I need Solace, Support or Reprimanding...

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I have a phrase that I've used once in my life, to very good effect. I would have been most tempted to use it again in your situation.

You threaten me, and you're crazy. You threaten my family, then I'm crazy.

As for the way you handled it, I see nothing wrong, you reacted with the protection of your child in mind. His accusation was uncalled for, and his threat was further uncalled for, and HE was in the wrong, not you.
 
"Try it and see what happens."
-or-
"If I needed the opinion of a moron I would have solicited yours."
Mention of >shudder< "gun violence" may not be the best choice.
 
It's easy for all of us to second guess with the advantage of time and the fact that we weren't there.

I think you did fine. The person who challenged you stepped out of line and deserved to be knocked back to their lane.

I'm a father of two (9 and 6) so I have some understanding of your situation...:fire:
 
respnse.

Responding with agression only vindicates him. Use distraction and turn the situation on him.

It would be more infuriating to respond calmly : " I appreciate your concern about a child. If I felt that you could have accomplished what you stated, I would not have even responded to you."

Then turn the screw by noting: "However in the same spirit of giving gratuituous advice, I would remind you that you know nothing about me. Taunting strangers in public is foolish and may lead to your harm. My advice to you is to be careful whom you verbally assalt. Therefore, I have no problem in telling you to mind your own business for your own well being."
:D

Then walk away while he sputters and faces a few home truths. In the meanwhile you should face the truth that you responded as you did because you had felt a little fear for your child and were in process of justifying it to yourself.
 
"Yeah, thanks, you're right. Gotta watch them little devils, doncha?"

It's called de-escalation. Useful whether you're in the right or not.

You don't have to pick up the gauntlet.

Don't think you should have talked about where you would have plunked him.
 
Yeah, I think you screwed up. Not that I would have done better, but you shouldn't have mentioned the gun. Concealed means concealed, and that means not telling people you have a gun until they are threatening your life.

I heard this great phrase to use in these situations. "Thank you for sharing that."

Old guy: Shame on you for letting your son think you abandoned him. Anyone could have walked off with him and you'd never know it!
You: Thank you for sharing that.

You don't have to win every argument.
 
In retail, we see a lost child every now and then. I was one of those kids who knew where the toy sections were in every store and would run off to make the employees work harder until my mom found me ten minutes later or so. Alas, that was the early 80's and kids running off is more dangerous now than ever. When one gets lost, they are usually upset and tend to think twice before running off again. There was one time when a kid was intentionally hiding from his mom (the kid was old enough to know better). We finally located him in a restroom, talked with the mom, and at her bidding, made to scare the kid straight. The manager set about informing the kid that hiding from his parents in a retail store is a serious matter, and that we'd have to call the police in to sort things out. I watched (barely keeping a straight face) as he nearly wet his pants in fear of being in trouble and started to bawl. Finally his mom (who was watching from around the corner) came over and everything was likely better from then on.

I know it's a bit long winded method of saying it, but sometimes to teach a kid, tough love has to be metted out. The guy had a civil duty to be concerned at a kid running around seemingly unsupervised, but you were in control and keeping tabs, so there was no real danger. He had no right to yell at you for it. Keeping your cool should be first priority when carrying, as the others above have stated, any confrontation that leads to police intervention could be bad for you. Consider it a lesson learned and work to do better.
 
Also think you screwed up by mentioning gun violence. Would you rather your son see you as a secure, calm, and composed person or an insecure hot-head? In situations like this I like short, simple responses like “You are annoying; shoo.” That being said, your actual response puts a smile on my face.
 
How many of us have seen an unsupervised child and wondered, "Where are your parents?" Of course we never followed through.

I would have responded with a decidedly less friendly, low road and colorful version of, "Mind your own business."
 
You screwed up but it happens. Odds are you'll never see the old do gooder again and he's probably telling someone else what they should be doing already.

I agree with 230RN de-escalation is usually the best course of action. In alot of cases I'll go with yeah you are right and act like I care when I don't to avoid a pointless conflict. Now had this cat acted on his statement of grabbing the kid --Three in the head you know they are dead! Zero tolerance for those that hurt kids here-- I could never be a cop first child abuse call I'd terminate the abuser with very extreme prejudice then I'd be in jail.
 
Probably could have been handled better. It sounds like he came at you pretty aggresively though, and you reacted to that as well as his accusation. I can't say for certain that I would have reacted any better than you did under the circumstances. Don't lose any sleep over it.
 
Hmmm...

