How do you get someone over their fear of guns?

[Bullnettles]

As for the college thing, my g/f was a conservative, gun-fearing lady. First time out was with a .22 carbine, M4, and a 303 British. She was scared to hold it at first (I had already gone through safety at home, this was not her first time to hold it), but once she found out it only goes off if you pull the trigger, she loved it. She did a few rounds of the M$ and didn't like the noise (had earplugs), and I asked her if she wanted to fire the 303. I got a quick no and she now likes shooting . Her parents think I'm a gun-nut (guilty) and think their daughter has gone nuts. I'm proud. Now for the parents and the next door neighbor. She has agreed to go shooting, but flaked out once already. Perseverance is going to be the key here. As for college, not many of my friends were anti-2nd, but the ones that were I didnn't feel comfortable letting them have a loaded firearm...

 

[Fishman777]

Tough call...

I actually think that a little bit of gun fear is a very healthy thing. Let me explain what I mean by that:

About a year ago, there was a thread, on this forum, that polled the regulars of this forum about whether they ever had a negligent discharge with one of their firearms. If my memory serves me correctly, around 30% of the people polled confessed that they had at least one negilgent discharge. I was a little shocked by that number, especially when considering how many people responded to the poll. It surprised me to find that a lot of these people were very experienced shooters. Some of these folks probably considered themselves very disciplined with their firearms. I think that it is possible to become too comfortable with a firearm. I think that is what might have happened with these veteran shooters.

I believe that a healthy, sober respect for what a gun is capable of doing should always remain in the back of every shooters mind. think that calling it a healthy "fear" wouldn't be that much of a stretch. An irrational fear is another story. It is not something that you can overcome for them. They have to be willing. If you can get them out to the range, then do it during a slow time at the range. Teach them about gun safety, and start them off with some dry-firing. Then after they feel a little better about handling the gun, let them shoot some .22s with you. I think that stressing safety will also help. If you are a good example of firearms saftey, they will probably feel better about the whole experience. They will feel better about you handling firearms and probably will feel more comfortable themselves.

If they don't want to come out to the range, don't push them. Respect their right not to get involved in shooting. Some people just need to be left alone. If you push too hard with them, you'll drive them away. Some people don't necessarily dislike the guns, they dislike what their loved one's "gun obsession" does to them. If your loved one is negative about guns, it may be time to distance yourself from your guns for a while. Their dislike for the guns might be a response to how the guns affect you. I'm not suggesting that you give up your hobby. Maybe just tone it down a bit. Maybe they'll be more open to your hobby if they get the sense that you aren't going to run up the credit cards to finance your next five "must have" gun purchases.

It is a tough call. I wish that I had a better answer.

 

[RockyMtnTactical]

Education

 

[chris in va]

Sometimes you can't, but otherwise it takes a long time. Take my friend for instance. She had a gun held to her head from her previous marriage and was quite leery of guns when I met her. Over the years though, she realized it's just a tool and once she shot a few at the range, decided it was quite fun...especially something user friendly like my 9mm carbine. She *really* got over her fear when all the home invasions and other violent crimes got brought to her attention.

I also know a 'card carrying ACLU' liberal that owns a Ruger that was used in a suicide/murder (she didn't do it). She knows it's just a tool, nothing more and shoots it quite a bit.

 

[CoRoMo]

You can't change anyone, but they can change themselves if there is a desire.

 

[mjkten]

Very good advice across the board. Start with a .22, target close enough to see the first hits, safety first, etc. I am unsure over whether the best hearing protection is plugs and muffs, or the new electronic hearing protection. I think that initially, the ability to hear you calmly instructing and encouraging, without having to raise your voice, is helpful in keeping the learning environment productive. Once the initial fear is gone, and safety messages absorbed, maybe move up to the plugs and muffs, when a larger caliber is to be tried. My daughter likes my .45 Colt 1911, but my wife, who has shot most of her life, doesn't care for it, but the .357 mag is ok...the older women (not teenagers) all seem to like the .22 very much. One of them wanted to buy one for herself right away. Another thought about eye protection. The larger calibers present a pretty good muzzle blast, and that, even with good ear protection, can start someone flinching. I recommend eye protection with as much coverage as possible. You might recall that Doug Koenig wore a modified motorcycle helmet to shoot in the long range portion of the Masters handgun event. I think the explanation is that the muzzle blast accelerates the fatigue factor, even in a championship shooter. Just something to think about before you move someone from a .22 to something a little stouter...and remember, if it's not fun, they wont want to come back.

 

[Hoxviii]

It really is people being afraid of what they do not understand.

My last g/f was scared of guns to the point that she had a panic attack when I had to make a quick stop by the local reloading shop to pick up some powder. She decided to go in.

When she finally calmed down I asked her what had happened and she said, "All I saw when I saw those guns was all of the people they could have killed."

At that point I started asking her about what she knows about guns, and everything she said was just the typical media fed hysteria.

She said she wanted to "Ban Glocks because that's what criminals use and they're dnagerous."

I then explained Glock was just a brand name, nothing more.

She wanted to "ban semi-automatics because they're machine guns"

I then explained fully automatic machine guns have more or less been banned since 1934 and a semi-automatic should be called "self loading" and that you had to squeeze the trigger each and everytime you wanted it to fire.

She also thought that when i was "going shooting" that I was going to be some crazed maniac with a Thompson spraying bullets for the sake of spraying bullets while kicking puppies and stomping kittens.

