Learned a new lesson about Handguns Tonight!

[OilyPablo]

Late to the party in agreeing with others, but along with your snappy remark - did you tell him what he did is actually wrong and why it is a"BAD" thing? Interestingly I would told him mechanically why it's not cool (think dudes and nice cars for example), then moved into the safety part saying of course safety is #1 and stating why. Many people learn this way.

Your wife would have been proud and saw you as a real man. Not the dude in your signature. Now if the BIL had not listened, been disrespectful, etc while you were talking. Well then you were right on and maybe you two can work it out "some time in the future."

 

[Al Thompson]

I propose stopping by and inviting him for coffee and, whether you feel it warranted or not, apologize. There is no sense in having tension build between your wife and her sister and you have a teachable moment. Explain that as he broached the subject, you erroneously assumed he was familiar with safety protocol and it was reflexive action to regain control of the situation.

Ask for a second chance and invite him to the range then make it a priority to follow through.

Skylerbone nailed it. Follow his wise advice and see if you can recover the missed opportunity to teach a new guy. Nobody was born knowing it all.

And if you are unfamiliar with the four rules... V

 

[leadchucker]

Mistake #1; You handed a gun to someone that you did not confirm was competent to handle a gun.
Mistake #2; You blamed the incompetent gun handler for your first mistake.

To your credit, at least you did not hand a loaded gun to an incompetent gun handler.

 

[berettaprofessor]

Yeah, what several have said; Why be rude when you can educate?

Per your signature line, if you handed that "monkey a gun", knowing that he was not knowledgeable, would you have yelled at the monkey also and told him he'd never get to hold the gun again?

 

[Airbrush Artist]

#2 Lead,I accepted total irresponsibility for the incident immediately,what incited my emotions was his flip remark of"its not loaded." In which showed me his ignorance. And lack of respect for my property and its value .I'm big on t latter,wiith all a respect too a teaching moment that was the last thing on my mind.

 

[Akita1]

Educate him.

+1; teaching moment (right after the open handed slap of course). AA - glad you unloaded and checked it and just like WE all do when we pick up a gun, we check it again.

A relative of mine who is very experienced with all types of firearms had an AD with a .357 in his house while showing it to another relative after a holiday dinner. Thank God the round was stopped by the cast iron stove on the other side of the wall because it was otherwise headed into a kitchen full of people cleaning up after the family dinner. It was what I called his "poltergeist" gun because he had another AD it with a few years earlier while we were hunting - he dropped it on the floor of the truck and the hammer hit first, sending a tight wad of snakeshot into the liner above. We have subsequently forced him to sell it to a smith who reworked the whole thing and kept it. I got him a GP100 as a replacement but I don't go shooting with him anymore - twice is more bad karma than I choose to tempt.

Add: "experienced" does NOT mean "careful"

 

[orionengnr]

Before ever handing someone a gun (especially someone who may not have sufficient experience/knowledge) a review of the Four Rules is in order.

You have an opportunity to make this experience a positive one (belatedly).
More importantly, you now have a plan for "next time".

 

[Bad Andy]

I believe in gun control, if there's a gun around I want to be in control of it.

 

[btg3]

Situation may still be salvaged. Consider swallowing your pride, extending an apology and and an opportunity to do the right thing should open up.

 

[ngnrd]

...what incited my emotions was ... his ignorance...

His ignorance should have been addressed before you handed him the weapon. You can't blame somebody that doesn't know any better, especially if you didn't even attempt to find out what his level of knowledge was.

I say, you should look in the mirror, admit your mistake, and go apologize to the guy for your rudeness. Then, if he's willing to have the discussion, let him know about safe gun handling, and its importance.

 

[Airbrush Artist]

Agreed ...

 

[joeschmoe]

I don't do show and tell. If they say they want to see it, I invite them to the range to shoot. It's safe there, after we've gone over the basic rules.

 

[HOOfan_1]

To me this goes beyond unsafe handling of a firearm...it goes toward unresponsible handling of someone else's property.