Jackass: "He was far enough away that I could have taken him."

Me: "What did you say?"

Jackass: "I said, I could have taken him."

Me, opening my cell phone, dialing, and placing it to my ear: "Hello? Yeah, I need to report a crime. There's a guy here threatening to kidnap my 4-year-old son. I'm at 123 Wherever St. at a book store. 5 minutes? Thanks."

Jackass: "What? Wait... I..."

Me: "I suggest you hit the bricks, bud. You're about to have a bad day."

There's what I'd probably do. I'm not even joking. People who feel the need to get up in your business are usually counting on you not snapping back to put them in their place. It's a game of chicken, really. And I'll win (within reasonable legal measures, of course).

As a side note... mentioning a gun was probably a pretty bad idea. They don't call it concealed carry for nothing.


-T.
 
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"He said to me that it was far enough the "he" could have picked him up and walked out the door with him"

"And that, sir, would have been the final act of your life", instead of mentioning the gun specifically. You would have gotten your point across.

"What are you some big shot Rambo?"

"Why yes..............I am."
I'll bet that would have shut him up.

Thernlund has a great idea there, but I think most people would be too angry to think of something like that on the spur of the moment.

But, hindsight is 20/20. You did OK. :cool:
 
No blood, no foul. You've just had the pleasure of what we call a "learning experience". You learned something about yourself and how you react under pressure. Absorb the lesson, adjust, and move on. ;)
 
He said to me that it was far enough the "he" could have picked him up and walked out the door with him before I knew it.
Click to expand...

There's something about that type of attitude that brings out the green-fanged wolf in EVERY parent.

Maybe I'm kinda flawed, but I see absolutely NOTHING wrong in what the OP said to Mr. Idiot.

Me? I probably would not have told the guy that I would have shot him--and I don't fault the OP for saying it. What I probably would have done is advised the idiot that he was a hair away from me putting my boot in his a**, stretching out sideways, pitching a tent and building a campfire. I would have further advised this maggot that he would rather wrestle a Bengal tiger while wearing pork-chop drawers before he even THOUGHT about coming near my child.

I'm sorry, but here's my take on it: You can mess with me and treat me discourteously; I'll probably shrug and walk away. When my family enters into the picture, sorry--all bets and politeness get turned off, and if the person initiating this garbage steps too far, the effect will resemble a buzzsaw at high speed chewing into wet wood. It WON'T be pretty.
 
I have found

that just asking them "what" when they repeat them selves say "huh, what"
bugs busybodies, I also have lots of smart alec remarks that I keep in mind for all occasions.

and when ever you hear the "rambo" assertion, just yell "they drew first blood, not me"
 
I hate to say but, I would have said that or worse to the meddling person.

I do like the idea of calling the cops on the old fart. Except I would not tell him to beat feet. I would inform him he needs to stay right here and make no fast or overt movements.

I can be not so nice when people go messing with my children (8 and 11). I totaly understand what you were doing and that you were in total control at all times. (GOOD JOB).

Me it would have been more like this:

Jerk Off: "He was far enough away that I could have taken him."
Me: WHAT you have to be kidding me. You are going to take my child? You could not outrun a slug let alone a pissed off dad.
Jerk Off: "You were not watching your kids I could have taken him"
Me: Piss off you panty waste old fart and stay the f out of my business.
Jerk Off: WHAT :what:
Me: You heard me F Face now back off before I call the coppers and tell them you are a violent pedophile who just threatened my child.
Jerk Off: Go ahead.
Me: Diling 911, Hello yes I have a man here (Give discription) who is threating to kidnap and rape my young child I am in fear for my childs life, if he makes a movement towards him I will use what ever force nessisary to stop him.

Jerk Off: :what::eek: I said no such thing.
Me: Well we will just have to let the judge decide that.
Me: Yelling at the top of my lungs "You Pervert Security Security"
Me: A big smile of satifaction :evil: as they stuff this busy boddy in to a cop car.

Now before you all go off on me That is the main reason I do not carry a CCW gun right now. I know even at 30 I am not quite ready yet. I still need to cool my jets a little. Or I would have said something along the lines of I can hit a squrriel at 295 Yrads So what makes you think You would ever be safe? I am sure I could hit you at at least 600. So if you want to take my child go right on ahead I hope you have to coffin already picked out.

I had a long hard battle to get my kids I am not going to give them up to easy. Even if they are being a pill. You better believe the police could not get to some pervert quick enough if they ever hurt my child he would have ended his life. Commited suscide by shooting himself in the back 24 times with a 45acp. Worst case of sucide I have ever seen.
 
