Tell Me About Texas

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I think I can sum this up for you in a joke

I think I can sum this up for you in a joke.
The joke:(Warning if you are among the habitually offended skip the joke):D
The other day my girlfriend and I were fooling around, we start to get passionate and she looks deep into my eyes and says in a very sexy husky voice,”Oh baby I want you to kiss me where I am hot and sticky”, me being the pleaser that I am I did what she told me. I took her to Beaumont and kissed her. Don't worry I'll do it for y'all (Groan that was awful)!!!:barf: :barf:

The serious part:
However this does sum up the weather most of the time in the coastal plains areas, this is the reason that my German immigrant ancestors settled in Central Texas it may get hot but at least it is dry.
The economy can be a bit dodgy at times, around Austin we used to have a good selection of Techie jobs however the internet crash did away with most of them. One of the other reasons for the job market depression seems to be that any time some manufacturer wants to move here or open a new plant or expand an existing one they are inundated with numerous environmental law suits from the heads of the Communist Liberal Greenie Agenda and in the end it is cheaper to go elsewhere.
The gun laws are fairly easy to live with, this combined with a robust statewide rotational gun-show circuit and a fairly good hunting environment make it fairly easy to make a living selling guns and accessories.
Bottom line if you want to get a good look at the state as a place to move I would suggest a vacation to the area you might want to move to to see if you like it. If you choose Central Texas remember that Travis County is the home of the State Capitol and The University of Texas and so it is a Liberal Commie Mecca full of politicians, bums, hippies, lawyers and weirdos. There are some regular folk but they are growing harder to find every day.
The point of all of all of this rambling is to say I love it here despite some of it's drawbacks and if you think you would like it here then welcome neighbor.

DarthBubba
 
enfield303 said:
Sounds great, Y'all(did I use that right?). The only things keeping me here are my family and my church. I have been considering this for a while. Lubbock sounds awesome(is that word allowed in Tejas?). As for the ladies, I am single, but, as stated before I am kind of a Yankee. Would that cause problems?:D Or does Iowa not count?
Click to expand...


No being a yankee won't hurt your chances with the ladies...being a jerk will....sometimes that goes hand in hand.;)

As for Texas vernacular....."sounds great, Y'all" is a bit too formal and will immediatly identify you as an outsider. Try "Ya'll got that right" or "Yeeehaaawww!!!" (note: the yeehaw is a Texas tradition and should only be used in times of great general excitement. The improper use of a yeehaw will appear mocking to Texas and may lead to a whuppin).

The word "awsome" is used in Texas, though generally not in the same sentence as the word "Lubbock"....trust me.

Iowa is definantly a yankee state, but hey, it ain't New York City, so don't sweat it. And finally remember, Texas is great cause it's full of Texans....if you come from Iowa or California or wherever and try to do the same things here the way you did them there, you will eventually turn Texas into Iowa, or California and ruin it for everyone...then you'll have to pounce on some other unsuspecting state.:D
 
If you DO decide to come to Lubbock, just understand there are a few rules for living here....

________________________________________________________

Lubbock has many houses of worship. The two largest are Jones Stadium and United Spirit Arena.

Lubbock has the annual "Taste of Lubbock". This is not to be confused with the event during dust storm season, known as the "Taste of Lubbock Landscape".

Lubbock is tolerant of all sexes, temperaments, races, creeds, colors, and sexual orientations just as long as they are a good coach.

Lubbock encourages economic growth by putting all the liquor stores are just outside the city limits. That way, you support the local economy by having to buy a couple of gallons of gas and an extra sixer for the drive home.

The two biggests sports in Lubbock are 1) Tech Football, and 2) the drunken brawl after the game. The drunken coach DURING the game, however...

Lubbock has a ten-year wierdness cycle. In the early 70's it was a tornado. In the early 80's it was the expected appearance of the Virgin Mary. In the early 90's it was an earthquake (okay, so it was actually in Odessa. Close 'nuff). In the early 2000's it was a Tech professor making up stories about destroying a batch of deadly viruses. Statisticians predict the cycle will continue in the early 2000-teens when a Lubbock driver will intentionally use a turn signal.

The two hardest things to find in Lubbock are bad barbeque and a good parking space near Texas Tech.

The Lubbock paper publishes a daily prayer on the front page. It's appropriate given the fact that there isn't a prayer of finding anything else worth reading in there.

Yes, we have a newscaster who's name sounds like "Abnormal Testes".

All traffic directions begin with "Get on the Loop" and end with "Get off the Loop". Unfortunately they usually omit the middle part - "If you survive the Loop...".

