of behavior from my wife (more accurately, I married a woman that I won't have to worry about whether or not I have to tolerate it), and she wouldn't want me putting up with that sort of grabbing from a friend's wife. If I were in that situation and I saw where his boundaries were, I'd be more concerned with him thinking that there were loose boundaries between him and my wife.


Of course, some people just don't care about those sorts of loose boundaries, so long as you aren't cheating. It's a personal thing and I'm not about to tell you where your boundaries should be. I'd just view it the same way as if she had been grabbing for, say, your keys, so long as she wasn't trying to take it out and play with it.
 
How about "Yes, I am." Then, offer to show her the piece. If she accepts, unload it, explain how it works, let her hold it, give her some safety tips, etc. Why get flustered about such a thing?
 
I'm totally baffled by many of these responses. Do you guys have some deep-seated fear or shame because you're carrying a gun? You haven't pooped your pants, you're just carrying a gun.

Tell the person "Yes". If you're in an appropriate venue (not seated in a restaurant), then offer to show them the gun (after you've unloaded it). Offer to take them shooting. Make a positive impression instead of acting like you've got gonorrhea.
 
are you carrying? being asked as you describe the situtation
elicits a response of "you know what Karl Malden says....."
and than an offer to persur the discussion in a place more private.

of course if a pretty lady wants to play slap & tickle and her husband
doesn't mind...........:cool: till the wife gets home:D
 
'm totally baffled by many of these responses. Do you guys have some deep-seated fear or shame because you're carrying a gun? You haven't pooped your pants, you're just carrying a gun.

You are my new hero.

If we want the general public to accept guns, then we need to accept guns. Tonight I open carried as a concession to wardrobe, though I do not usually do so. I didn't obsess over the gun or do anything to draw attention to it. Guess what? I ate and drank and laughed and joked and grab-assed with friends and family at a very nice restaurant and...absolutely nothing happened.
Don't be so addicted to drama that you feel compelled to create your own.
 
Yes. I'm going to agree with the agreement that KodiakBeer has nailed it.

Les
 
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