Jeff Cooper often said that recoil effect was 85% mental, and that the proper thing to do about it was to ignore it. Further, he said, any kid who played any sport, even touch football, would get hit far harder and more often than any rifleman.
I think his percentage was a bit high, as there are several physical factors that contribute to difficulties that a newbie can suffer that an experienced shooter may not readily grasp.
First is stock fit. Even a pretty mild load can really beat a person up through an ill fitting stock. I've seen a number of 12 gauge '97s that young cowboy shooters grew up with. First, something like half the stock was cut off. As the kid grew, sections were sawn off the missing piece, and screwed and glued back on the gun, a bit at a time.
Second is a good pad. Modern soft pads, like the Limbsaver and Pachmayr Decelerator are remarkable achievements. They act much like the action of a semi automatic does, in slowing and spreading out the recoil impulse over time, instead of delivering it all at once.
Third is weight. This is really the problem with most youth guns. Not only is the stock shorter, but the barrel and action are frequently much lighter as well. This can turn a load that's mild in an adult's rifle abusive when fired in one that's whole pounds lighter. This is why it's often better to cut down an adult gun. Plus, you may have to special order a youth model, cheap used full size hunting rifles aren't exactly rare, though.
Fourth is a factor I've only recently come to appreciate, and that's acclimation. As one shoots more and more, the shoulder seems to desensitize to a remarkable extent. I found this out when, due to a hand injury, I switched to shooting off my left shoulder. Previously, I'd been able to shoot 45-70 carbines, a 300 Weatherby, 3.5" 12 gauges, quite a few fairly hard kicking guns, without much fuss, and acquit myself fairly well. Right after the switch, however, a box of Winchester feather lights in a fairly heavy SxS was enough to leave me tender for a few days. I was shocked. The difference between me and a newbie is that I've got twenty years of experience that tells me I can handle this, I've just got to break in this new shoulder. A newbie is likely to think he just can't do it.
That's where a stair step program can come in handy. If you hand load, you can make up a series of progressively stouter loads to help the lad take the jump in smaller bites.
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