Well... I'd respectfully suggest that your problem isn't the advice you're getting. The problem is that your wife doesn't really want to carry. If she did, she'd be at the gun store with you right now looking over all her options. She'd be bugging you to go gun shopping this weekend. When my ex-girlfriend wanted to buy her first gun she drove over three hours to meet me so I could go with her to help her choose one. As it turned out, she only really needed me to help her learn how to use it. She bought what she wanted after asking and largely ignoring my suggestions in favor of what she figured would work well for her. If your wife isn't at least at that point, there's not any point in buying her a gun. About the only thing you could try is buy a gun you like that you think she might also like, then see if she appropriates it for herself.