Teaching moment with my 4 year old granddaughter yesterday

[Tallbald]

Miss Penny and I traveled to our daughter's home yesterday to gather up our four year old grand daughter and bring home with us for a few "just because" days of visiting. Crafting, smoking a pork butt, and a trip to an indoor pool at our health gym are on tap.
I carry a Ruger SP101 in an AIWB holster of my own design and execution.Yesterday I didn't bother covering my PPD (personal protection device), choosing a tucked in button down dress shirt instead. Kenzie my grand daughter asked "PawPaw why do you have a gun?". Searching for words appropriate to her age and the situation as we conversed with her and her mother there in the living room I replied "Kenzie honey, because God blessed me with wonderful gifts like YOU, and wants me to do everything possible to protect His gifts from dangers. My gun is one way I can help do that." I touched her nose with my index finger as I said "YOU", and asked her "What do you so if you EVER see a gun baby?" She looked confused for a moment, until I added "If you ever see a gun you don't touch it, but instead you go get an adult. OK?" I added "one day when you are old enough, your Mama and Daddy will teach you to safely hold and shoot guns.". She said "OK PawPaw", and climbed back up on the couch beside me and asked me again to "tickle my feet PawPaw!". At no time was my precious baby ever able to touch my PPD.
May God bless the children folks. And may they never experience the evil my beloved wife Miss Penny have seen and experienced.
Don.

 

[jar]

Very well done.

 

[mrmike7189]

Yup .my daughter is very curious about guns. I've tried to avoid the subject but eventually had the same type of discussion with her. I've tried to carry my smallest most concealable gun lately as I'm sure she would spot my other guns and ask me the same gun questions everyday.
That would be "mentally draining"

 

[Doc7]

Thanks. Read this, and just asked my son what to do if he finds a gun somewhere. He is 3 years old.
He said “Stop..... don’t touch.... run away.... tell an adult”.

He knows I carry and only brings it up very very occasionally, and never has in the presence of company.

 

[Tallbald]

We are a shooting and PPD carrying family. I guess the conversation was a question that would eventually arise. I just didn't expect it at that particular moment. Don.

 

[WheelGunMan]

Very well handled!

 

[FROGO207]

Those little ones are like a sponge when it comes to learning at that age. Good job on the hot seat too. I also tell them that it is better if nobody else knows about me carrying because they might take it and our "protection" away. Growing up I was always told I would get it good if I touched a firearm without permission and when old enough they would teach me how to shoot. Worked out well for me for these 60+ years.

 

[jeepnik]

I took a different route with my boys. The first time they ask, I checked to see if the revolver was empty as they watched. Then handed it to them. During this I told them about not pointing it at any one, or touching the trigger. I made darned sure they understood they were never to touch a gun without their mother or me being there.

They could hold them as often as they wanted under these rules. After a bit the fascination wore off. When it came time to teach them to shoot, they already understood the safety rules, and could make sure most types of firearms were safe (hey, slides are tough for a little guy).

 

[Fiv3r]

My daughter is 8 and not really into guns of any kind. She knows I own them. She knows I carry one. She knows to never touch any gun.

When she was 3 or 4 I started talking to her about guns and how if they are mishandled they could hurt her very badly. If you see one, don't touch it. Leave the area and get an adult, preferably me. If she is ever at a friends house and they or a sibling get out a gun, leave. Go outside. Do not go near them. Find an adult to make the situation safe and have them call me.

She's really good about remembering what I say. One day I took an empty cap and ball revolver (no powder, no ball, no caps, etc) and left it right on the floor of the room where she put her shoes on before we went to day care and hid around the corner in the kitchen and listened. She started putting her shoes on, kinda talking to herself like she would do. Then an audible gasp before she came running in... "Daddy. A gun...a gun...there is a gun. A gun! I didnt touch it!"

I chuckled and told her she did such a great job, secured the gun back in my safe, and we stopped for a donut on the way to daycare because she had acted so safely.

Never had an issue or any curiosity about guns. She does have a bit of anxiety about a break-in. We were talking about it one night before bed. She was asking if the doors and windows were locked. I said yes plus there are motion cameras that report right to my phone at all times. She asked if our dog would wake up and bark if they forced their way in. I fibbed a bit and said yes (that old dog cant hear a thing anymore), but it made her feel better. Then I asked her why she was so concerned about it. We never had an issue in the past and live in a good neighborhood. I asked her if she knew I would keep her safe no matter what and that anyone coming into this house to try and hurt her would have a very bad day. That little tender heart worries about everyone, she said, "Yes, but I'm worried what you'd do to them. I think you would hurt them really bad."

