How many of you have bought rifles w/o telling your wife...?

[SilentStalker]

I am just curious. I want to add to the collection if you know what I mean and my wife does not despise firearms but she doesn't like me spending the money on them. The deal is I have just recently got into it and love it. I do not go hunting but I have a huge desire to learn, better myself, learn how to defend myself even better if need be, shoot a lot at the range, etc. This has become somewhat of a hobby, again. I used to be into a few other hobbies but about a year or so ago photography and shooting have become my two main ones giving up pretty much all of the others for these two. Now I still do not get to do either one as much as I would like, but who does? Anyways I have purchased a few things since I got hooked and have not bought anything in quite some time. However, I want to get some more stuff ASAP, but am having trouble finding anything such as a AR, AK, etc. So, for now I will have to wait until the demand goes down to purchase any of those. This brings me back to my point in posting this. I have found a long range rifle that I have wanted for quite some time, it is used, but in excellent shape and is one heck of a deal. Again, I have not bought anything in q long time but my wife does not seem to think I need anything else, but I have been wanting one of these rifles for a long time and now have the opportunity to buy one. So, should I just buy it and not say anything or should I talk to her about it first knowing that she will only shoot the idea down? How can I justify buying a long range rifle when as she says, "I don't hunt, so why do I need one?"

 

[glockman19]

Don't we all?

 

[P-32]

I bought a couple of rifles without telling the wife. Last one was a CMP HRA correct grade M-1. That is a very nice M-1 my friend and was glad to add it the Springers I have. But unlike most wives, mine allows me to keep my over time so my hobby purchases won't affect the house hold budget. My wife still keeps count and complains I have some I don't even shoot. I don't shoot a pre 64 mdl 70 in 300 H&H very often. The rifle is about 98% and has never had a scope on it.

 

[Float Pilot]

And I would want to put this into writing...why....???

 

[Golden Hound]

Why do men look at things like this in terms of your wife "allowing" you to do this or that? It's your life and it's your money. You can buy whatever you want and you don't need to feel guilty about it! As long as you're providing for your family you have the right to treat yourself to whatever luxuries you want. It's one of the little benefits of, you know, like, having free will.

 

[ModificationVt]

my fiancee (4 months away from being my wife) couldn't tell you the difference between my Mosin Nagant and my NHM-91 lol...so when I find myself with a little extra money it is no trouble bringing an extra toy into the house. recently because of the upcoming wedding and push to get out of apartment living and into a house My money and Her money has become Our money as we build up Our savings...so gun purchases are more on the back burner for me...so I think buying yourself a gun is fine as long as you don't turn around and ask her to pickup the entire next grocery bill because you are out of money.

 

[provence]

Actual conversation at my house

Wife: "Just how many guns do you have?"

Husband: "Uh. . ."

Wife: "I don't want to know, do I?"

Husband: "No you don't."

 

[jackdanson]

My wife and I have seperate but equal "spending money" budgeted into our finances. She uses hers for shoes, makeup, electronics, and other girly stuff. I save mine for whatever I want. (oh yeah, any time we go out to eat we use MY spending money, not hers!! doh!)

I've had people knock this system (OHH, it is both of your money, you should be able to share, blahblah) but it works extremely well for us. We made out a budget with income, bills, and savings. Whatever is left over is divided between the two of us... it's pretty simple. Might get more complex when kids come along.

I would never lie about it. That is a pansy manuever, you're a man, buy what you want. That being said you shouldn't be irresponsible with your money or build up debt just to get what you want.

 

[expvideo]

I don't lie to my girlfriend of 2.5 years. I don't withhold information either. She's also very understanding and doesn't have a problem with me buying guns, since it's my money. She would appreciate me coming up with some BS justification for why I "need" it, but I think it's just because she likes to make fun of my reasoning. She doesn't really care too much. She likes to shoot them anyway. Usually I can get away with "I wanted it", but getting away with gun purchases is kind of a game, so she keeps it fun. When it really comes down to it, she doesn't care what I spend my money on as long as I can still take her out to dinner once in a while and pay my bills. Doesn't mean I'm not going to get a hard time for it, but it's all in good fun.

