Lessons from my friend's "encounter"

[MedWheeler]

OP very clearly states in the opening post that her friend was mad at the world AND DIDN'T CARE IF HE LIVED.

Not caring about living is not the same as having a "death wish" (the phrase I recall you using.) I might not care if a plate in my kitchen gets broken, but that doesn't mean I'm going to look for a way to break it myself.

Edit: I see you used the phrase "almost a death wish." So, there might be room for a different interpretation on my part than my initial impression. I just don't think the information in the OP indicates specifically that the targeted victim-to-be was suicidal at that moment. Maybe that's not quite what you were saying. Sorry.

 

[Mike1234567]

Throw-down wallet? Don't have one. Fear of death by moron thief? Don't have it. Really ticked off at thugs who think they can do whatever they want to whomever they want? Absolutely!! But... no one is relying on me anymore except a sick old pug. I do need to ensure he's care for if some nut tries to have his way with me and wins.

 

[torqem]

One day on the movie set, Audie Murphy had some people talking to him. All was merriment, until the prop man handed Audie his .30 Carbine (his actual war piece, supposedly) and everybody there took a step back from him. His aura had instantly become that of the cold-eyed killer.

I was robbed at gunpoint once. The guy "just" had an RG pos .22 snubbie, but he knew to stay 10 ft or so away, 2 handed, at eye-level. He knew to have me drop the wallet and have me kick it to him, then have me go a ways off while he went to his buddy and their car. It was dark, I was unarmed, and had been awakened by their driving up to where I was camped. I was willing to let the wallet and its $200 go, but he was talking about taking my vehicle, with all that I owned in it. There was even more "riding" on this than I'll go into here. I found myself having decided that I was going to side step and dive at him before I'd let him take the car. There's always been a "line" with me that just can't be crossed without consequences. Sometime I don't know where it is myself. But I always know when it's been crossed.

 

[Prophet]

Something I was once told by folks who had spent a lot of time in practical simulations and force-on-force roleplay training is that the weapon is only the very last tool in the toolset, and that your ability to work through encounters using your social skills (of many and varied types) was the primary defense mechanism once an encounter has started.

The second part of that was that one person's social tactics rarely work for the next person. Whatever you do -- comply, deceive, feint, or out-aggression the aggressor -- has to be genuine and in character for you at that moment. You have to "SELL" it.

That some people had a way about them that, even in simulated encounters with play-actors, when they went "on" aggressors lost the desire to push the fight.

Agreed 100%

"The presentation of self is terribly important. If I had my way, I'd send everyone to acting school before having him or her deal with the public and perform eight to ten hours a day." -George Thompson, Verbal Judo.

I purchased and read a copy of this rather short book a few months ago before giving it away to a friend. I picked up the updated edition forwarded by Lee Fjelstad and Pam Johnson and am currently refreshing my knowledge with a second read. If anyone I know expresses interest in carrying a firearm I recommend they read this book before strapping a pistol on.

I think its fair to say that sometimes folks within the defensive community devote more time to learning how to fight their way out of violent encounters than they do to avoiding, deterring and deescalating such encounters in the first place. The reason likely being that to train in the latter sense sometimes requires accepting some amount of humility and vulnerability to their egos, as opposed to the bravado and relentlessness they have come to expect from the former. While that may be partially true, stouter-hearted attributes such as we see with the OP's friend's situation oftentimes play into the latter. Thompson covers both aspects in his book.

A good portion of our training time should be devoted to staying above violent confrontation and maintaining situational status quo if at all possible. Learning to look and act like a force to be reckoned with rather than a victim is a good start.

 

[Fred Fuller]

Another endorsement for Verbal Judo, FWIW...

 

[torqem]

I refer you to Jeff Cooper, who said:"Evil is not overcome by running from it".