How does one get over almost being killed?

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fantacmet

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The reason I ask in my subject line, I was at work tonight, deliering pizza, and ws robbed and hijacked at gunpoint. Two young black males about 17-21 years of age, pulled what appeared to be a blued S&W .357 revolver(skinny barrel about 4 inches long, very nicely polished blue in good shape, it's funny how that is the thing I got the best description of). I had this gun held against the bag of my head with a finger on the trigger almost the entire 30 miles I was forced to drive them. If my cellphone had gone off I have no doubt they would have shot me, scariest part is, my wife had been calling me half the night, but nobody called, not even my boss during this long time out. I got extremely lucky. The biggest problem is, one of them was sitting on my gun so I couldn't get to it. When they got out, they took my wallet which had no cash in it, they went through my wallet before exiting the truck. They have my drivers license with my current address, and even made the comment they might be paying me a visit. They got my CHL which I carry right behind my drivers license for obvious reasons, so that is confirmation of firearm ownership. I don't know if that will scare them, or entice them. Hopefully it will make them realize they were lucky as all hell not have a new ventilation system installed, and make them get rid of the wallet ASAP. Although considering some of the other absolutely stupid and retarded things they did, I wouldn't count on it. These guys were rediculously stupid.

Anyway, how can one shake this kind of crap? I don't need to dwell on it, all the time everyday like I will end up doing.
 
I can't tell you how to shake it, but I can say to count your blessings, hug your wife, and thank whatever God you pray to you are still alive. If you haven't, contact the authorities to let them know about the threats and all of the above. Glad to hear you made it out okay, and I wish you the best and will be praying for you and your family.
 
Thank God you are alright!
First off. If you don't have a loud dog, get one. Second keep a loaded gun with you and make sure your wife is careful (and has a loaded gun too). I don't know how you can "get over it" You will always remember the experience. The best thing you can do is learn from it and make changes that will hopefully make you safer.
If you are having trouble with this I suggest you see a councilor. I know that it can be hard to do, but getting help when you need it is always a good thing.
I wish I could offer better advice, but I can't. So all I can say is to stay alert and prepared at home and if you are having troubles with it see a professional.
May God be with you.
 
Assuming you filed a police report, you may want ask them what victim services they have available. Since you deliver pizza, I doubt you have very good mental health coverage, but this is the kind of thing you would hit up an EAP for help with. If your employer offers such a thing, you might want to look into it.

Alternatively, if you happen to deliver pizza because are a student, it's very likely you can get free or low cost counseling through school.

You may want to peek at this page as well: http://www.co.multnomah.or.us/dcj/victimservices.shtml
 
Also, if you go to church many offer counseling for free. They often send you to a like minded person, so if you are atheist it might rub you the wrong way rather than help you to seek help. Also many larger communities have support groups that can help. Your wife will hopefully be your best supporter.
 
I've been robbed at gunpoint, it was about 9 years ago, before I was even old enough to CCW. It was scary and all... but I don't really think about it much now. I know God was looking out for me that night.

Now I CCW everywhere I can. It really is a powerless feeling to know that someone else has total control of the situation because he has the deadly weapon (and that person was most likely a crack addict on top of it, maybe high at the time for all I know)... I never want to feel that way again...
 
Sorry to hear about your situation. I would get some professional counseling. But my best advice as an anonymous stranger over the internet is that you weren't killed. And it is very likely that they had no intention of killing you. People get robbed all the time. Few are killed. You will no doubt replay the events many times. Maybe thinking about how you could have gotten your gun. I don't think many folks ever have a positive reaction to having to take another's life. Maybe it ended up OK. Though, I seriously hope they are caught and punished. It seems they will likely end up in prison or dying a violent death. A final thought, who knows how close we all come to dying every day? Maybe a drunk driver just missed you yesterday? You're still here and that is what really matters.
 
Appreciate the replies. I did file a report, but the officrs, didn't do a whole lot, and afterwards, just drove accross te street, parked, and started conversing. I deliver pizza because it pays the few bills I have, gives me a little extra, and gives me money every night with tips. On one delivery awhile back, it was to a real estate company, which is something I have been looking into. I happened to mention it, that I was interested in buying foreclosures and selling them. They asked what I knew I told them, and they gave me a business card and told me to call them whenever I wanted, as they have classes there, and they'd be happy to get me on board. So I'm REALLY tempted to make that phone call tomorrow. It's more money, and definately safer then driving around in the middle of the night to strange houses and bad drug infested apartment complexes. I've seen and smelled some nasty dirty disgusting garbage. The insides of their dwellings were even worse.
 
