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Here is some good tactical advice with some humor blended in. Yeah, I can take a joke... I'm a retired soldier. 
Enjoy!
StrategyPage's Military Humor and Military Jokes
> Rules of Combat
> USMC
> 1. Bring a weapon. Preferably, bring at least two. Bring all of your
> friends who have weapons. Bring their friends who have weapons.
> 2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
> is expensive.
> 3. Only hits count. Close doesn't count. The only thing worse than a
> miss is a slow miss.
> 4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast
> enough, nor using cover correctly.
> 5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and
> diagonal movement are preferred.)
> 6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a big weapon
> and a friend with a big weapon.
> 7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
> tactics. They will only remember who lived and who didn't.
> 8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and
> running.
> 9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting is more dependent on
> "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the weapon.
> 10. Use a weapon that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an
> Angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket."
> 11. Someday someone may kill you with your own weapon, but they should
> have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
> 12. In combat, there are no rules, always cheat; always win. The only
> unfair fight is the one you lose.
> 13. Have a plan.
> 14. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
> 15. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. The visible target
> should be in FRONT of YOUR weapon.
> 16. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
> 17. Don't drop your guard.
> 18. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
> 19. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep
> your hands where I can see them).
> 20. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
> 21. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
> 22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
> 23. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you
> meet.
> 24. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong
> commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
> 25. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does
> not start with a ".4."
> Army
> 1. See USMC Rules for combat
> 2. Add 60 to 90 days
> 3. Hope the Marines already destroyed all meaningful resistance
> Navy
> 1. Spend three weeks getting somewhere
> 2. Adopt an aggressive offshore posture
> 3. Send in the Marines
> 4. Drink Coffee
> 5. Bring back the Marines
> Air Force
> 1. Kiss the spouse good-bye
> 2. Drive to the flight line
> 3. Fly to target area, drop bombs, fly back.
> 4. Pop in at the club for a couple with the guys
> 5. Go home, BBQ some burgers and drink some more beer
Enjoy!
StrategyPage's Military Humor and Military Jokes
> Rules of Combat
> USMC
> 1. Bring a weapon. Preferably, bring at least two. Bring all of your
> friends who have weapons. Bring their friends who have weapons.
> 2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
> is expensive.
> 3. Only hits count. Close doesn't count. The only thing worse than a
> miss is a slow miss.
> 4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast
> enough, nor using cover correctly.
> 5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and
> diagonal movement are preferred.)
> 6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a big weapon
> and a friend with a big weapon.
> 7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
> tactics. They will only remember who lived and who didn't.
> 8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and
> running.
> 9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting is more dependent on
> "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the weapon.
> 10. Use a weapon that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an
> Angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket."
> 11. Someday someone may kill you with your own weapon, but they should
> have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
> 12. In combat, there are no rules, always cheat; always win. The only
> unfair fight is the one you lose.
> 13. Have a plan.
> 14. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
> 15. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. The visible target
> should be in FRONT of YOUR weapon.
> 16. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
> 17. Don't drop your guard.
> 18. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
> 19. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep
> your hands where I can see them).
> 20. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
> 21. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
> 22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
> 23. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you
> meet.
> 24. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong
> commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
> 25. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does
> not start with a ".4."
> Army
> 1. See USMC Rules for combat
> 2. Add 60 to 90 days
> 3. Hope the Marines already destroyed all meaningful resistance
> Navy
> 1. Spend three weeks getting somewhere
> 2. Adopt an aggressive offshore posture
> 3. Send in the Marines
> 4. Drink Coffee
> 5. Bring back the Marines
> Air Force
> 1. Kiss the spouse good-bye
> 2. Drive to the flight line
> 3. Fly to target area, drop bombs, fly back.
> 4. Pop in at the club for a couple with the guys
> 5. Go home, BBQ some burgers and drink some more beer