New twist on the gun for girlfriend/fiance/wife

[branrot]

I am an avid gun collector/shooter. My fiance is not such a big fan of guns, but after the Connnecticut school shooting, I was finally able to convince her to keep a gun at her place for protection (we live in separate cities right now due to work commitments). She has been to the range with me once, and did OK, but does not want to go back, and does not want to go gun shopping. Concealed carry is not really an issue, at least not now. I read the entire sticky on girlfriend/wife guns, but mine is more specific.

My obvious first choice would have been a steel 5 or 6 shot 357 revolver with a 2-3 inch barrel from S&W or Ruger loaded with 38 specials (good size, good power, not too much recoil, very simple), but the gun I had on me at the time of our discussion (my Kimber Solo) had a manual safety, and she has demanded something with a manual safety (which knocks any of my revolvers out of the running). Personally, I would prefer something without a manual safety, as it would be one less thing for her to worry about. I would really prefer not to go bigger or smaller than 380, 9mm or 38 special, but I am willing to consider other options (I think 40/45/357 will kick too much, and 22 does not have enough stopping power for an intruder). I finally brought her my S&W Model 60 357 loaded with 38's, but she told me to leave her the one with the safety or nothing (she still has the Solo). She can be a little stubborn, as can I.

Anyway, right now, my top choice is my S&W 3913 TSW (3rd gen smith, stainless, single stack 9mm, 8+1, manual safety/decocker). I've also considered the Kimber Solo (too small, too much kick) and Walther PPK (very heavy DA trigger). I also considered a 9mm HK USP compact, but want to stay away from polymer, and think the grip might be too thick due to the double stack mags. I'd prefer something from my existing stash, but will buy another gun if necessary. I will try to get her to the range again in the future, but in the meantime, do you have any words of wisdom?

 

[Esoxchaser]

My wife loves the Springfield 9mm EMP. All the overlapping safety features of a 1911. Accurate and comfortable to shoot, and just the right size to do double duty- nightstand or carry.

 

[Plan2Live]

If you would consider a revolver (without a manual safety) then take a look at the Kahr MK9. Metal frame which gives it a little extra heft to help manage recoil, a nice smooth long trigger pull that mimics a revolver trigger but gives you the advantages of a semi-auto. I tried the trigger at gun shows and in gun stores and hated it, tried it at the range and loved it. Take a look.

 

[JTQ]

I never understand the recommendations for little guns for new or reluctant shooters. Nobody likes to shoot them, why try and make those people shoot them. They are difficult to aim accurately, and uncomfortable to shoot, especially if they use a powerful defense round.

She isn't going to conceal carry it, it is for home defense. Get her a full size pistol that fits her hand with a safety.

I also don't think revolvers are a good recommendation either. The double action trigger pull is often in the 10-12 lb. range making it difficult for smaller or weaker people to operate. Women aren't stupid, they can figure out safeties, but they generally aren't as big or as strong as men.

I'd say look for one of the polymer pistol with a safety, such as the Ruger SR9 or the S&W M&P. Both should fit a smaller hand, they are lightweight, have high capacities, their trigger pulls are relatively light, and are available just about everywhere.

Another option, since she demands a safety, is a 1911. They are big pistols, but they fit the small handed very well. They have a short trigger reach and their trigger pull from the factory is usually in the 5-6 lb. range.

 

[tuj]

The 3rd Gen S&W's are good guns, especially the TSW variants, which in some cases got a little more attention at the factory. I have a 5906 TSW and it runs like a champ and is accurate enough out to 25 yards. My 5906 has an 11lb DA first pull and my wife who is slight can handle it just fine. Plus the decocker/safety lever on the slide makes it easier for her to grab onto to rack the slide.

 

[bainter1212]

The Rock Island Tactical is an all-steel 1911 chambered in 9mm. Recoil should be next to nothing, and the price point is great at around $400. Single stack 1911 with its thin grip should be easier for her to hold, and the trigger should be nice and easy like any 1911. You can fit almost any 1911 part on it. Including some girly flowery grips for her.

 

[Old Fuff]

Are you sure she understands that today's hand-ejector revolvers have mechanical safeties that are on 100% of the time except when the trigger is all of the way back and held there while the hammer falls? There is no way that it can accidently be knocked or left off leaving the gun ready to fire, and simply touching the trigger will not affect it. This is by far the most dependable of all handgun safeties.

Because some can't see a little lever to move they think revolvers don't have a safety, but this isn't true.

Change of subject: Why buy a .357 Magnum when it's inprobable that ammunition is going to be used? It's a poor choice for interior home defense, and particularly so in a snubby that isn't likely to be carried concealed. A larger revolver chambered in .38 Special would be a better choice and likely cost less.