It took 3 decades for Lubbock to forgive Buddy Holly for being a heathen rock & roll singer and finally honor him for being a music pioneer. Given this history, The Dixie Chick's Natalie Maines doesn't stand a chance.

Lubbock has a somewhat successful minor league hockey franchise. They are pretty sure that it is because of the sport's popularity, and that it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it's the only sporting event in Lubbock where you can buy beer.

Sometime in the far future, when archeologists dig up the centuries-old remains of Lubbock, we are pretty sure that the Loop will still be under construction.

AND FOR DEALING WITH THE TYPICAL LUBBOCKITE.....

Lubbock is the heart and soul of West Texas. People from Amarillo, Midland, or Odessa are just wannabes. And don't you forget it.

"Lamesa" can only be properly pronounced by a native. Forget what your high school spanish teacher taught you, it's "luh-mee-suh" and everybody knows it. On the other hand, the word "llano" should conform to all requirements of proper spanish diction. Pronouncing it 'lano' will usually just get you a sympathetic grin, a pat on the head, and a ticket out of town.

Most bizarre actions can usually be accredited to the individual being from Amarillo.

An hour of the-end-is-near wind, thunder, and lightning will produce no rain, while a small cloud north of town will dump enough water in 5 minutes to cause massive city-wide flooding.

Local TV forecasters, being both sadists and manic depressives, will warn you to run for the hills at the first sign of rain, but report grapefruit-sized hail covering the entire south half of Lubbock as "an unconfirmed severe weather event".

It's not a dust storm until you can't see your driveway from your front door. Everything else is "just a little wind and blowing dust".

Lubbock has it's own set of traffic rules. They are as follows:
- Tailgating is mandatory.
- A person intering from a side street is required to wait until you are less than 50 yards away before pulling out into the street.
- The Loop has no beginning, no end, and the speed limit signs are there only as an amusing suggestion.
- The morning rush hour is from 7:55 to 8:05, and the afternoon rush hour is from 4:55 to 5:30. The extra time for evening rush hour is to give you time to pick up some bar-b-que for dinner.
- A traffic jam means you have to wait for the light to change twice.
- One snowflake will means you must drive 20 mph under the speed limit. Four inches of snow or ice requires that you drive 20 mph over the speed limit.
- Actually slowing down for a yellow light will usually result in a call to your insurance agent.
- Entry and exit ramps are there only as a recommendation. Feel free to use any flat spot adjacent to the roadway.
 
Kurt S.-

I lived at Study Butte (pronounced as you noted:) ) in 1979-1980,
so we could have passed each other on 118 numerous times.

We actually resided at John and Lil Baker's place in the Christmas Mountains.

My wife taught at the elementary school.

I spent a lot of time up at Sul Ross. It's definitely got 'character'.;)


**********************************************************
"Anybody who wants to see what real John Wayne movie country looks like needs to get around the Big Bend area at least once in their life."
**********************************************************

Yep. Really nice country with a lot of really nice folks.

Good luck on your return.

I've been thinking about landing there again myself.:D
 
In 1966 the USAF sent me to Texas, San Antonio, Amarillo and then Laredo. My wife and I are Vermonters, born and bread. Yep, there were adjustments to be made. A lot of GI's and their spouses spent a majority of their time bitching. We spent a lot of time in Neuevo Laredo and points beyond. WE enjoyed the culture imensly and were dissapointed when I was shipped overseas. Fast forward to 1996. I had become disabled and winter was becoming pretty tedious. On a whim we booked a flight to San Antonio and rented a car. We decided to move to Eagle Pass. Stayed until 1999 when compelling reasons (Grandchildren ) forced us to return to our homestead in Vt. Sorry if this has been longwinded but what we liked best about Texas was the TEXANS! A truly nicer bunch of folks I don't think can be found.........Essex County
 
I've heard that Texas has some goofy laws about pocket knives. I currently have, and carry on a daily basis, a Kershaw Ken Onion Leek. Am I gonna have to change that?
 
Any real Texan knows this:

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT TEXAS

You ask me what I like about Texas
I tell you it's the wide open spaces!
It's everything between the Sabine and the Rio Grande.
It's the Llano Estacado,
It's the Brazos and the Colorado;
Spirit of the people down here who share this land!

It's another burrito, it's a cold Lone Star in my hand
It's a quarter for the jukebox, boys,
Pllay some songs by your favorite Austin Texas band!

You ask me what I like about Texas
It's the big timber roundneck Nacadoches
It's driving El Camino Real into San Antone
It's the Riverwalk and Mi Tierra
Dancing to the Cotton-eyed Joe
It's stories of the Menger Hotel and the Alamo!
(You remember the Alamo!)