With this I told her to think of olympic shooting sports, that's more like what i'm doing. slow and precise, not out of control.

she was just very irrational about it all, but after this conversation (it lasted about 2 hours) she started to come around. Not to the point of wanting to head out with me, but to the point of not getting anxious that I was heading out.

Best I could get her to do was handle a .22 bolt action as I went over safety and handling, and my S&W Model 27 and 36.

She was scared to death when I brought out the 1911, to her it was more intimidating looking (which I didn't get- most everyone I know that shoots says the 27 is the most intimidating.)

We broke up shortly thereafter, but for different reasons so I never had a chance to actually get her to the range.

Slow exposure, basic safety, start small and quiet.

 

[Officers'Wife]

Hi Mike, I would have basically presented the argument that if GFF's BF wouldn't hurt her without the firearm what makes her think he would with one. And if he would hurt her without one what in the hell is she doing not giving him his walking papers?

My thoughts are to always concentrate on the people rather than the objects. While I wouldn't trust <insert name of bad guy here> with a child's cap pistol doesn't mean <insert name of trusted friend here> with a handgun or rifle. All the while implying subtly that fear of the firearm is a sign of lack of trust in the person.

 

[seale]

EDIT: duplicate as a result of server errors.

 

[seale]

My girlfriend, daughter and gf's friend were at a restaurant last night and the GF's Friend (from now on GFF) was talking about her boyfriend recently purchased a Ruger GP100 and wouldn't shut up about it.

The gff knew not only the brand but the model too??!!??

Did you ask across the table for his phone number to see if he wanted to go shooting?

 

[seale]

My girlfriend, daughter and gf's friend were at a restaurant last night and the GF's Friend (from now on GFF) was talking about her boyfriend recently purchased a Ruger GP100 and wouldn't shut up about it.

The gff knew not only the brand but the model too??!!??

Did you ask across the table for his phone number to see if he wanted to go shooting?

 

[seale]

Man what is going on with the server today? I hit post and the server didn't respond and left me with a blank screen and a bunch of gibberish in the title of the tab. I opened the thread in a different tab and my post hadn't appeared so I hit post again.

 

[BenReal]

This is really a hard thing to do.

But I find that when they grow up and find out the there are really people on this earth that don't give a flying flazoo whether they "hug the trees or sing to the butterflies" -give me your money and your body "b----"- ,guns don't seem all the evil anymore.

Ask them this.

Someone is trying to take your kid from out of your front yard into a van-what do you do.

Grab a phone or-

Grab YOUR GUN.


Someone is bashing in your elder fathers skull for the fourty dollars he carries in the wallet he's carried since he was a boy.

What should he do?

Grab a phone or-

Pull out his concealed 38 special loaded with +p's and save his own life and possibly prevent himself from being crippled from the attack.


Someone is bashing in your front door saying "open the door now,all we want is your the money now or you are "blanking 'dead"

What do you do?

Grab a phone or-

Grab YOUR GUN.


Your wife is working late.

She goes to her car.

You are not there.

Someone walks up to her and proceeds to try to bash in her skull and take her car and purse and possibly rape her because WHY NOT? NO POLICE AROUND.

What should she do-

Grab Her Phone or-

Pull out her 357 magnum concealed Smith and open a door on his forehead.


Bottom line-life is real.

Real has very bad people in it.

Not many,but they are there.

And THEY PREY on people who are not able to defend themselves.

Children,women and old people.

And sometimes even healthy younger men as well.

Even the biggest,baddest guy can be killed by three guys with baseball bats.

But not if those three baseball bats are met with a loaded revolver or semi auto pistol held by a adult man or woman trained to know how,why and when to use that handgun.

No crime victim DESERVED to be a crime victim.

But you have to live your life ready to defend your life when the time comes.

Grabbing the phone won't help.

 

[BHP FAN]

I took my son,one of his best friends,and his tree-hugging girlfriend to the range with me.The boy's buddy warned me that the GF was not into guns,and came from an anti-gun family,but that he had to go back on fire crew the next week,and they were trying to spend as much time as they could 'doing stuff' together.This is a good kid,grew up for most of his 21 years as one of my son's original kindergarten bunch,all in college now.
So, knowing she had like,zero experience,I grabbed my 10/22,and lever action .38/.357 with me as both are pretty low noise,low recoil affairs.Long story short we got her to shoot both firearms,but she was bored.With a mental shrug,I decided to quit playing rage master,and do what I came there for.I was sighting in my .45-70 Trapdoor.BOOM!All the sudden she perks up'OH'!Can I shoot THAT she says! bang ....clang!she shot my last twelve rounds at the 200yrd. gong,and did not miss once!

 

[bgeddes]

This past summer my wife and I moved my mother in our home. For a lot of reasons it made sense. She is not a gun person, not an ANTI-gun person, more of a lack of knowledge and experience than anything. I do not hide my guns from her in the house. They are cleaned in plain sight, she sees them and knows they are there, and accepts that they are a part of our house. She is starting to understand that I know the laws regarding guns, how to use them, and that I practice as often as possible to maintain skills. She is starting to understand that they are a tool. A mechanical device with a defined purpose. We are making progress.

Friends of ours, VERY good friends, the kind you go on vacation with, had a home invasion incident in their family. Her 70-something year old father had his house broken into by a worthless 20 year old and got beat with a baseball bat. They have no guns, but know I have some. The light is starting to come on with them. They are starting to think that perhaps there is a place and purpose for a firearm.

I hope you can work the first scenario, the second one sucks.