My dad keeps his gun purchases secret from my mom, but that's because they don't have as disposable of an income as I do as a young guy without kids. He lives by the philosophy of "it's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission". I don't agree, but he doesn't question my methods and I don't question his. And besides, we like to give eachother guns, so I'm not going to criticize how he goes about attaining them.

Anyway

 

[Ignition Override]

Mod. Vt:

My wife of 14 years doesn't know a Mosin from an SKS from a Mini 30.
My first gun purchase was in Oct '07 and only used the .22 about three times in previous 23 years. Quite true.

If they get a bit flustered when you buy a 2nd or even 5th gun (and can afford it), tell them exactly what I told mine: "Many guys often spend more on titty bars and casinos with nothing to show for it". She had no resonse to that, and I stated that:
1) "Guns are fun,
2) they can protect us and
3) although women can't really sell their extra purses shoes for anything....we can sell these for near the purchase cost if we are patient".
All of this is repetitive but 100% accurate.

Pardon the switch, but how many of you have shipped Ammo to another house so that she would not know?

 

[CB900F]

Silent;

It's not an issue in my home. The bills get paid, there's money for extras like dining out and other extras too. So whatever I spend on my hobbies is my business & vice-versa.

How many pairs of shoes does she have? Can she wear more than one pair at a time? Purses? You can think of more, I know ya can. It needn't blow up into an argument if the logic is presented properly.

900F

 

[Clipper]

I once bought a Remington nylon 77 for $125.00 without talking to her first as I otherwise always do, but that was no problem (I knew it wouldn't be, anyway). Anyway, We were at Williams Gunsight's store the other day, when a beautiful custom FN Mauser sporter in .257 AI sorta jumped into my hands and whispered in my ear. She smiled and said "Go for it"...Gotta love that woman.

 

[dakotasin]

i rarely tell my wife about my gun purchases.

she doesn't care, anymore. as long as the mortgage is paid and the kids have food on the table (and much of that food is provided by a gun) she doesn't say anything.

we recently moved which required me to clear out my gun room and pack everything away. moved into the new house, and i ended up having to take one room for the guns and one room for the reloading stuff in our new house. after i got the press mounted and all my reloading stuff put away, she looked around and said 'i guess you do have a lot of guns, and probably a lot of money in dies...?'

me: 'oh, look... i've been looking for that ar!'

her: -shrug-

life goes on... so i don't lie to her about the gun-related expenses, but don't feel compelled to ask permission to spend my money. i know what our bills are and what our financial situation is. if i decide i can bring another gun in, it is my problem, not hers.

the only recent problem we have is she said i need another safe. i know she's right, but a safe isn't much fun to buy - guns are. at any rate, she has demanded no more 'rifles' until we get another safe. i noted the lack of coverage for handguns, and have been on a handgun tear recently...

can't tell you how to operate your life w/ your wife, but that's how things run in my house (and it is, truly, my house).

 

[KC0QGL]

The last gun I bought with out my wife knowing was the M44 I got her for her 25th Birthday. She really liked mine and wanted one of her own.

 

[CajunBass]

I may have bought one that I didn't "ask" her about, but I don't recall ever buying one I didn't tell her about sooner or later. It would be pretty hard for me to hide it, since she goes to the gun shop with me most of the time. "OH!! GET THIS ONE!!"

She did that Friday night with a Ruger Single Six, 50th Anniversary I was looking at.

She can be so annoying at times. I was trying to convince the guy I didn't want it, hoping he'd come off the price some.

Seriously, lieing to your wife is not a good idea. If you're man enough to get it and not ask her, be man enough to tell her what you did. Once she finds out you lied about one thing she's going to start wondering, with good cause, if you'd lie about something else.

Take it from one with experience.

 

[Bill2e]

Stop kidding your self guys, I go through this with my fishing buddies too.

They have more money tied up in Shoes, Handbags, Cloths & makeup than we to in Firearms & fishing gear.

 

[panrobercik]

I got some guns without telling, but she's not an idiot and eventually I had to tell her. The only problem she ever had with it was that I didn't tell her right away. Now I just get what I want and tell her I had to have it and she gets over it the same day. Her main concern is that I wouldn't buy more than I can fit in the safes so when she sees me selling something ,she knows something will be replacing it soon.
The money in the house are "ours" but I'm the one that has to make sure there is enough for mortgages and food.