 

[pistolero guy]

girls guns

Your first assessment is the best, try to convince her of that and then help her to understand why a safety should not be employed on a revolver

 

[ArchAngelCD]

So let me get this straight. Your fiance is not a fan of guns and has only been to the range ONCE and you think it's a good idea for her to use a handgun, and a .357 Magnum to boot for home defense? Really?

I'm sorry but I think a handgun for her is a very bad idea unless she does a lot of practice with it. It's just not safe and she will probably fail to protect herself under stress.

IMO a 20ga shotgun loaded with low recoil ammo is probably the best home defense gun in your fiances case. There is a lot less to do and it's easier to shoot than a handgun. Think about it...

 

[TarDevil]

I second the shotgun suggestion (Archangel, the OP stated he intended to load with .38 spcl), but if you are dead set on a hand gun, I also second the Ruger/M&P suggestion.

 

[Zaydok Allen]

So let me get this straight. Your fiance is not a fan of guns and has only been to the range ONCE and you think it's a good idea for her to use a handgun, and a .357 Magnum to boot for home defense? Really?

I don't know why people always assume that the handgun will be handed to the person and they will be turned loose upon the world to wreak havok and defend themselves in a destructive and ineffective way.

I'm sure what ever gun she ends up with, the OP will be working with her extensively to improve her comfort level and proficiency.

To the OP, I would suggest you give her a gun that can be equiped with a laser and demonstrate it's use. It is no substitute for good training, and it is not to be depended on, but it may help her in a pinch if she is not wild about the range. First and foremost though, work with her.

 

[pitime]

I agree with Old Fuff and was wondering if maybe you could get her to view the first half of the trigger pull as the Safety lever?

 

[oneounceload]

do you have any words of wisdom?

Yep - you and her read www.thecorneredcat.com - several times if necessary. Then go to a place that rents guns and let her try a boatload of them. Then let HER decide what SHE finds comfortable and easy to shoot

BTW, a snubby 357 would be LAST on the list; she'd be better off with an AR.

Remember, just because somethings "seems obvious" to YOU, does not mean it does to her or that it should be forced upon her. She might be better off with a good dog and a can of bear spray

 

[45_auto]

I would suggest you give her a gun that can be equiped with a laser and demonstrate it's use. It is no substitute for good training, and it is not to be depended on, but it may help her in a pinch if she is not wild about the range.

Last thing I would do is go hanging a bunch of extraneous crap on a gun for someone who's not interested in training or practicing.

If she actually has to use the gun in a hurry, the last thing you want her to have to do is waste time fumbling to turn on a laser then looking around for a dot that may or may not be there.

Keep it as simple as possible for her. Don't introduce any additional sights, switches, techniques, etc, until she's proficient with the basic handgun.

 

[rcmodel]

She has been to the range with me once, and did OK, but does not want to go back

No guns for her then!
Without training and at least occasional practice, she would be an ND waiting to happen with a semi-auto under stress.

I say revolver, or nothing.

Get her an industrial size can of bear pepper spray.

At least she won't harm herself or her neighbors permanently with it.

rc

 

[Skribs]

I'm sorry, but "my girlfriend wants a gun" should be "what she wants". I don't generally like cryptic answers, but the fact is that it is HER decision, not yours, and she should be the one who is choosing the important factors, not you.

 

[Hit_Factor]

Let her pick it out. If she doesn't like what you get her she won't shoot it and if she needs it she probably won't consider it as an option.

Nothing new or twisted in this request ( except for considering a Solo).

 

[branrot]

First of all, thank you. Mostly good advice. I hadn't really considered the 9mm 1911 platform, but it's something to look into, though the pure single action trigger concerns me.

I have explained the safety thing to her multiple time. In fact, the gun would be stored in a cabinet in the nightstand with nothing else in it. Thus, even if the "keep your hand off the trigger it won't fire" safety somehow fails, the gun would still be inside a closed cabinet and would have the "open the cabinet door before the gun can fire" safety.

On the dog, she's allergic to them. Believe me, I've tried.

On the 357, I prefer them over 38s because they're stronger, and I don't own any dedicated 38s (though I have several 357s). The model 60 I tried to give her was loaded with 38s. I was leaning to a shorter barrel because any shooting she would do with it would be inside, at close range, so accuracy isn't a big issue (it's always an issue, but I mean more target type long range accuracy), and I thought it was less intimidating for her than a big 4 or 6 inch barrel.