It's another burrito, it's a cold Lone Star in my hand!
It's a quarter for the jukebox, boys,
Play some songs by your favorite Austin Texas band!

Hey, you ask me what I like about Texas
It's Blue Bonnet and Indian paint brushes
Swimming in the sacred waters of Barton Springs
It's body surfing at Freo
It's Saturday night in Del Rio!
Driving across the border for some cultural exchange!

It's another burrito, it's a cold Lone Star in my hand!
It's a quarter for the jukebox, boys,
Play some songs by your favorite Austin Texas band!

It's another burrito, it's a cold Lone Star in my hand!
It's a quarter for the jukebox, boys,
Play the Sons of the Mother Lovin' Bunkhouse Band!




Anyhow, I was born and raised in Texas, I will go back to live and I will die there (if I have it my way ;)) I love Corpus and freedom of the summers. San Antonio has some of the best food and some awesome entertainment and atmosphere. There are numerous other communities that are special in their own way and have a personality all their own. And no, Texas isn't all flat and dry. If you think that, you really need to get out of your hole :neener:

For me, loving Texas and the hot humid weather, the tough people and strong wills, and whatever else people may complain about, that's part of the beauty of growing up with something special in your blood. There's a pride, celebration, comfort and excitement. If you don't understand it, you're not a Texan. I often get made fun of, I think Texas is the best place in the world. But I wouldn't want to have been born or raised any other place. Yes, I have a loyalty to my homestate, dang proud of it too.
 
We have idiots who insist on driving pick-ups and SUVs like German sports cars.
Click to expand...

Don't forget those idiots in sports cars that think that they own the road, and our big pickups are nimble enough to get out of their way quickly.
 
Texas has pretty much anything you want. Mountains? We have 'em. Seashore? Got that too. Like to hunt pheasant and such critters? You head on up northwest and you'll do fine. Duck and geese? Come on down here. Whitetail? Our ranch in Llano County is in the middle of the county with the densest whitetail population in the state. Exotics? Further south a bit down toward Kerrville, there's all sorts of that. Education? Fine universities north, south, and central. Hill country, blackland prairie; and I could go on and on.

Under no circumstances would I live anywhere else.

You can't actually get it until you come and see it for yourself.

Oh, and you have to learn to spell "y'all".

Springmom
 
Aside from the fact that it gets absolutely opressively hot and humid from about June to about October I find my little part of East Texas just peachy!

And everything Springmom said above is correct!
 
Texas does have winters.....in the Panhandle. Otherwise, we have 3 seasons - summer, super summer, and football. And we're being overrun by Yankess and illegals, both of which try to turn Texas into the place they left.
 
There is a pretty strong job market in the larger cities and a lot of growth. People are leaving the rust belt for places in the South like Texas for work. Texas is nice in that you don't have state income taxes and you dont pay sales tax on food.
 
Being Texan - by Bum Phillips

Dear Friends,

Last year, I wrote a small piece about what it means to me to be a Texan. My friends know it means about damned near everything. Anyway, this fella asked me to reprint what I'd wrote and I didn't have it. So I set out to think about rewriting something.

I considered writing about all the great things I love about Texas. There are way too many things to list. I can't even begin to do it justice. Lemme let you in on my short list. It starts with The Window at Big Bend, which in and of itself is proof of God. It goes to Lake Sam Rayburn where my Grandad taught me more about life than fishin, and enough about fishin to last a lifetime. I can talk about Tyler, and Longview, and Odessa and Cisco, and Abilene and Poteet and every place in between. Every little part of Texas feels special. Every person who ever flew over the Lone Star thinks of Bandera or Victoria or Manor or wherever they call "home" as the best little part of the best state.

So I got to thinkin about it, and here's what I really want to say. Last year, I talked about all the great places and great heroes who make Texas what it is. I talked about Willie and Waylon and Michael Dell and Michael DeBakey and my Dad and LBJ and Denton Cooley. I talked about everybody that came to mind. It took me sitting here tonight reading this stack of emails and thinkin about where I've been and what I've done since the last time I wrote on this occasion to remind me what it is about Texas that is really great.

You see, this last month or so I finally went to Europe for the first time. I hadn't ever been, and didn't too much want to. But you know all my damned friends are always talking about "the time they went to Europe." So, I finally went. It was a hell of a trip to be sure. All they did when they saw me was say the same thing, before they'd ever met me. "Hey cowboy, we love Texas." I guess the hat tipped em off. But let me tell you what, they all came up with a smile on their faces. You know why? They knew for damned sure that I was gonna be nice to em. They knew it cause they knew I was from Texas. They knew something that hadn't even hit me. They knew Texans, even though they'd never met one. That's when it occurred to me. Do you know what is great about Texas? Do you know why when my friend Beverly and I were trekking across country to see 15 baseball games we got sick and had to come home after 8? Do you know why every time I cross the border I say, "Lord, please don't let me die in _____"?