I'm not sure if I should smile or correct her ridiculous assumptions about her father or just soak in the feeling of bad***itude while she still thinks of me that way.

 

[If1HitU]

Well said Tallbald.

 

[ontarget]

I took a different route with my boys. The first time they ask, I checked to see if the revolver was empty as they watched. Then handed it to them. During this I told them about not pointing it at any one, or touching the trigger. I made darned sure they understood they were never to touch a gun without their mother or me being there.

They could hold them as often as they wanted under these rules. After a bit the fascination wore off. When it came time to teach them to shoot, they already understood the safety rules, and could make sure most types of firearms were safe (hey, slides are tough for a little guy).

That's how I did it with my kids and now grandkids. I could leave a pistol on the kitchen counter and they would walk right past it as if it was a fork. No childish curiosity at all because they know they will be able to handle my guns any time if they just ask first. Of course I don't just leave them laying around, but the kids see my EDC every day.

 

[MedWheeler]

My daughter was about that age when I started doing the same with her. She never actually asked why I carried, but I did explain what guns are, a little about why I own them and carry one, and let her watch the NRA Eddie Eagle videos as much as she wanted to (which was a lot back then!)

Then, every now and then, I'd leave a realistic, non-firing replica somewhere where she would come across it. Each time, she would let me know she had found it, either telling me that I'd left a gun out, or asking me why it was there. I would respond by telling her that it was indeed to see if she'd respond properly, though I never told her the gun wasn't real. (I'd tell her that it was a "test" simply to prevent her from thinking that I found it okay to leave a gun lying around.)

She also knows that, if she ever wants to handle one, she needs only to let me know, and we'll make it happen. So far, she has not (and she's ten now), and seems to have little, if any, curiosity about them at this time.

She has shot AirSoft, and has an AirSoft pistol that we consider hers, but it stays locked up with my other guns. It's likely that that gun, along with other AirSoft and BB/pellet guns, will be coming out soon as the weather here becomes a bit more mild.

 

[SHOOT1SAM]

Have ALWAYS told my kids, nieces, nephews, etc., that ANY time they wanted to look at and/or hold any of my guns, all they had to do was ask & I would be glad to show them and let them handle them. Nothing, and I mean...NOTHING, holds as much intrigue, especially for kids, as something that is forbidden...just ask that one lady named Eve.

Sam

 

[buck460XVR]

Very well handled!

While I agree, I also realize that the cognitive thinking of a 4 year old is fairly limited. My sons and grand-kids have all been introduced to firearms at a young age. My boys and grandson took to guns and playing army at a very young age. Hard to instill not to "point" a gun, even a toy gun, at anyone, when they are only 3 or 4. I would take the gun away and put back in the "locked" toybox(i.e. gunsafe). The same one they had to ask to have unlocked, before they could play with them, until they became responsible. While you did have a great teaching moment, it goes on forever, even for us old farts.

 

[WheelGunMan]

While I agree, I also realize that the cognitive thinking of a 4 year old is fairly limited. My sons and grand-kids have all been introduced to firearms at a young age. My boys and grandson took to guns and playing army at a very young age. Hard to instill not to "point" a gun, even a toy gun, at anyone, when they are only 3 or 4. I would take the gun away and put back in the "locked" toybox(i.e. gunsafe). The same one they had to ask to have unlocked, before they could play with them, until they became responsible. While you did have a great teaching moment, it goes on forever, even for us old farts.

I was speaking of his quick response to a child's inquiry as to why he was wearing a gun. Most times the simplest answer is the best one as they are already moving onto their next question. At that age they are all about observing and discovering.

 

[buck460XVR]

I was speaking of his quick response to a child's inquiry as to why he was wearing a gun. Most times the simplest answer is the best one as they are already moving onto their next question. At that age they are all about observing and discovering.

Sorry WGM, I didn't mean to come off like I was criticizing anyone. Just many times folks tend to think that children at a very young age have the same thought processes that we do as adults. It's not that those young kids don;t want to process that information....it's cause they can't. While I think the OP's anecdotal explanation of why he was carrying a weapon was cute and probably correct to him, odds are it went right over the head of his grand-daughter.

