Tactical Tommy Goes to 7-11

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Dec 4, 2003
Hi all, it's been forever since I've participated in the forums so I thought I'd start off with a funny bit of satire for those of you who cannot get enough of the "Tactical Tommy" or "Mall Ninja" type of stories.


I wrote the above years ago and posted it here originally so it's kind of a full circle thing for me. Anyhow, most of you don't know me here so this is my way of saying "hi".

So um....are mall ninjas as funny today as they were 6 years ago?
I knew if anyone appreciated this it would be the people here. I still chuckle reading it...
If you don't mind, I'd like to share the title and link on another forum. I'm sure it will be appreciated as much as it is here.

Thanks everyone....I think Bill and I wrote about 3 or 4 other similar stories like this that I'll post sometime next week. They're all hillarious...

As for reposting the story, sure share the link anywhere and everywhere you like. It's not like I'm doing this for commercial purposes, just bringing a bit of humor to the gun world.
ROFL! Does anyone want to try doing a recorded reading for youtube? Admit it, this would be absolutely hilarious if narrated in a deadpan drone.
"...custom made by Belgian Monks who have devoted their lives to silence and holster making."

Seriously?! Ha! That is so funny! I died on that one. My army buddy and I, we brew our own beer and it has a pretty nutty culture too, just as nutty as this one... Great analogy for the story.

You know, you should really think about turning this into a comic strip type thing. Kind of like the "Pvt. Murphy", remember him? Perhaps you could get some rag to run it, maybe one of the NRA ones. If you don't recall Pvt. Murphy, look up some of the comics about him. One of my favorites was where he was stoked to go to Hawaii and getting to wear the "Mop Top" --which was all the funnier when I got assigned to the same unit, but in WA, and I had to wear the same thing! I still have mine in the closet, you know, just in case...

You really captured the ridiculousness of it, and it had a "Get Smart" quality to it, it really did. Keep 'em coming, most certainly.
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