How gun magazines write articles...

[Preacherman]

Thanks to Lyman Lyon of the API List for permission to reproduce his example of how gun articles are written.

Instruction From The Editor To The Journalist:

Frangible Arms just bought a four page color ad in our next issue. They sent us their latest offering, the CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer. I told Fred to take it out to the range to test. He'll have the data for you tomorrow.


Feedback From Technician Fred:

The pistol is a crude copy of the World War II Japanese Nambu type 14 pistol, except it's made from unfinished zinc castings. The grips are pressed cardboard. The barrel is unrifled pipe. There are file marks all over the gun, inside and out.

Only 10 rounds of 8mm ammunition were supplied. Based on previous experience with a genuine Nambu, I set up a target two feet down range. I managed to cram four rounds in the magazine and one in the chamber. I taped the magazine in place, bolted the pistol into a machine rest, got behind a barricade, and pulled the trigger with 20 feet of 550 cord. I was unable to measure the trigger pull because my fish scale tops out at 32 pounds. On the third try, the pistol fired. From outline of the holes, I think the barrel, frame, magazine, trigger and recoil spring blew through the target. The remaining parts scattered over the landscape.

I sent the machine rest back to the factory to see if they can fix it, and we need to replace the shooting bench for the nice people who own the range. I'll be off for the rest of the day. My ears are still ringing. I need a drink.


Article Produced By The Journalist:

The CQB MK-V Tactical Destroyer is arguably the deadliest pistol in the world. Based on a combat proven military design, but constructed almost entirely of space age alloy, it features a remarkable barrel design engineered to produce a cone of fire, a feature much valued by Special Forces world wide. The Destroyer shows clear evidence of extensive hand fitting. The weapon disassembles rapidly without tools. At a reasonable combat distance, I put five holes in the target faster than I would have thought possible. This is the pistol to have if you want to end a gunfight at all costs. The gun is a keeper, and I find myself unable to send it back.

 

[Bullet Bob]

Thanks, I needed a laugh tonight.

 

[Third_Rail]

Hahaha, very funny "article"...

 

[ZeroX]

Ba-ZING!

 

[jsalcedo]

Ooooh I want one!

 

[1911Ron]

So what magazine did you find that article in. Does it have night sites and front slide serrations

 

[Old Dog]

Classic!

Reads just like the cover feature article of every issue of "Handguns."

 

[Standing Wolf]

How come the price isn't listed? No web site? How can I get one of these über-tactical technological marvels?

 

[Moparmike]

That was better than a Lawdog story...

Ow. My face hurts from laughing so much.

 

[Lt. G]

A SCREAM !!!! Thanx

 

[fistful]

Not funny. I own five Frangible Mark V Tactical Destroyers, and they are all fine weapons. Each one reliably made single hole groups, right out of the box. In fact, I left them in the boxes and threw them at the target - one very big hole. I have carried one or the other of them for the last two years, and I feel confident and safe when doing so. I hope to fire them some day - bet that there would be fun!

 

[The_Antibubba]

Only one thing missing

8mm ammunition

For real authenticity, the gun would be chambered for 45 ACP, function like a Colt 1911, and cost at least $3100!

 

[JuniorG]

Sounds about right.

 

[MP5]

That could have been lifted right out of American Handgunner. That's why I mostly just read the magazines for the ads, to know what's out there atm. Come to think of it, most of the articles essentially are ads.

 

[stevelyn]

That brought tears to my eyes.

 

[juggler]

Thanks for the laugh. So close to the truth that it's downright hilarious

 

[BigG]

I would say the same methodology applies to most news stories.

 

[ArmandTanzarian]

Whew howdy, mercy me, tears they are a-runnin'. Funniest damn thing I've read in a long time!

 

[EddieCoyle]

That was funny, I don't care who you are.

 

['Card]

I am amused.

 

[Don't Tread On Me]

Ha, precisely why internet gun forums have rendered gun magazines obsolete.

While there is some seriously bad information on forums, idiot posters, massive BS, myths, lies, and downright exaggerations...there's also some 100% truth and expert advice from 1st hand experience.

The key is, learning to separate the bull from the good stuff. I think I do a pretty good job of that when I am researching what to buy. It is more of an art, than a science. You can tell who's a fan boy of a brand, who's regurgitating inexperienced info, who's really into something or just throwing around $0.02 just from the tone of some posts or the posting habits of some people. You can also gain an idea from the general concensus of opinions.


You can't do that from a magazine. It is whatever you think/analyze vs. what the gun writer spoon feeds you. Without a doubt, most articles are far too favorable due to the manufacturer advertising or paying for a postive article. This is a conflict of interest. Gun rags are pretty much only good for being gun porn. Look at pictures, skip the articles. Heck, some picture threads on the net are far superior to what's in a gun magazine.


I admit, when going to a new forum, or researching something I have little knowledge of, it can be VERY difficult early on figuring out what's up. But that beats just being told how great/wonderful something is from an advertisement article.

 

[CAS700850]

I will agree that, since I started here at THR, and spending time on the Internet (Thanks to some neighbor for the free wireless connection), I haven't bought a gun magazine in months. Sad part of this is that I had some hopes of maybe writing some articles and picking up some side cash so I can buy more guns.

 

[mondocomputerman]

That's funny! Thanks for sharing.

 

[Rexrider]

Too Funny

And perhaps all too true.

The weapon disassembles rapidly without tools.

That is the line were I went from amused to ROFL.

Thanks Preacherman

 

[Standing Wolf]

Outstanding!