Problem with the neighbor

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I'm not trying to be negative and I respect everyones opinion but I'm going to play devils advocate and explain the "escalate" card using Darthbubbas situation as the example. Lets say he calls the cops on the trespassers and they go down to the sheriffs office and pay a fine or something. Then they PO'd and they make it a point to go around opening every gate they see everytime they get a chance without getting caught. Wouldn't it have been easier to explain to them in the first place about your gates and why they need to be closed and that you don't mind them hiking around as long as they respect your property.
When I was a kid there was a couple of farmers that would let us hunt on their land and by being nice to us we made it a point to watch out for their land. We picked up any trash we found there even if we didn't do it. We reported anytime we saw something wrong to the farmers and we generally took ownership of the land because we were proud of the priviledge.
 
Darth has already made it clear he doesn't want them on his land. If he wanted to allow them access, he'd probably have told them so, along with reminders to close his gates. Instead, he keeps having to shoo them off. What happens when they trespass, let the cattle out, and one causes a major traffic accident (just happened up here and the owner was charged with a crime). Or what happens when a bull gores one of them?
At least if he's reported this he'll start the paper trail that they do not have permission to be on his land. Tresspass again? Go to jail, do not pass go.
 
Sooner or later the 'stars will align' and this yoyo will escalate, be ready. It sounds like the sheriff might have a history with your neighbor since she responded so quickly to a nonemergency. Call her and ask her what he has to do to be in breach of the peace and be ready to act. Life is too short to suffer morons like this one lightly especially when you are on your own property minding your own business. As for the fireworks, sooner or later you are going to get one through the window, or on the roof, or starting a grass fire so I would let him know the consequences the next time it happens.

Edited to add:
See below for definition of breach of the peace
Breach of the Peace
 
Looks like you've had about all the advice you can use or stand. Your neighbor is just a bully, but he may be a psychotic bully! Personally, I would refuse to modify my own property (like digging a ditch, planting trees, or building a fence), just to appease this guy. I have had some luck when I tried the polite, but direct approach. Sometime when you see him on neutral ground, tell him that you would like to be good neighbors and that you hope that he wants that too. You will need to pick your spot (don't do it when he's at the bar with 3-4 of his buddies, if he has any). Don't let him push you into a defensive mood or escalate the "visit". If that didn't work, then I'd use whatever legal means possible to keep him in check. Just don't let yourself get pulled into doing something illegal or antagonistic. Literally, take the "high road". I applaud your self restraint, to this point, but his personality is probably feeding on that restraint. As a bully, he senses that you are not going to do anything, so he feels powerful and dominant. It's always appropriate to be able to defend yourself, but don't get pulled into anything that makes you look like the aggressor. Don't ever do anything aggressive on his property, but don't allow him to get away with being aggressive on yours, even if all you can do is call the cops.

No one likes to feel threatened or dominated on his own property and I don't blame you for being irritated at his actions. Just make sure you are "in the right" and then go about your life as you normally would. Chances are, he will have more problems than he can handle with someone else pretty soon, and maybe he'll move away.

I know it's easy to SAY what to do, but something else to DO it. Like Teddy Roosevelt said, "Walk softly, but carry a big stick." - The other half of that is: "Don't use the stick unless you have to, but if you do, then use it well!"
 
Good advice from CowboyEngr.

People behave badly because it is tolerated. You have ignored the bad behavior for so long and it didn't go away did it? I don't tolerate bad behavior the first time it occurs. No one gets a free shot. I'm not saying start a fistfight but, when someone screams and shouts at you they are deciding if you are predator or prey. You have identified yourself as prey. You are a safe target for his bitterness and rage. Unfortunatly, the more you let it go, the harder it will be to stop. I'm afraid you have encouraged a bad habit and it may take a lot to make him see things differently.
 
