Obama Touts Gun Control (SATIRE)

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Travis McGee

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Obama Touts Gun-Control

Cho Seung-Hui, the presumed mentally ill gunman who shot 32 people at Virginia Tech inspired Democratic presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama (D-Ill.) to urge that laws should be strengthened to prevent the mentally ill from buying guns. Federal laws already prohibit those confirmed to be mentally ill from purchasing guns. Obama says these laws don’t go far enough.

“Existing laws miss the point,” Obama said. “A desire to own a gun should, by itself, be considered prima facie evidence of mental illness. I mean, who would want a gun? In this modern age, gun ownership is an anachronism. The average home-owner isn’t hunting to put food on his family’s table. He doesn’t need to fight off savages who would rape his wife and murder or abduct his children. Why does he need a gun? It’s nuts.”

Under Obama’s proposal, a new federal Gun Registry Administration Bureau (GRAB) would be established. GRAB would be authorized to review all state laws pertaining to gun ownership and void those deemed unsuitably “loose.” “Under our Constitution, regulation of firearms is a federal responsibility,” Obama claimed. “States must not be permitted to usurp this authority through lax enforcement.”

Obama insisted that “those truly in need of owning a weapon will still have access. All they have to do is demonstrate to the satisfaction of federal agents that they have a legitimate need for it.” Obama did admit, though, that demonstrating such a need would be difficult since the mere expression of a need for a firearm would normally be considered disqualifying.

In related news, California Assemblyman Kevin de León (D-Los Angeles) introduced a bill (AB 362) that would put restrictions on ammunition. De Leon applauded himself for “finding a loophole in the Second Amendment.” “The Bill of Rights says people have the right to bear arms,” de Leon pointed out. “It doesn’t say anything about bullets.”

De Leon congratulated himself on coming up with “a bullet-proof solution to mass murders like the ones we saw at Virginia Tech. Without bullets, Cho would’ve been stopped before he started.”

JOHN SEMMENS: Semi-News
http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm
 
He doesn’t need to fight off savages who would rape his wife and murder or abduct his children.

Yep, those were all banned in Illinois :)

Very funny by the way :)

Problem is that it's not far from believable given the subject.
 
A nice bit of satire there. Although, it's telling when the parody and the reality (rather than the public image) are so close together.
 
I'd really love to have a source for that information.

FWIW, Obama is on the board of directors of the Joyce Foundation, so there's no doubt that he's a gun grabber, but I have a hard time believing that Captain Charisma, from the clan of the Inspiring but Vague Platitude would come right out and say that.
 
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The best part is that the acronym for the new gun-control agency is GRAB!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Man, that was funny.

It sucks that it's close to being true, though.:(
 
A desire to own a gun should, by itself, be considered prima facie evidence of mental illness. I mean, who would want a gun? In this modern age, gun ownership is an anachronism. The average home-owner isn’t hunting to put food on his family’s table. He doesn’t need to fight off savages who would rape his wife and murder or abduct his children. Why does he need a gun? It’s nuts.”

Wow How can he seriously run for president when he doesn't understand the bill of rights?

I guess we're all in his view, "mentally ill". I'm not mentally ill enough to vote for him and I'd call his supporters the same. Haven't they read, "Warren v. District of Columbia", the Police have NO obligation to protect. Without Police protection I am one who wants a gun.

He doesn’t need to fight off savages who would rape his wife and murder or abduct his children
BG's DO rape, pulnder and pillage and they do it armed. I hear it on the local news every night. Shootong here, rape there, child molestation everywhere.

I can picture a young man named Adolf making that speech, especially about the incresed government "supervision"

History has a scary way of repeating itself.
 
FWIW, Obama is on the board of directors of the Joyce Foundation, so there's no doubt that he's a gun grabber,

I thought any doubt would have been eliminated by his campaign platform calling for a ban on the possession of semi-automatic weapons.
 
“Under our Constitution, regulation of firearms is a federal responsibility,” Obama claimed. “States must not be permitted to usurp this authority through lax enforcement.”

