Some thoughts from another BTDT kinda guy...
1. Discuss sleep meds with your doc. Long term use is generally not a good idea, they can become addictive (not saying you are... just beware).
2. Call your Military Family Life Coordinator (MFLC). You should be able to get the number from your commander or first sergeant, or militay onesource (or, pm me, and I'll find the number for your local one). MFLCs are trained therapists (with all the requisite papers) who can talk to you one on one, with complete privacy and no trail of having seen a mental health provider if you're worried about that stigma. You can have up to 6 free anonymous sessions, and more if the clinician deems it necessary.
3. Talk with your wife about your trauma. She's your wife, she needs to be involved and know what's going through your head, regardless of whether either of you two like it or not. She can probably help avert issues in the future before they arise if she understands your triggers. This will speed the recovery process, so both of you will be happier sooner too.
4. Consider calling your base's mental health providers or family advocacy office for a PTSD referral and evaluation. It's a medical condition and can be treated (even without using meds). Ignoring it won't necessarily solve it. Broken bones heal on their own over time, but would you seriously consider not getting medical attention to ensure proper and faster bone healing? Same applies with the brain, it's an organ just like other body parts.
BTW, I'm an AF officer, currently in command of a 200 person squadron, and I understand the hesitancy of people to reach out for help (I got schwacked by a rocket back in '07 during the surge). Some folks are afraid of losing clearances, others of potential impacts to carrying weapons. Don't be afraid to get help if you need it. Once the docs get you past the PTSD problem they'll likely close the file and your life will continue like nothing ever happened. As a commander I don't take any negative actions for PTSD unless the member, family, or docs are seriously afraid of something bad happening. Most often my response is "great, I'm glad you self-ID'd so you can solve this... now go work on it and let me know how it goes... in the meantime I'm not doing anything to hinder you or your career so don't worry about it." Please take care of yourself. You've laid your life on the line for us, and we owe it to you to help you get past this. Good luck, brother!
Gary