The Marxist Down the Road

Bravo 11

In response to your question "Wouldn't it have been easier to explain to them in the first place about your gates and why they need to be closed and that you don't mind them hiking around as long as they respect your property."
I have done that all ready and was told by the lowlife that I had no right to keep cows that they were a sensitive animal and should be left alone according to PETA guidelines.
In other words he is one of the types that want to tell all of the world how to live and views my rights as a property owner with nothing but contempt.
If yall ever wondered where my anti-communist rants came from now you know I live next to a proud Marxist.
Any way I do not want to hijack this thread with my problems.
Oh and HankB Thanks for the link I have been posted for some time now and Enforcement is the problem.

DarthBubba :cuss:
 
An Update:

I was out mowing my lawn last evening, and the neighbor was once again sitting out by his barn, drinking and watching me. First time I saw him, he gave me a big, "friendly" wave, (even used all the fingers on his hand). It was more a "hey I'm still here annoying you" wave then it was really a friendly one.

I returned the wave and kept mowing.


I had a chance to talk to another neighbor about him. Seems most of the confrontations with this guy happen in the summer, because he likes to sit and drink, and ends up drunk and in a bad mood. It would seem he's mostly mouth (actually he's been all mouth so far) but likes to act like he'd be physical. I can live easier with that.

Thanks for all the replies. If nothing else, I see that I could have worse neighbors. I will talk to the sherrif to see exactly what behavior they consider to be over the line.
 
I think you are on a good track. Just make sure you play his little game by YOUR rules, not his. He'll get tired of playing pretty quick. Don't be hesitant to stand up for yourself, but pick your own battle field (your yard would make a pretty good one). Just make sure your response to his aggression is appropriate to the situation. Good luck!
 
Ontario, NY eh? Is that Wayne County? I'm in Monroe County DragonFire.

This jerk you mention sounds to me a lot like someone I had problems with nearly a decade ago where my uncle used to live in a motel that was converted into apartments and once in a great while I'd stop by. Well next door to the apartments was a big barn, and this guy (looking somewhat like a hard core biker with the beard, tattoos, etc) lived in the barn. One night in 1997, I was out in the backyard around 11 pm. I lit a few fireworks, and this is all it took for "Barn Boy" to come stormin' with big metal flashlight in hand. He took the butt end of the flashlight and poked me in the chest while yelling and sounding all tough. "Fireworks are dangerous and illegal!" and stuff like that.

This guy's been known to toss people's bags of trash back into their apartments just after they set the bags for a brief moment outside the door, until one day when he was chased around the parking lot by a tenant holding an iron pipe. He almost visited the hospital that day. Too bad the tenant was more out of shape than old Barn Boy. If I had been armed at the time, I would not have defended for him, other than perhaps a 9-1-1 call 5 minutes or so after a much deserved beating.
 
I have lived many places in my 52 years and , no matter where it was, I have always encountered at least one butt- wipe in every area. No matter where you move, you will always have one of these people for a neighbor. All you can do is be polite, fair,and reasonable when you deal with everyone. Walking softly is a good idea, but forget the stick. Carry a (insert lage caliber hand gun or shotgun of you choice here) instead.
 
Living in a townhome complex you are right on your neighbors , and we get our share of braindead idiots , mostly renters with no show landlords , I had one try to tell me I couldn't park my tractor on my parking spot and it was against the rules , but its ok for him to have all his buddies take up every parking spot and keep people awake till 4 am . I confronted him about the parties and he got in my face with the line do you know who I am and I am connected , well apartently it was hot air as my buddies from county never heard of him till his warrent came up . guess what got new neighbors now and there kids like my truck , Make friends with the local sherriffs , and watch your six , also do the video camera thing it works we have gotten 4 punks driving thru our grass and doing doughnuts in the commons , get one with night vision capability thats what caught the plate numbers , they glow like phosphorus .
 
Df

Trust your gut... You can ask us all day long, but be prepared to get responses like moredes gave you.

I will second REVDISK and tell you to do a privacy fence and watch your pooch. If your intuition told you to arm yourself, (you know him and more details to draw conclusions from than we do) your dog will definitely be the first one to take a hit. Privacy fence and keep you and yours close. And....... PAPER TRAIL!!
Good luck to you and trust your instincts, that's why you have them.
 
