My first was a .38 snub-nose, and I still appreciate it's simplicity.
I say a revolver is the best first handgun, although I have found my autoloader to be inherently easier to shoot accurately. Although the DA pull on a revolver takes practice to become proficient, it's also made ME a better shooter (I was shooting a 150/150 at 10 yards with my revolver. Need to get back into practice though, because one's revolver skills will weaken if they get to used to an automatic).
I prefer the .38 Spl. over .357 Mag. for two reasons:
1) .38 and .357 use the same bullet, and both are equally effective at close range (defensive shooting).
2) .38 has A LOT LESS muzzle flash and blast then the .357. A .357 used indoors in a home-defense scenario can be enough to cause someone to be deaf for days or weeks, if permanent hearing damage doesn't occur.
This isn't to say that a semi-auto can't be a good starter gun (especially in 9MM), because ANY gun owner, newbie or veteran, should be reading the owner's manual and understanding any new gun they buy fully prior to loading it for the first time.
For carry, it's my .45ACP auto, but for home-defense, the .38 is still the ticket. (The .45ACP gets unloaded at night to keep the mag springs from wearing out prematurely). I also trust the .38 in the case of a 3AM break-in when I still have the "sleepies" in my eyes that I don't have to worry about a round being chambered, the manual safety deactivated, etc.
Final answer: Go for the revolver first, then as proficency is mastered with that, graduate up to the auto (and maybe a caliber starting with "4"
).
-38SnubFan