The Ruger SR9 and Smith M&P are good options (I have the SR40c and a small and large M&P40), but I prefer to stay with the single stack to give her a better grip. I don't mind a bigger gun, I'm just trying to keep a smaller grip and caliber. Thus, I'm still leaning towards the S&W 3913, with the Kimber Solo being a close second.

Either way, I will continue to try to get her to the range, and to get her more comfortable with whatever gun she ends up with. Thanks again.

 

[BigJimP]

Let her pick it out ....and then keep quiet..

However, a couple of guns that the ladies and young shooters in my family really like are ( from 10 yrs old -- 40 or so ) - it comes down to what fits their hands the best :

a. 1911 in 9mm ...in a 4" ( they find a 5" gun in steel a little intimidating and too heavy )...so I have a Kimber Tactical Pro II model, alloy frame, 4", in 9mm that a lot of them like to shoot. They will pass up my Wilson Combat 5" 1911, all stainless gun, in 9mm to shoot that smaller and lighter Kimber instead...

b. no safety on it ...but a decocker...a Sig 239 in 9mm...easy to shoot, pretty good trigger on it, fits smaller hands pretty well..

c. K frame S&W revolvers...mod 19's or 66's in 4" especially ...and then loaded with .38 spl ( even though they're chambered in .357 mag ) ...they like the weight and trigger pull, especially in single action, very easy to manipulate ( but no safety like you pointed out ). They find the snubbie versions I have too short - or have too much recoil. They like the 4" models...and they find my 6" models ( 19's or 66's ) to be too long and too heavy. All of the L frame ( 686's ) and N frames ( mod 27's, 28's ) to be way too heavy ...although one of them does like the mod 27 in a 4" .....and none of them really like shooting them in .357 mag.

d. they don't like any of the poly frame double stack guns...Glock, etc...way too wide...and they think the triggers on them are worse than even the K frame revolvers in double action...( they don't like the long trigger pull required ). All of the steel or even alloy frame double stack guns are worse to them ...way too heavy and unwieldly.

Hand strength ....to be able to rack the slide and load the gun ...is a factor for a lot of young shooters....so a 1911 or a Sig 239 in .40S&W....with a stiffer recoil spring in them, gets eliminated quickly ( and I have some of each )...but even dry firing with that heavier spring, they do not like it.....and if they think it might be ok, they don't like the recoil when compared to the 9mm version.

 

[jj1962hemi]

How about a Ruger P95? If her hand likes the feel of the grip, you get the safety, a DA trigger for the 1st shot, an inexpensive and robust gun. Also, the P95 is a heavy gun and with 9MM ammo, the kick is light. My wife prefers revolvers. She has a Taurus 82 (4" .38SPL) and loves shooting a Model 66 S&W.

I think a small gun, if you're not concealing it, adds too much recoil. The sight radius is also limiting. There's no substitute for practice, too. I don't know if this is part of her problem, but an outdoor pistol range is far more comfortable than an indoor range. If you can find/join one nearby, that might be the ticket.

If she would tolerate a revolver, I'd get a 4" medium framed .357 mag (shooting .38SPL, as you suggested). Good luck!

 

[chris in va]

I was allergic to dogs as a kid. Mom got a hypoallergenic Poodle, problem solved. Very loyal and they come in various sizes. Bichon's are also good for people with allergies. Won't protect her but will at least wake her up if something is amiss.

On a side note, my GF likes a full size 45 the best. I've heard that from other women too. I didn't push it on her, she chose it out of my collection.

 

[Jeff22]

If she isn't going to practice enough to be competent, then it doesn't matter what kind of gun she gets. She'll never use it because she doesn't have the mindset or the skillset.

 

[ArchAngelCD]

If she isn't going to practice enough to be competent, then it doesn't matter what kind of gun she gets. She'll never use it because she doesn't have the mindset or the skillset.

100% spot-on. She may even hurt herself because she doesn't know how to use the gun.

Please understand I'm not trying to get on you at all. I'm only concerned with her safety. All gun owners have to be safety conscious and knowing the 4 rules, knowing the laws and practice-practice-practice are all part of the deal.

 

[smalls]

No guns for her then!
Without training and at least occasional practice, she would be an ND waiting to happen with a semi-auto under stress.

This. She has no interest in becoming proficient with a gun, so get her whatever, because its just going to be a magic talisman to her.

You said you read the sticky, but obviously you did not, or you wouldn't be trying to pick out a gun for her. You'd also realize sticking a .357 snubby in her untrained hands would be foolish.

Every one of your posts have "I would like", or "I wouldn't mind". This isn't your gun we're talking about.

 

[AFDavis11]

It sounds to me like your girlfriend found herself a new Kimber Solo and there aren't any decisions to be made at all.