Mentally Disturbed Texas Man Killed In BATF Raid - Military Size Weapon Cache Found

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Mentally Disturbed Texas Man Killed In BATF Raid - Military Size Weapon Cache Found
Associated Press 7/19/07
by staff writer: Storm Van Brook

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(Kyle, Texas AP) - A Texas man was shot and killed by Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agents when reports from neighbors alerted police that a resident was pointing his AK47 machine-gun assault weapon in an aggressive manner as he was cleaning the illegal weapon in his garage. Brian "57Strat" Jackson was pronounced dead on the scene after agents from the BATF raided his home in attempt to calm Mr. Jackson.

When police and BATF agents arrived on the scene, Jackson was in his garage cleaning his AK47 machine gun assault rifle. The deadly AK47 is capable of killing schoolyards of children in seconds, and is used by many of the world's armies. The AK47 is also responsible for killing thousands of Americans in Vietnam and Iraq, and is the preferred weapon of choice for the world's terrorist groups.

"When we arrived, Mr. Jackson was in his garage watching a show about Nazis on the History Channel. Jackson was holding a disassembled AK47 machine gun and pointing it in our direction in a threatening manner", said Agent Blankhead of the BATF. "That's when Jackson unfolded the menacing bayonet on his AK47 and made a banzai charge towards us. We had no choice but to open fire. It was him or us." Blankhead said. Agents later determined that what they thought was a bayonet, was actually a cleaning rod. "Plenty of people have been killed with cleaning rods!!" said Agent Blankhead. Cleaning rods are frequently used by terrorist groups to clean the barrels of their AK47 machine guns. The AK47 can fire 600 rounds in a minute and has a range of 3 miles. BATF agents are unsure what the range and rate of fire is of a disassembled AK47, but they are certain it's substantial. Machine guns have been illegal to possess in the US since the The National Firearms Act was passed by Congress in 1834.

After the gunfire ceased, thousands of empty bullet cases lay in boxes around Jackson's garage reloading bench. Agents are still trying to determine how Jackson fired thousands of rounds at agents during the raid and did not hit anyone. As no gunfire was heard from Jackson’s weapon, BATF agents suspect an illegal silencer was used by Jackson. Agent Blankhead also suspects Jackson must have been on illegal drugs to have missed hitting agents. Jackson's home and cars were seized for suspected illegal drug trafficking and will be auctioned off at a later date.

"We were really lucky today. It was our training that saved us. It may never be solved how Jackson was able to make all of his empty cases eject from his AK47 automatic machinegun assault weapon into neatly placed boxes as he fired at agents. It's a testament to the determination of the criminal mind." said Blankhead.

During the raid, Jackson's home was searched and dozens of military automatic weapons marked "Property of US Government" as well as tens of thousands of rounds of military full-metal-jacket-armor-piercing-cop-killer-child-killing-can-go-through-an-engine-block-hollow-point-dumb_dumb-kill-killing ammunition was found. In addition to the military sniper scopes, military binoculars and the military size cache of ammunition that was found at Jackson's home, hundreds of high-capacity machine gun clips were found, the same clips that were banned in the 1994 federal assault weapons ban. Investigations are pending on how Jackson acquired stolen Government property.

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"Jackson's compound was filled with more weapons than what most small countries have", said Blankhead. Over 50 automatic weapons were found inside Jackson's home that could "easily be illegal with the right tools", he said. Blankhead pulled out a hacksaw from a toolbox, and in minutes sawed the barrel off of one of Jackson's military style rifles. "I've just converted this gun to an illegal short barrel rifle and it only took a minute. Jackson had over 50 potentially illegal weapons here. Thank God they are now off the street!" Blankhead exclaimed. There was also an attack cat inside Jackson's house, which was killed by agents in the raid.

Jackson was incredibly handsome & well liked according to one neighbor. "We always felt safe in our neighborhood with Brian next door. I just can't understand it. We loved Brian like he was our own family", said the neighbor.

Another neighbor had often observed Jackson in his garage cleaning his guns, and thought that Jackson was a danger to society. "Why does anyone need guns like that? He even had some kind of belt-fed machine gun made to shoot down the space shuttle or something. The world is better off without that nut-case! I couldn't even wash my Prius or drink a latte' on my porch without being in fear of that maniac shooting me!", said the neighbor. According to an FBI spokesperson, Jackson was being investigated at the time of his death to determine if he had any involvement in the 2003 Space Shuttle Columbia disaster that claimed the lives of seven and happened over Texas.

Jackson's wife was arrested in the raid and is being held on charges of possession of an illegal unregistered attack cat. Jackson's five year old son, a former Marine sniper, was also captured and arrested in the raid. He was found hiding in the bathtub with an M16 machine gun and a bag of cookies.

Jackson's son (from family photo album)
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-Jeff Zeleny contributed reporting-


Associated Press 2007
 
You almost had me until I got to the point where it said the AK47 could kill "schoolyards of children." After that I started to get suspicious. :p
 
Nice story :D. The whole raided to calm Mr. Jackson seemed a little funky, but I didn't totally realize it was fake until the "killing schoolyards of children in seconds" part, still a funny read. Maybe Onion material?
 
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