 

[WheelGunMan]

Sorry WGM, I didn't mean to come off like I was criticizing anyone. Just many times folks tend to think that children at a very young age have the same thought processes that we do as adults. It's not that those young kids don;t want to process that information....it's cause they can't. While I think the OP's anecdotal explanation of why he was carrying a weapon was cute and probably correct to him, odds are it went right over the head of his grand-daughter.

No offense taken on this end.

I wouldn't be to sure about the comment going over her head. I have two grandchildren who are now 6 and 8 who over the last couple of years have never ceased to amaze me with their perception of what is going on around them. Their observations of things have been spot on. And at times their perspective has an innocence that is brutally honest.

 

[DannyLandrum]

Absolutely. Not a theist, but works for me. Great job. Yep, like the NRA suggests, rules for 7 and under are "Stop. Don't Touch. Leave the area. Tell an adult."

 

[Legionnaire]

My firstborn taught me that I needed to think about kids and guns. When he was about four, he developed an irrational fascination with toy guns. If we were at someone else's house and their kids had toy guns, my son went bonkers. I mean big eyes hyper ventilate that's so cool can I play with it can I have one do we have to go home now crazy.

So I took him to Toys-R-Us. Didn't tell him what we were doing, and when we got to the toy gun section he could not believe it. We selected a nice pump action shotgun that fired suction darts. He was crazy excited. On the way home we talked gun safety--I made him memorize the four rules. He was not allowed to point the gun at another person. When he wasn't using it, it had to be stored in a "safe place" where his two-year-old sister could not get it. The ammo (darts) had to be stored separately. We treated it like a real gun in almost every way (exception being he was allowed to shoot targets indoors).

It didn't take long--a couple of weeks at most--before the novelty began to wear off. It wasn't long after that that his grandfather let him start shooting a BB gun when we visited, and at age six or so he graduated to .22s. He received his first hunting rifle, a Model Seven in .243, for his eleventh birthday.

What I learned was that my kids needed to have their curiosity assuaged. After that first toy gun, all my kids were introduced to guns early. They learned safety and understood that they could handle my guns (with supervision) any time they wanted. They learned that not everyone was careful around firearms, so they should follow the "stop, don't touch, leave the area, tell an adult" drill if they came in contact with a gun where there was no adult supervision. I insisted they all learn to shoot safely and well, even if they didn't have an interest in shooting as a hobby. One can't "gun proof" society so I decided to "gun proof" my kids. I look forward to doing the same with my grand kids when they are old enough.

So good on you. Answer a child's questions. It's worth the thought and effort.

 

[Browning Guy]

My grandson and my first lesson in pistol carry was when he was about 4 or so. I conceal carry at 4:00 inside waist. One day as I walked in the house he launched off the couch and flew across the room yelling "Grandpaaaaaaa" to give me a hug. He wrapped my thigh in a hug at the same time there was a resounding "thunk" as his forehead found my pistol. He kind of stumbled back, blinked his eyes and rubbed his forehead as he looked at me questioning. Then he walked around to the other side and finished my hug. He learned where Grandpa's pistol was and Grandpa learned to intercept hugs quicker.

 

[buck460XVR]

I wouldn't be to sure about the comment going over her head. I have two grandchildren who are now 6 and 8 who over the last couple of years have never ceased to amaze me with their perception of what is going on around them. Their observations of things have been spot on. And at times their perspective has an innocence that is brutally honest.

You are helping me make a point. Huge difference between the cognitive ability of a 6-8 year old than a 4 year old. Especially when it comes to making decisions based on consequences of our actions. I'm all for educating children at a very young age about respecting firearms and their dangers. Same with the dangers from so called "Bad Guys". But sometimes at a very young age, they really don't have the mental abilities needed to keep them safe. Taht's why we need to put guns out of the reach of them and continuously re-enforce the "do not touch".

 

[WheelGunMan]

You are helping me make a point. Huge difference between the cognitive ability of a 6-8 year old than a 4 year old. Especially when it comes to making decisions based on consequences of our actions. I'm all for educating children at a very young age about respecting firearms and their dangers. Same with the dangers from so called "Bad Guys". But sometimes at a very young age, they really don't have the mental abilities needed to keep them safe. Taht's why we need to put guns out of the reach of them and continuously re-enforce the "do not touch".

WheelGunMan said:
I have two grandchildren who are now 6 and 8 who over the last couple of years have never ceased to amaze me with their perception of what is going on around them.

Not really...I chose my words carefully. I really doesn't matter who said what...what's important is the last sentence in your statement.