Wife
I have a wife who's a feather-light sleeper.
The good: she wakes up at the slightest noise that's out of place.
The bad: she wakes me up if the noise seems to need attention.
The ugly: she won't let me go back to sleep until I've checked it out.
There have been nights where neither of us got much sleep.
*Thump*
What was that? Did you hear that noise?
Uhh? Meh? Noise? What?
That noise! What was that??
'Snothing. G'backta sleep.
ARFIN! Go see what that was!
Oh, S#i7! Dammit! Furgin riffle nabish bogrish nukz!
. . . shuffle . . . shuffle . . . Stoopid kat! Get offa dat!
Well? What was it??
Fargin rimple daffin CAT! Murkish duffid peefered punphis blasted CAT!
Oh. Okay. Good night. Get some sleep.
DammCat. GonnaFarginDrownit. Whumpffus! ShooditWiddaBleedinRaffle. Felis Idiotus. *Snore* . . .
Oddly, I come fully awake when a noise is
wrong.
*Snore*
<daughter brings friends over at O'Dark-Thirty>
*Snore*
*Thump* *Clunk* *Slam* *Stomp, stomp*
*Snore*
*Klick* *Shunk* -- someone who is not family has closed a door
*Snurp?* <dad on feet, bathrobe, snag manhood compensator>
<dad pads softly to front door>
Hi. Help you?
OhMyGodYouScaredMe! I'm with Autumn.
Well, come in; close the door. Hey, Autumn? Ashley's here. Don't stay out too late. You gotta sleep for work.
<pad softly back to bedroom, park hardware, climb into bed>
Honey? Whutz going on?
Nuthin'; g'backta sleep.
Oh, she leaves the lights on.