If someone let's me drive their car, I am not going to be doing donuts in it...and I wouldn't fling a person's gun around like that....even if it were a fake gun

 

[buck460XVR]

Always best to do these things one-on-one, overtly demonstrating proper technique and asking a few qualifying questions in a casual manner. Remember an untrained adult is no different than an untrained child but we ought never talk down to adults.

I propose stopping by and inviting him for coffee and, whether you feel it warranted or not, apologize. There is no sense in having tension build between your wife and her sister and you have a teachable moment. Explain that as he broached the subject, you erroneously assumed he was familiar with safety protocol and it was reflexive action to regain control of the situation. Ask for a second chance and invite him to the range then make it a priority to follow through.

I feel it's important and here's why: if it were your child you caught playing with that firearm you couldn't very well shun him/her for life nor should you want to. Having a family member who is unsafe with firearms left to his own ignorance means everyone is still at risk of injury or death. Don't let that be on your conscience.

I gotta agree with this post 100%. All the OP has done is shown his BIL that he can be rude and is overly sensitive about his firearms. IMHO, the OPs excitement to quickly show his new BIL his firearm led him to assume the BIL was already educated on the safe and proper handling of firearms......a major mistake. Then he jumps all over the BIL when the BIL demostrates to the OP, that he made a mistake on that assumption. If you value your firearms, you never hand them to someone that you do not have knowledge of their firearm experience. You also do not admonish someone without telling them what it was they did that was wrong and why. This prevents them from doing it again. Lastly, it's your BIL......someone that is part of your family, whether you like it or not. You not only have the option of making amends, and making future interactions enjoyable, but also have the opportunity to introduce someone properly to the shooting sports. We all were newbies once and many of us were guilty of doing the exact same thing the BIL did. But many of us that continued in the shooting sports had someone with patience to show us what was right and what was wrong.

 

[Airbrush Artist]

Nope

Nope,His demeanor and personality simply does not dictate Him Handling or owning a firearm.Sorry,Brutal Truth from where I sit...

 

[Highland Ranger]

I don't give the uneducated the opportunity to make that kind of mistake.

I always very politely say, have you ever handled guns before, do you know the rules and then I tell them the rules even if they say yes.

I clear it and show it clear to you.
I ask you to clear it.
Hell I ask why do you think its clear.
You then don't point it at anyone and treat it liked it is loaded even if it is not.

Its not a secret handshake club. Teach the guy and bring him into the fold.



Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk HD

 

[Prophet]

I don't give the uneducated the opportunity to make that kind of mistake.

I always very politely say, have you ever handled guns before, do you know the rules and then I tell them the rules even if they say yes.

I clear it and show it clear to you.
I ask you to clear it.
Hell I ask why do you think its clear.
You then don't point it at anyone and treat it liked it is loaded even if it is not.

Its not a secret handshake club. Teach the guy and bring him into the fold.

"Okay, this is not a toy and not meant to be played with. You should always make sure that a weapon is empty first before you handle it. I'm going to clear it now. See how I did that? Any questions? Okay, now when I hand this thing to you, that's the very first thing you're going to do with it. And remember; people have gotten killed with 'unloaded' firearms, so even after it's unloaded you treat it like it's still loaded. That means you point it at the floor, you don't put your finger inside the trigger guard. Understand?"

That's standard procedure for me. If he royally screws up after that then yes, I'd say he doesn't deserve to own or handle a firearm. But I doubt he would.

His demeanor and personality simply does not dictate Him Handling or owning a firearm.

No disrespect meant, but if that has always been the case then why did you put a firearm in his hands without any prior instruction? Unless you're saying this one single act by your relative was enough for you to come to that conclusion and you didn't have any prior misgivings. If that is the case, then bear in mind that you are just as guilty of making a newbie mistake as he was and as such he deserves just as much grace as you do.