No, you idiot, what the Constitution of The United States of America does say is that we have a right to our firearms. This right was included because the Founding Fathers were quite familiar with what insane or out of touch idiot rulers could do to the people!
 
Good satire but too close to true......Barack Obamination has already gone on record as calling for a total ban on ALL semi-auto's

Its not just Obama either.....all of the lefties have a poor record on 2A except Richardson and on top of that we have RINO's like Romney and Ghoul-iani who have historically voted Anti-2A but are now trying to appear strong on 2A by making statements like "I've been a hunter all my life" (totally missing the point of 2A) and Ghouliani stating he believes in 2A and that it should be a States responsibility to regulate....cop out.

We have some tough decisions to make folks unless someone like Hunter or Fred Thompson is able to put themselves into a position where they can win.
 
Under Obama’s proposal, a new federal Gun Registry Administration Bureau (GRAB) would be established. GRAB would be authorized to review all state laws pertaining to gun ownership and void those deemed unsuitably “loose.” “Under our Constitution, regulation of firearms is a federal responsibility,” Obama claimed. “States must not be permitted to usurp this authority through lax enforcement.”
I got to the part about GRAB before I realized it was a put-on.:eek:
 
Scary!
This Muslim jumps from "the right to own guns" to "we decide who needs one"!
And yes I know, officially he is no Muslim.
Someone who spend several years in a Koran school is one in my book and by Muslim rule, once a Muslim your a$$ belongs to Allah forever!
 
I can picture a young man named Adolf making that speech, especially about the incresed government "supervision"

Actually, Hitler wasn't this bad at all.
 
I can picture a young man named Adolf making that speech, especially about the incresed government "supervision"

Might be a record for the quickest Godwin'ing of a thread. :D

Good satire but too close to true......Barack Obamination has already gone on record as calling for a total ban on ALL semi-auto's

To be fair, he said that back in 1998 when he was still a state senator. He has not (far as I know) repeated it. Although unlike most of the other guys up there has made nothing to state ANY support of the 2A, Im sure he will try and moderate his position before Nov 08, as he knows the 2A vote could bury him. I still think has campaign is shaky, he is very evasive and some aspects of his past will haunt him (member of an afro-centric church etc). I personally will do everything in my voting power to bury any chance of Anyone from IL coming into the white house in 08.
 
Someone who spend several years in a Koran school is one in my book and by Muslim rule, once a Muslim your a$$ belongs to Allah forever!
<sigh>

Let's not divert this thread too, OK?
 
"I got to the part about GRAB before I realized it was a put-on."
__________________

Yes it is a put on but GRAB is not to far fetched. Chairman Daley in Chicago put together a unit called Chicago Anti Gun Enforcement or CAGE. For where you will wind up if you have a gun in Chicago and do not know a politician.

Len
 
how about we fire all the politicians and devolve into anarchy? I'm beginning to think my chances might be better that way. And yes I know it's a spoof! But I wasn't kidding!
 
Captain Charisma, from the clan of the Inspiring but Vague Platitude

Thanks, Justin, that practically made my day!

"Times are tough, but we are tougher! The general leadership of this country is failing at the most basic and essential tasks and it will take a President of strength and fortitude to do what is necessary and right to continue making this country the greatest country in the world! And I will never give up in providing positive and effective leadership for the good people of the world!"

Yeah, I know. Can y'all tell I'm having to write new cover letters for my resume? :neener:
 
This guy just lost any chance of winning even the Democratic nomination with this satement. He will lose all pro-gun swing states and if he were to win the Democratic nomination, this would be the best chance for a Republican to win.

Funny how Obama has changed his tune the opposite of McCain - who used to spout a lot of gun control rhetoric but now firmly calls for no new gun control efforts.

Would be interesting to see what would happen if these two ran against each other with two diametrically opposed platforms on gun-rights. The way both parties had been going was to be quiet about the "gun issue" and not make it an issue, but Obama and McCain seem to think they can win votes by catering to opposite sides of the debate.

Edit: OOPS - just read more closely and I now see it is a come on.
 
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