Frank,
The sizing die should be touching the cut out part of the shell plate but not pushing on it.
The sizing die should have a ring in the bottom of it that resizes the case. If this ring is missing there will be no resistance on the press handle at all.
You should feel the case going into the die and coming back out of the die and the press handle should not fall at all when the case is in the die unless it has already been resized once or you have .380 cases mixed in with your 9mm cases. .380 cases are straight cased, not tapered and they will fall right into a 9mm die and right back out again with no resistance.
If the resizing ring is still in your die and when the shell plate is clear up, the die is actually just touching the lower level of the shell plate, it is set up correctly and with 9mm cases in the shell plate you should feel them being resized.
I have greased my press before and if I put to much pressure on the grease gun it will almost feel like it is binding up the press, it makes it stiff. If I spray lubricant on the ram itself, it gets really easy to operate.
Let me know if any of this helps, I'm confused also as to what your saying.
Good luck