9mm: 124-grain +P Gold Dots, or 147-grain Gold Dots. This is what I could easily buy, in 50-round boxes, when I transitioned to 9mm Glocks, for duty and much personal carry. I know my Glocks like it. Never assume any weapon likes anything; I had a G22 .40 that was a drama queen, and a different G22 that liked 165-grain ammo, but would lock-open, with live rounds in the mag, with 180-grain ammo. (The cure was a new slide stop, as the original reached too far.)
I do not currently use any compact or short-barreled 9mm pistols. My hands are not aging well. If a grip does not reach the “heel bone” of my right hand, it is less stable, and will cause damage. Muzzle flip is my enemy, even if I shoot lefty, with my right hand being the support hand. I sold my G26, traded one G19, and my remaining G19 pair are niche/loaner/reserve pistols.
.357 Magnum: 125-grain, full-velocity, in my 4” full-lug GP100, or heavier revolvers.
.357 Magnum, in revolvers lighter than 4” full-lug GP100, regardless of barrel length: Short Barrel Gold Dot 135-grain. This can be seen as a glorified .38 Special, but I don’t want to further wreck my aging hands.
My SP101 five-guns are a special case. I still load them with Short Barrel .357 Gold Dots, when I can find enough of them. Otherwise, I have some Buffalo Bore full wadcutters, which are .38 Special, at the upper end of standard pressure.
.38 Special, J-Snubs: 148-grain wadcutters, because alloy-framed J-Frames hurt my hands. I do not have any all-steel J-frames
.38 Special, K-Snub: I am not picky. Any good controlled-expansion JHP, that is available when I re-stock.
.45 ACP: 230-grain Gold Dots, 230-grain Federal HST Tactical, or 230-grain Federal Hydra-Shok. I have tested these, and they work in my 1911 pistols.
.45 Colt: I am vetting some new choices. I have not really been carrying .45 Colt for antipersonnel purposes, anyway, though this is subject to change, in the near future.
I am still vetting my Glock G42, so have not established a .380 load preference. Anecdotally, the G42 seems to prefer heavier bullets.
.32 ACP, for Seecamp LWS-32: Gold Dots, for quite some time, as they have been more-available than the other recommended loads. This is a niche weapon, for me, and, I do not expect expansion, from such a short barrel, so ammo choice is simply about what feeds reliably. There is no room in the Seecamp magazine for normal round-nosed bullets, and the mag feeds so directly into the chamber, any flat-point or JHP feeds well, if the OAL is within spec.