Aye harvester true. My insurance doesn't cover seeing a counselor of any kind. I already know there is no way I could have gotten to my gun. By the time I woulda had it up, they woulda been gone. Also around here, most pizza guys that get robbed, do get killed. I think I am done with this place though. I was in a similr situation about a month ago, but I had clear openings, and before they could get to the truck I floored it, and took off around the corner and down the street. The bills that are 100% my responsability are completely caught up for almost 2 months.
 
The extent to which you were traumatized by this occurence depends on a lot of factors we most likely can't delve into in this venue. I am a disabled combat vet. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is real. It is insidious and can invade every aspect of your life. Anything from developing tics and tremors, to anger and anxiety, isolation and loss of intimacy. Do not take this lightly, or too seriously. Talk to your wife, and go together to seek professional help. It is just as real to your family and those around you as it is to you.

Please don't brush it aside or "stuff" it away. Don't spend 38 years with it like I have. Get rid of it now while you still can.
 
Sorry to hear about the car jacking.

How did they get the drop on you?

Whenever Im in the car, my hand gun is under my right leg, or resting between the center console and my seat. It does little good out of reach.

Where in portland was this?

-T
 
My deepest condolences on you having to go through this whole ordeal.

All things considered you are a lucky man it could have been much worse thank the powers that be that you came through unharmed physically.

Emotionally and mentally it can take allot to get over having ones life threatened as it makes it harder to trust people.
It usually leads to a whole range of emotions, allow yourself the time and space to get through whatever comes and please do not let fear or hatred take over.

Surround yourself with good people who care and as soon as possible get a safer job.;)

No amount of money is worth your life.

I would talk with those people who are close to you in your life going into whatever level of detail you are comfortable with telling them.

Also I would ask any neighbors or coworkers to be more aware and keep their collective eyes and ears peeled as dumb crooks often do repeat or retribution crimes, CYA and stay alert.

Around your home I would invest in a few cameras and recorders.

If you have a CCW you may want to look at one or two hammerless or shrouded hammer revovlers tucked in a jacket or windbreakers pockets you can fire all the rounds reliably without pulling the pistol out of the pocket.

Allot of the old time cops I knew would carry either a shrouded hammer S&W or Colt .38 keeping their hand on their belt mounted pistol and their weak hand on the hidden pocket pistol while approaching potentially hostile situations or doing vehicle stops especially in bad neighborhoods or at night,

A good level II vest would also be a good thing to look into.

As a side note or point of interest the inventor of Second Chance bullet proof vests went through exactly what you did he used to deliver pizzas and was robbed by IIRC 3 perpetrators his only defense was a cheap .22 revolver.
He succeeded in fighting off his attackers in the ensuing gun battle wounding two IIRC.

His incident helped inspire him to develop what was to become one of the best lifesavers for those going in harms way the Kevlar vest so common today.

Sorry for the long post, I wish you the very best please take care and stay safe!
 
That is life, it will make you paranoid or cautious however you want to look at it.

Good reminder to keep your weapon a little more handy. No solution is perfect though, so becoming a bit more paranoid or "situationaly aware" is going to be the best thing to come from it.

It is scary, but think of it this way. How many times have you almost been killed while driving down the road by another driver? Probably more than you know. Life can be short, and you never know how long it is going to be for you. So let it make you appreciate the days a little more.

Don't dwell on it too much.
The guys were probably full of it and not going to pay you a visit. In case they were not be prepared, but you should be anyways. It is also a good lesson in how quick you would have had to react if you had your weapon available. Rethink all the moments and when you might have been able to act had you had your weapon. The earlier in the situation the better because you are less likely to be disarmed at that point.
I think you will come to the conclusion that the best way would have been by being a bit more aware of them and thier actions prior to seeing the gun pointed at you.