There are a few things going on here, one of which has not been mentioned, except by you in passing. While you wrote that you could see the boy, perhaps he was just a bit too far for your own comfort, and maybe you are felling a little remorse that there was some truth to the old guy's admonition, whether or not it was his place to speak out. I was not there and I am not you, so I do not know. It is just a thought.

Regardless, he made an implicit threat to take your child. That calls for manly action of some sort. You can be firm without escalating, but even in some cases it is necessary to escalate. I will probably be jumped on by the nanny set here, but who cares? A firm look in the eye can be considered escalation from some here, but sometimes you need to do it to prevent appearing weak and defenseless. A strongly worded question, even loud in volume is in order:

"How is this any of your business?"

"Did you just threaten to abduct my child!?!" -loud, will probably draw attention and scare him off.

I would never threaten with a gun, much less a caliber. If the cops would arrive, and you have described your piece, then there is going to be more trouble for you than it is worth, and the guy who started the trouble is going to walk away free and feeling vindicated. But as others have said, turn the tables and put the onus on him, as he has threatened harm to your child.

You did exactly that, and you know what? So what? People have arrived to tell you the error of your ways, and how wrong you are, and maybe there is some truth to that, but you survived, you are not in jail, and you have the luxury of hindsight to help you consider how to act in the next situation. Don't let the nannies wear you down.

Don't be afraid to stick up for your child and for yourself, but next time think about sticking closer. You never know who might be working as a team to snatch a child. And just because you seem him disappearing through the crowd doesn't mean you will catch him in time.
 
Sounds like you need to work a little on the temper, but that guy was a jerk. Shrug it off. You obviously learned something from the encounter. People should mind their own business more.
 
When you carry a gun, it is to protect yourself and your loved ones. No one else needs to know it, certainly not by you announcing it to the world as you did. When you said what you did, this guy had no idea if you're a law abiding citizen or a thug. This very well could have back fired on you in a big way had he called the cops.

You need to learn to deescalate the situation. Petty comments from an old man is not worth you losing your license/permit over. You lose your license, you've lost a large part of your ability to protect your child. It had been better to have just walked away, or thanked him for his concern, have a nice day sir.

He had no right to say what he did! But a lot of people like to stick their noses where they don't belong. He wasn't worth getting yourself in a dander. Rack this up to a learning experience and never ever again expose the fact to a stranger that you carry a gun, unless you've cleared leather and are willing to use it.
 
well, FWIW, my kneejerk reaction is usually a gentle admonishment.

like "****" or "GTFOoH" or something like that.

:evil:

seriously, don't mention anything about firearms if you don't absolutely have to.

CCW'ers are held to a fairly high standard of conduct.

If anything, while I'm carrying, I usually find myself biting my tongue more than usual.

Try to keep it cool as a cucumber - sometimes hard to do when you feel like yelling at someone.

You should also be aware that having a verbal confrontation with a grumpy old fart can get unwanted attention from LEO's inasmuch as assault of said GOF's sometimes carry stiffer penalties (check your state laws).
 
I'll have to admit, I let my parental protection instincts get the better of me when I read this and posted my earlier comments......man was I mad!
Now that i think about it....I don't think there's anything wrong with, after Mr.creepy McWindbag stated, I could have taken your child." (or words to that effect) calmly reply, "Oh, really?" then just start yelling, " Pedophile! Pedophile!, Look everybody a pedophile!" pointing at him the whole time. Man, just to see the look on his face would be priceless! I'd be laughing all the way home and from then on every time he went to that store or when anyone present saw him from then on, they'd remember and either laugh or be a little more alert to their surroundings.......HAHAHAHA!
 
I don't think mentioning the gun was a good idea. The person two rows over that only heard every other word may be on the phone with 911 because a guy with a gun is planning on shooting up the place.

If you wouldn't say it to a LEO don't say it to a stranger. JMO

If I was carrying at the time my reply would be to my child not him.

I would pick my daughter up and say "See that man right there? He's the kind of person I'm talking about when I say there are mean people that will try to steal you from Mommy or Daddy. You didn't even see him watching you did you?"

Then before he could say another word I would walk to another area of the store until the adrenaline rush wore off and I stopped shaking. :eek: If he followed me I'd prepare for the worst day of my life.

If I wasn't carrying I have no idea what I'd say but it wouldn't be very High Road.
 
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