My son made a gun comment in school...

[gdesloge]

"I think my wife and I are going to schedule a parent/teacher conference for both of boys' teachers."

Great idea. It sounds like you are being great parents.

gd

P.S. A follow-up posting after your conference might be very informative for the rest of us, if you can.

 

[armoredman]

Good luck, sir.
If this happens with me I'll probably call the teacher and ask her what she is specifically worried about, more info than a written note. My son's teacher has already called me a few times about his progress, (not bad calls, either), so we know each other a little bit.
I have to say I won't volunteer any information on what I own or how it is stored. If she wants to go to the range, great, just have to make sure the Mrs can go same day!
Good luck and please let us know what happens.

 

[texas bulldog]

TexasBill's proposed edit nailed it a couple pages back. Fewer words is generally better. The fewest needed to make your point clearly is almost always the best choice.

I do like that you're approaching this in a calm and positive manner. I hope that I'll have the patience to do the same when this (inevitably?) happens with my own kids. Good job, sir, and good luck with it all.

 

[gordy]

When my son was in the 4th grade he was given a assignment to draw a picture and write a paper on what he liked to do with his dad.
My son loved to come with me and go dove hunting.
He drew a picture and wrote a story about hunting doves. How the dogs would bring back the birds. I was so proud. My son had never carried anything but a daisy red rider on our dove hunts and never talked of shooting a gun himself in the story.
A week later I went to pick him up at school, As I stood in the hall I saw the pictures and stories of the classmates in my sons class.
I could not find my sons!
After the class was dismissed I asked the teacher(around 24, female) where my sons story was.
I was told that it was inappropriate to use guns around the young kids. And his story was thrown away.
I told her that it was a story. His story!
We can not have the children around guns was her come back.
I asked her what she had taught my son that day?
She thought about it for a bit and said, I don't know what you are talking about.
I told her that she had taught my son that if you do as your are asked that you will be set apart from the rest and punished. And I asked her if she thought he would ever do as she asked again?
She told me that she was the teacher and he had better.
I told my son that I was very proud of him and we went hunting for rabbits.
My boy is a young man now and we go hunting as much as we can.
You cant fix stupid. and you can't fight the ignorant.
DON'T SAY A WORD, and do the things you love with your kids.
Not all teachers are out for your kids best interest.

 

[CoRoMo]

TEXAS BILL HAS THE BEST RESPONSE ABOVE !!!!!!!!!!!
-----------------------------------
I like TexasBill's response the best...
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TexasBill's proposed edit nailed it a couple pages back. Fewer words is generally better. The fewest needed to make your point clearly is almost always the best choice.

I agree. I even HATE making long posts here!

...concern hoping he was speaking of a toy gun.

In many instances, if I'm not asked a question, I don't offer an answer. But... if I had received a note like that with just a statement of, "I'm concerned about this and I hope he was only referring to a toy gun", I would return with a statement along the lines of, "I can assure you that he was not referring to a toy".

I realize that is not as diplomatic as your example. I'm weak like that.
Regardless, you've already sent lil' Tyler off with the response and I think you did good. I'm now dying with impatience, wanting to know how she receives the letter!

 

[BADUNAME37]

I have to agree, Texas Bill's letter is straightforward, to the point, does not divulge any information that the teacher and others who have access to the student's file might read now and in the years (decades) to come.

 

[Black Knight]

Like others, it is sad that such a reasonable letter needed to be written but in today's world it is not unimaginable. Your response was well written and reasonable. I hope you sent a copy to the school's princpal so he will hopefully understand what is going on as well as kept a copy for yourself. Now a days you never can tell if they are going to call Child Services and claim child abuse or endangerment because of having guns in the home.

 

[Deltaboy1984]

Skip the letter and set up a meeting. Your dealing with some one whose only exposure to firearms are that they are bad , evil and dangerous. More than likey Police Officers make her neverous.

FYI I teach in a Public HS in TX.

 

[db_tanker]

I can't wait for the response from the indoctrinator ERRR teacher who has such a dim view of youth learning a proud American heritage.

apologies to any teacher on HERE BTW. Specifically Deltaboy, generally all.

 

[NavyGuy]

Well his little folder came back today which is the normal correspondence with the parents. There was no note, my wife says it normally takes a few days for her to respond. We'll see I guess.

 

[CoRoMo]

Given the manners that NavyGuy has displayed, I assume the teacher will be respectful of reality. It's good that she's getting an education on reality herself. I'd bet my house that she won't come back frothing at the mouth with rage, but that would make for an entertaining turn of events. At least for all of us... bad for the OP.

 

[Deltaboy1984]

Good Luck Navy Guy!

 

[NavyGuy]

Thanks CoRoMo (sarcastic),
Dude, I deal with stupidity on soooo many levels everyday...I'm in the military for pete's sake. From the letter I wrote I think she'll realize she's dealing with a well mannered, intelligent, responsible father. Let alone good looking, but I'll save that for the FTF! Seriously, I'll be surprised if I get a response, but I'll post it here if I do.

 

[BleysAhrens]

I remember all the stupid I dealt with on a daily basis when I was in the Navy, most of whom outranked me...I hate power trips.