Do you know why children in Japan can look at a picture of the great State and know exactly what it is about the same time they can tell a rhombus from a trapezoid? I can tell you that right quick. You. The same spirit that made 186 men cross that line in the sand in San Antonio damned near 165 years ago is still in you today. Why else would my friend send me William Barrett Travis' plea for help in an email just a week ago, or why would Charles Stenciled ask me to reprint a Texas Independence column from a year ago?

What would make my friend Elizabeth say, "I don't know if I can marry a man who doesn't love Texas like I do?" Why in the hell are 1,000 people coming to my house this weekend to celebrate a holiday for what used to be a nation that is now a state? Because the spirit that made that nation is the spirit that burned in every person who founded this great place we call Texas, and they passed it on through blood or sweat to every one of us.

You see, that spirit that made Texas what it is is alive in all of us, even if we can't stand next to a cannon to prove it, and it's our responsibility to keep that fire burning. Every person who ever put a "Native Texan" or an "I wasn't born in Texas but I got here as fast as I could" sticker on his car understands. Anyone who ever hung a map of Texas on their wall or flew a Lone Star flag on their porch knows what I mean. My Dad's buddy Bill has an old saying. He says that some people were forged of a hotter fire. Well, that's what it is to be Texan. To be forged of a hotter fire.

To know that part of Colorado was Texas. That part of New Mexico was Texas. That part of Oklahoma was Texas. Yep. Talk all you want. Part of what you got was what we gave you. To look at a picture of Idaho or Istanbul and say, "what the Hell is that?" when you know that anyone in Idaho or Istanbul who sees a picture of Texas knows damned good and well what it is. It isn't the shape, it isn't the state, it's the state of mind.

You're what makes Texas.

The fact that you would take 15 minutes out of your day to read this, because that's what Texas means to you, that's what makes Texas what it is. The fact that when you see the guy in front of you litter you honk and think, "Sonofabitch. Littering on MY highway."

When was the last time you went to a person's house in New York and you saw a big map of New York on their wall? That was never. When did you ever drive through Oklahoma and see their flag waving on four businesses in a row? Can you even tell me what the flag in Louisiana looks like? I damned sure can't.

But I bet my ass you can't drive 20 minutes from your house and not see a business that has a big Texas flag as part of its logo. If you haven't done business with someone called All Tex something or Lone Star somebody or other, or Texas such and such, you hadn't lived here for too long.

When you ask a man from New York what he is, he'll say a stockbroker, or an accountant, or an ad exec. When you ask a woman from California what she is, she'll tell you her last name or her major. Hell either of em might say "I'm a republican," or they might be a Democrat. When you ask a Texan what they are, before they say, "I'm a Methodist," or "I'm a lawyer," or "I'm a Smith," they tell you they're a Texan. I got nothin against all those other places, and Lord knows they've probably got some fine folks, but in your gut you know it just like I do, Texas is just a little different.

So tomorrow when you drive down the road and you see a person broken down on the side of the road, stop and help. When you are in a bar in California, buy a Californian a drink and tell him it's for Texas Independence Day.

Remind the person in the cube next to you that he wouldn't be here enjoying this if it weren't for Sam Houston, and if he or she doesn't know the story, tell them.

When William Barrettt Travis wrote in 1836 that he would never surrender and he would have Victory or Death, what he was really saying was that he and his men were forged of a hotter fire. They weren't your average every day men.

Well, that is what it means to be a Texan. It meant it then, and that's why it means it today. It means just what all those people North of the Red River accuse us of thinking it means. It means there's no mountain that we can't climb. It means that we can swim the Gulf in the winter. It means that Earl Campbell ran harder and Houston is bigger and Dallas is richer and Alpine is hotter and Stevie Ray was smoother and God vacations in Texas. It means that come Hell or high water, when the chips are down and the Good Lord is watching, we're Texans by damned, and just like in 1836, that counts for something. So for today at least, when your chance comes around, go out and prove it. It's true because we believe it's true. If you are sitting wondering what the Hell I'm talking about, this ain't for you. But if the first thing you are going to do when the Good Lord calls your number is find the men who sat in that tiny mission in San Antonio and shake their hands, then you're the reason I wrote this tonight, and this is for you. So until next time you hear from me, God Bless and Happy Texas Independence Day.

May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies and quick to make friends. But, rich or poor, quick or slow, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.

Note from OP - Texas Independence Day is March 2. For more information, go to THIS weblink.
 
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