 

[John828]

If you really want to omit the truth, "go to the range" with three or four gun cases, but with only two or three guns. When you come home, make sure all cases are full.

Not saying I have ever done it, but the empty case out, full case in method works.

 

[czhen]

shhhhhhhhhhhh.
wifes around, reading.

 

[MD_Willington]

I have never done this, my wife knows of all firearms purchases, that way she knows what they are and how to use them when I am away at work...

 

[John828]

Stop kidding your self guys, I go through this with my fishing buddies too.

They have more money tied up in Shoes, Handbags, Cloths & makeup than we to in Firearms & fishing gear.

hmmmmm....maybe, maybe not.

Let's do the math. (Numbers inflated to help the woman's cause)

6 purses @ $100 avg = $600
10 pairs of shoes @ $100 avg = $1000
1 year of make-up = $1000
20 clothes outfits = $2000

$4,600 for a year. These were all PFA numbers, but I'd say depending on your shooting habits and purchasing habits, we got them beat. Besides all I have to do to look good with a gun is pick it up and holster it.

 

[winchester243]

I've never sacrificed the family finances with my hobby. When we were young, poor and had 3 kids in diapers I got by with my .270, 12ga and .22 for years.

All our family needs are taken care of first, I owe less on my mortgage than many people spend on new cars, and have no credit card nor vehicle debt and I've religiously put 10% of my income away for the last 20 years for retirement.

The Mrs. may not understand why I need so many guns and gun related stuff BUT there is no argument from her as to why we can't afford them. I also never, never give her grief on her purchases that I don't think she needs. Do I immediately tell her about every gun purchase I make? No. Does she tell immediately about every purchase she makes? No. Works for us, especially being that neither of us goes overboard and puts a crimp in our monthly budget.

 

[Coronach]

Why do men look at things like this in terms of your wife "allowing" you to do this or that? It's your life and it's your money. You can buy whatever you want and you don't need to feel guilty about it! As long as you're providing for your family you have the right to treat yourself to whatever luxuries you want. It's one of the little benefits of, you know, like, having free will.

The problem with this logic is that you're married, and neither you nor your wife have the right to indebt the whole family unilaterally, and unless you have all of your debt paid off (including the mortgage), any money you spend on guns (or purses) is money you could have spent reducing your debt, or saving for retirement. Everything you do, money-wise, has an impact on the financial health of the whole family.

Now, I'm obviously not saying that wives shouldn't buy purses and men shouldn't buy guns (my wife and I have plenty of both), nor am I saying that you need to approve each purchase with the other (because believe me, we don't). All you need to do is just have a portion of the family income that is "yours" and a portion that is "hers". Don't worry how she spends her money, and don't care what she thinks about how you spend yours. Just don't spend "family" money on your toys. The key is to getting both of you to agree about how much money is set aside for each of you, and sticking to it. Of course, if you both agree that you can do whatever you want with "family" money and that setting up an allowance system for both of you is silly, that's fine, too, but it begs the question of why you don't tell your spouse what you're doing with the money.

Getting back to the OP, I can't say that I've ever told my wife I bought a rifle. Since I have an allowance of sorts (as described above), I spend my allowance on what I want. She's never informed me of her intent to purchase a Coach handbag, either.

Mike

 

[expvideo]

Why do men look at things like this in terms of your wife "allowing" you to do this or that? It's your life and it's your money. You can buy whatever you want and you don't need to feel guilty about it! As long as you're providing for your family you have the right to treat yourself to whatever luxuries you want. It's one of the little benefits of, you know, like, having free will.

When you share finances, you should be honest with eachother about where large amounts of those finances are going. If you both have your "fun" accounts, then cool. Otherwise, you should be "getting permission" before you go out and spend money that may be needed for shared expenses unless you have a much larger income than you spend each month.

If I was married and sharing expenses and the wife went out and spent $800 without letting me know, I'd be pretty upset.

 

[H2O MAN]

How many of you have bought rifles w/o telling your wife...?

I involve my fiancee in every firearm purchase I make... the last 3 purchases have been claimed by her for her own enjoyment.
In return, she involves me in all of her extracurricular purchases... Domestic tranquility is a wonderful thing