 

[ms6852]

Please let us know what the outcome of this will be. Like I said earlier my wife just retired from teaching and she married a gun nut and hunting enthusiast and I doubt she would have re-acted in the same manner that this teacher did. She might have investigated the incident with the parent but might not have over reacted.

 

[TexasBill]

I offered an edit based on my own experience. Whatever NavyGuy chose to send, I am confident it was a courteous and cogent response.

Does he need an attorney? No. Does he need to set up a conference with witnesses? No. Nobody is being confrontational; why escalate it?

What I liked about NavyGuy's response was that it framed Tyler's interest in healthy, positive terms: an interest in hunting and guns is a good thing. It did not stake out a political position; it was a friendly explanation of how things work well in a particular family. I hope the teacher's response is equally well-reasoned.

 

[wingman]

DON'T SAY A WORD, and do the things you love with your kids.
Not all teachers are out for your kids best interest.

Some of the best advice I've seen here, little to no common sense in our public schools, my children are adults now however I suggest to anyone who will listen get your kids out of public education.

 

[russ69]

You are the parent and I'm sure you did the thing that was right for you. I would have however, made sure my response closed the issue without raising any new issues or jeopardizing my sons relationship with the instructor. My letter would have simply said, "Thank you for making us aware of our son's answer and for your concern of our son's welfare."
That gives a solid response and from the instructors point of view, she might even think you and her agree. There is no need to further discuss or educate her because her response to this is not known and it may in someway hurt your son's education. This is not a battle that NEEDS to be fought and won. It may not even be winnable depending on the instructor. Sometimes it's a better strategic position to not show your hand to the other players at the table.

Thanx, Russ

 

[tekarra]

Very well said. I hope your letter is read in the spirit in which it was written and that the teacher responds in a similar vein.

 

[SpaceFrank]

Good job, OP. There were certainly many schools of thought demonstrated in this thread regarding how to deal with the situation, but I think you did it right. You started out on "The High Road" with the expectation that she would be as reasonable as you. If she tries to use the information against you, you can always go over her head.

It's a lot easier to start out with diplomacy and then escalate your response if that fails than it is to do it the other way around. (IMO)

I especially wouldn't second-guess your course of action, considering that you had a better read on things being closer to the situation. I'm sure you're more familiar with the school than any of us.

 

[dc.fireman]

I love it - " Yeah Bob, thats a great proposal you have there, just some minor corrections, like the dangling participle, second sentence, third paragraph..."

My wife is reading this over my shoulder - completely focused on the subject, myself (and apparently a few others) aren't the slightest bit fazed by the subject matter, but more concerned with the prospect of handing a teacher something laced with poor grammar, and spelling errors...

Out of curiosity - which school district is this - Hampton City, Chesapeake, or Suffolk?

Good job on the letter - I foresee a 'conference' in your immediate future... :banghead:

 

[crossrhodes]

Excellent letter

I like the why you explained a safe family tradition and how you plan to pass that a long to your kids. I think your letter was a appropriate response to what is generally a group of people who have an unnatural fear of firearms.
FYI. My stepson (9Th grade) had to write an a paper on something he believed in for his English class, he wrote about the 2ND Amd and the draconian guns laws. He received a B+ and no notes from the teacher. The big surprise was we never new about it until the end of the school year when he was cleaning out his note books. But then again, we live in Vermont and not an inner city.

 

[SSN Vet]

your response is level headed and rational....

I'm not sure it's wise to assume that the teacher/administrator will be however.

If he/she is an liberal ideolouge with an axe to grind, I fear you'll simply be feeding the flame and giving them ammunition to use against you.

I'd reveal less personal information in writing and keep it to the bare essentials...

"I'm an avid hunter and competitive marksman.... little Johny wants to be just like dad, Johny has never fired a gun and will not do so untill he has demonstrated the requisite maturity and received the proper safety training. Thankyou for bringing this comment to my attention. I certainly understand why you would be concerned and want to assure you that Johny does not have access to any type of firearms. Please don't hesitate to let us know of any comments Johny makes in class that you feel are inappropriate, and we'll be sure to address it with him. We appreciate so very much all that you do for our son and are happy to see him enjoy your class."

If you do share any personal info., do so face to face. Any letter or e-mail can be to easilly forwarded to the administration and or social services and be used against you.

If you ever have to fight social services, it will cost a minimum of $20K in legal fees, etc... and take upwards of a year.

 

[twofifty]

^^^ "If you ever have to fight social services, it will cost a minimum of $20K in legal fees, etc... and take upwards of a year."


Shudder.


To the OP, much respect for standing up to your values.

 

[gamestalker]

WC145 you are absolutely correct. I had to deal with a very simular circumstance with one of my 5 boys and didn't respond so nicely. My son who was in 6th grade came to school with a small bruise on his shoulder from pheasant hunting over the weekend. When the teacher ask him how he got the bruise he said while pheasant hunting with my Dad and Brother's. She lost it and went to the folks at CPS. They made contact with me, but I refused to allow them to invade my home and privacy. I didn't think it was any of their business how my Son's and I recreate so long as it is legal, and ethical. Not too long after that incident my Son had a report to write about his Thanks Giving holiday. He wrote about how thankful he was to have a new shotgun to hunt pheasant with over the holiday.