It's all been said.

Call the cops when it gets bad, if for no other reason that there will be a official, documented paper trail showing this guy has been trouble if he ever does escalate and you have to shoot him.

When I was a young child, we had a similar neighbor, who was actually the local bootlegger.

Yes, Arkansas' idiotic alcohol laws make it possible to make money as a bootlegger still.

Anyway, this guy liked to stalk my mother, yell threats, drive too close to us on the road near the house, just be a bully.

One night, he had some miscreant buddies over and they got good and drunk, and decided they wanted to come beat on my father with an axe handle and an old washing machine hose.

They were met by my father, my grandfather, and an uncle of mine who had a .22 semiauto pistol, and 30-06 semiauto rifle, and a .45 semiauto pistol.

Shots were fired, but no one hit.

One good court case later, and the fat, dangerous bootlegger wasn't there any more.

Call the cops. Make sure there is a trail of police reports on this miscreant.

hillbilly
 
Neighbor problem

I'm an old fart and have seen situations many times before.. So, in the interest of acting like I "know it all" I would respectfully suggest.

1. Pick up trash, don't kick it in the road. Do you think the highly paid county folks are going to come by nightly and clean it up? Nope... All that will happen to it is a vehicle or mower will run over it, change it from 2 or 3 pieces of trash into 7 or 8. I too live in the country (on 5 acres) with 500' or so feet of paved road frontage. I mosey out and clean other folks trash out of the ditches in front of our property because no one else is going to do it, and it makes MY place look nicer.

2. Is the water draining to your yard contaminated, or does it just water you grass? Either way, since you mentioned you live "downhill" from the nut case you might just as well learn to live with it. It's WATER.....

3. I think you were wise in contacting the local law enforcement department. Now you have the situation on record.. Everytime another situation with the guy comes up, call 'em again. Keep a very nice paper trail. On the very rare chance you wind up having a physical confrontation with him you will start out being the good guy.. You WANT the leo's to think of you as the good guy.. Not the guy who starts the problems.

4. If there's anyway possible, consider a fence... Fences make GREAT neighbors..

5. At every opportunity IGNORE the fool. Don't seek trouble, just mind your own business and again, be the party the cops think of as the offended party, not the one starting trouble.

6. If on the slight possibility you ever shoot this guy you will be in for a whole lot of explaining as to your intentions for carrying the j-frame anyway. I'm not saying you are wrong in doing so, you just need to know that in my state (Georgia) you can't just shoot someone because he comes over and questions your manhood, or whatever. You must first retreat, and only in fear for your life, or the life of your loved ones, or innocent persons will you POSSIBLY get by shooting someone. I know retreating from a dangerous confrontation isn't seen as "manly", but in doing so you might save yourself from getting into a lot of trouble, having to spend a whole lot of money for a lawyer when you are sued by the deceased's heirs, and maybe having to mortgage or sell your acreage to pay for same.

The American judical system just isn't geared to come up with a fair and logical verdict, no matter how much we like to think it is. Or, you just might wind up being GUILTY, even tho' logically you might have been in the right. Or, in the right, as YOU saw the situation. You just can't count on getting a jury of intelligent, educated people. You might get the cretins like on O.J.'s jury, only with a reverse verdict.. To be followed by a civil suit to finish taking whatever you own.

So, pickup the trash in the road. Save for a fence. Be thankful for the free lawn watering. Ignore the fool like he isn't in the universe. Keep the j-frame handy, where you might find it when in "retreat" mode, but in fear of your life, but don't carry it up and down the yard hoping for a confrontation. Nobody wins if that happens.

Now, I'll go take my fiber, Zoloft, and take a nap.. I'm a senior citizen, semi-senile (my wife says "fully") and I'm not trying to start a flame war, or offend you. I just think caution is always the better part of valor, and worrying about this guy is taking up too much of your time.. Let it go.

Best Wishes.
JP :D
 
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