 

[mr.trooper]

Ditto. I'm all for taking people to the range and educating them, but my own personal policy is not to let anyone handle MY guns until I see them act responsibly with a gun of their own.

One thing we just have to swallow though - If personal firearms ownership were subject to the OPINIONS of others, then very few of us here would have any guns at all. Freedom has consequences, and one of those consequences is that goofballs get to own them right along side of us until they screw up. The moment you start preempting their rights based on your feelings or opinions is the moment the constitution goes down the toilet.

 

[Airbrush Artist]

I will take that comment as a dis simply because of all the time and effort I have committed in My life past and present and future to doing it right ,with firearms there is no Mistake..like some others stated If It doesn't belong to me wheter its a gun or a Guitar or any property of someone else I respect that fact ,He didn't in a flipint and disrespectful way and says "ITS EMPTY " like that was a form of what does it matter way...

 

[JRWhit]

Maybe all ease off a little. The O.P. came here for a conversation and maybe a little venting, along with a little of going forward.
Constructive criticism is a good thing but this is chastising. A lot of post are talking about how he went overboard and should not have been rude and used it as a teachable moment. While this has truth to it, many of these post are guilty of the exact same accusations they describe. People jumping to point at the O.P.s short coming.
I don't at all believe your actions to be out of line. They could have been improved upon as all things could. I agree with this recent post as a moving forward strategy,

I propose stopping by and inviting him for coffee and, whether you feel it warranted or not, apologize. There is no sense in having tension build between your wife and her sister and you have a teachable moment. Explain that as he broached the subject, you erroneously assumed he was familiar with safety protocol and it was reflexive action to regain control of the situation.

Ask for a second chance and invite him to the range then make it a priority to follow through.

I think that given the situation, you did well in not going overboard. You witnessed someone doing something that had a potential for harm to you and your loved ones. I say that by not smacking him upside the head, you did pretty good.

 

[Airbrush Artist]

I myself admitted that the whole scenario was my fault it was emotional for me because I caused it,maybe wrong on my part too express it here in the manner I did..many people who post here wait for the opportunity to jump on someones error.In This case I know better but failed,all day today I have thought of the countless Hours of reading and studying about Firearm safety and the respondsibilty yet I made such and bonehead deciscion...

 

[wingman]

Maybe go the other route and use it as a teaching opp. Maybe the guy knows nothing about guns. This may have been a good chance to teach and bring another person into our hobby. I never condone reckless handling, but that may have been the first time he ever held a gun and was just trying to impress, not knowing better.

Bingo, rudeness is a large part of our culture now it never shows leadership or maturity,you knew the firearm was safe as you approached him cylinder should have been out and you say let me show you how to check a pistol for safety. He was simply trying to be "cool" another part of the new world of reality TV,but you may have missed a good chance to teach someone.

 

[45_auto]

Have you ever tried to twirl a revolver like a hula-hoop? It's not easy.

Maybe he's really experienced and knew what he was doing.

Or maybe You just Have signs In your house With capitalization in weird Places and it was Driving him crazy.

 

[SharpsDressedMan]

WWJD? Perhaps a parable is in order! As other have just said, get over being made (at yourself AND him), and express your concern to him, offer to show him the ropes to proper gun handling, etc, and maybe bring over one more to our side.

 

[HKGuns]

I'm glad I don't get that worked up that easily.

Sure he was wrong, but man, use it to teach him not make him think gun owners are overly sensitive, paranoid, rude people.

Just calm down, after all you did know it wasn't unloaded.

I subscribe to this theory. You missed a very valuable teaching moment, but instead were infuriated because he didn't know as much about guns as yourself. I would have reacted far differently, regardless of the presumed danger.

He was acting out of ignorance, not wanton disregard for your safety or the safety of your family. I just hope you didn't create another anti.

I don't see where "you" did something wrong. You cleared the pistol before handing it over to him, you had no idea of his experience level, nor should you be expected to have such knowledge.

I'm not trying to jump on you either.....You reacted which we've all been guilty of at times.