The downside is being extremely aware all the time is very exhausting, and will make every call and walk to and from your vehicle, standing at doors etc a lot more work than you have come to expect and feel comfortable with. Perhaps a new line of work is in order if you do not like that change.
Scan 360 often, have a bubble of personal space you are keenly aware if anyone enters, which grows larger or smaller depending on locational risk. Stand in spots that give you more reaction time when confronted with something unexpected, like to the side of doors while you wait, not in front of them. Be aware of windows while doing so. Keep vehicles or other things between you and others in relatively empty parking lots while walking back to your vehicle in apartment complexes etc. There is many things you can do that will give you more reaction time, and make others a lot more obvious if they are trying to close that distance to reach you. Be aware when thresholds like doorways. Anytime someone goes from having an obstacle between them and you to being in open line of sight its a threshold, your reaction time to them just diminished, so be aware of them.
Like I said it will be mentaly trying, and if it is too much then you need to find a new line of work. That is unless you can be comfortable going back to a more carefree but vulnerable demeanor.
The smart living front line soldiers in Iraq become just that way while being ever vigilant watching for potential suicide bombers and other threats. Of course they can have trouble turning it off when they come home. In civilian life that becomes PTSD, but in the field it is good survival skills.
After awhile though it can become second nature and you can turn it off and on. It is an invaluable skill in bad areas.
 
Learn from it! Any life experience that we can learn from and rethink how we might do things better/differently will better prepare you.

Scary and an eye opener for sure but I'll bet after the newness of it softens a bit, you will be better for it. (Better prepared, aware, or whatever). Glad you made it through unscathed.
 
i'm sorry you had to go through that.

hopefully, the memories won't be so traumatic and the perps are caught ASAP.

hopefully, a learning experience. your post was such for me.
 
I don't think one ever gets over a traumatic event such as you describe. For
example, my wife was car-jacked back in Oct. of '94 and a handgun was placed
to her head; with the threat of violence, if she did not hand over her car keys.
Even though the perp failed to execute his threat's, he made off with the entire
car and all of its contents. To this very day, my wife relives the horrors of that
day; when the Good Lord spared her.
 
First, you're not a victim, you're a survivor.

Second, if you work for a large chain, there may be counseling avaialable outside of your health insurance. Pizza guys get held up constantly, because its easy to get all y'all to come to the perp, and you generally carry cash.

I hope you've mentioned this to your supervisor.
 
A few years ago in a military 'peacekeeping' situation I was part of a team searching homes. I was on security outside the home being currently searched and was not as alert as I should have been. An armed man bolted out of the front door of the home being searched and ran RIGHT PAST ME, within 3 feet or so, without shooting me as I fumbled to get my act together.

I don't know if he was scared or what; in the subsequent yelling and shooting he went down and I didn't.

I have thought of this incident almost daily and certainly weekly since it happened. It's one of the most vivid memories of my life, as if it had happened yesterday. I have dreamed about it and even daydreamed.

You won't ever forget the robbery, but you can't let it dictate the way you live your life.

Best,

jw
 
How does one get over almost being killed?
Click to expand...

1) Time.
2) Counseling, if you find yourself having problems coping.

I haven't come close to getting killed AFAIK. I have been hurt badly (think concussions, broken bones, and hospitalizations) and come close to being crippled (broken back) in falls off of horses. You've heard the old axiom "if you fall off a horse you have to get right back on". In theory that's to teach the horse that tossing the rider won't get him out of work; in practice it's to teach the rider that while yes, you fell off, you can get past it and move on. It's when you can't get back on because you're in the back of an ambulance on the way to the ER that your brain starts playing some nasty tricks on you.

Since this incident just happened expect to feel shaky about it for a while - that's normal. Also, don't let anyone tell you to "just get over it", or make you think that you're some sort of wimp if you can't put it past you without professional help.

FWIW I'd be looking for a new job. Some horses aren't worth re-mounting...
 
Don't dwell on what could have happened to you. Think about what did happen, if that makes sense. Then think about how you can stop it from happening again.

Sounds easy, but it took me damn near 15 years to figure that one out.
 
Kiss your wife, call your mom, dad, brothers, & sisters and tell them you love them.

Contact every pizzeria within 10-15 miles of the delivery address. Go down in person, and speak to the owner or manager. Tell them what happened, how it happened, etc and ask them to remind their drivers to be a bit more vigilant.

If it's in the budget, look into a Kel-Tec P3AT or maybe a 642 if you have big enough pockets.
 
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