The battle of politeness

[rduchateau2954]

I've been looking at super black hawk .44s. I sent an armslist link to my father in law of a sbh that was a bit old and a bit worn for $400. He dismissed it and told me he would sell me his for $450. His sbh is flawless, maybe 50 rounds through it. Virtually a 20yr old brand new gun. 100 rounds of hand loads, another hundred bullets, and a couple hundred once fired shells.

He also expressed interest in my ruger sr9c. Maybe a hundred rounds through it, with a Cleveland holsters iwb holster. I was asking $400 for my ruger.

My ruger goes for $400
His ruger alone goes for $700+

I try to tell him what his sbh is worth and he just shrugs it off and tells me to think up a fair number. I tell him he is the one with the better gun, giving the deal, tell me what you want on top of my gun. So we go back and forth. Etc etc

I hate this kind of stuff, I realize he trying to give me a deal on a gun he doesn't shoot but too far either way may offend him.

What say you? What would you offer?

 

[ArchAngelCD]

Since he seems to want to give you more than he should, that's the way parents are.

Here's my idea, trade your pistol AND holster for the SRH straight up and then take your in-laws out for a nice dinner. Even that might get past him but it's worth a try...

Like I said, that's the way parents are. My daughter-in-law liked my short barrel 20ga Mossberg so I gave it to her. She tried to pay me for about a month until I almost got angry. I did however accept the home cooked seafood dinner she cooked for the wife and I!

 

[Claude Clay]

What say you? What would you offer?


since he is Family I would say Thank You and than find a way,
a something he would like or to have done for him
-detail his car perhaps
-invite him & his wife along on a pre-paid family outing
somewhere

he is doing something that pleases him, accept with grace
and give him right of 1st refusal if you ever sell it

 

[Thermactor]

Invite him out to the range and offer to pay for the trip and the ammo.

 

[rduchateau2954]

That's the thing, he is my father in law, not even that yet officially. I haven't even known him two years.

I feel like there is a fine edge between a deal and taking advantage of his generosity. He is the type of guy that would probably accept any offer and if he felt like he might have been low balled, never say a word.

What I would offer? Honestly I could give him my gun, holster, $300 and feel like I'm getting a killer deal. The ammo, the bullets, the shells. Plus it's his only .44 so I would assume the reloading dies will come in eventually. Plus I know that since I don't have a setup yet and he had been reloading longer than I've been alive that he would have me over at the house to use his setup and load data.

Also I'm pretty sure he has .44spl dies as well.

 

[rduchateau2954]

The detailing and range ideas are great. Both have new vehicles, and neither have a place to shoot around here. I have six years detailing experience. (Although mom had a caddy with a white interior)

 

[txblackout]

I feel like there is a fine edge between a deal and taking advantage of his generosity. He is the type of guy that would probably accept any offer and if he felt like he might have been low balled, never say a word.

.

I would tell him the above. Have a conversation with him as a grown man and he will respect you even more. If he tells you the deal is good, then accept it. Make it up to him by treating his daughter like he would want you to.

You will understand if you have a daughter.

 

[oldbear]

Sir, your F.I.L is trying to give you a nice gift. It's good of you not to want to take advantage. There is a $300.00 difference between the two revolvers, so why not split the price difference, at $150.00 each. If your F.I.L. refuses to take any additional cash, why not treat him and your M.I.L. to a nice dinner and night out? If they are like my family they will like this more than the cash.

 

[Spats McGee]

I feel like there is a fine edge between a deal and taking advantage of his generosity. He is the type of guy that would probably accept any offer and if he felt like he might have been low balled, never say a word.

I would tell him the above. Have a conversation with him as a grown man and he will respect you even more. If he tells you the deal is good, then accept it. Make it up to him by treating his daughter like he would want you to.

I hate to say, "^this," but ^this. You know about the difference in value. You want a good deal, but you don't want to cheat him, either. Tell him that. It's the honest, grownup thing to do.

And as the father of a daughter, I can promise you that treating his daughter right is worth way more than that $300 will ever be.

 

[rduchateau2954]

Lmao I just realized I've been saying father in law. It's STEP FATHER. 26hrs with no sleep does weird things with my brain.

 

[BCRider]

he is doing something that pleases him, accept with grace
and give him right of 1st refusal if you ever sell it

This was my first thought too. Within families this is how such things work.

I'd give him your SR9, the holster and some ammo to go with it. I'd also toss in the assurance that he doesn't ever need to bring beer or wine over for dinners ever again. Or if he's got some sort of favourite higher end hooch he drinks include a bottle of that along with the gun. And another that you keep at your house just for him when he visits. A note on the bottle that it's the "Gun Tithe Booze" can further this and become an inside family joke that he'll appreciate. In such dealings it's often the thought and consideration and not folding cash that counts for so much.

And if it should turn out that you don't like shooting .44Mag and want to pass the gun along I'd talk to him and see if you can find someone in the extended family group to pass on the same good price deal to someone that your step father would appreciate as well. After he basically passed it on to you for so little it's only proper and respectful that you include him in finding the gun a new holder or in its sale.

 

[1KPerDay]

Let him be nice. Buy him a burger. Take him shooting.

 

[g.willikers]

Don't argue over it, just do something extra special for his next birthday.

 

[Zaydok Allen]

I'd offer the gun, holster, and a bunch of ammo if you feel you need to add on. He'll want to shoot it, so get him some decent range ammo as an addition.

Quantity is up to you.

 

[kvtcomdo]

Do what ever he's comfortable with.

As per a previous post; that's the way parents are.

 

[JTQ]

Radio talk show host Dave Ramsey ( http://www.daveramsey.com/specials/...amsey-brand1&gclid=CO2t7eeYpcMCFdgOgQodJAUAzA ) has often commented not to do business deals with family. Everybody loves everybody, but it changes the dynamic at the Thanksgiving table.

For instance…

Step Dad: Would you mind doing "x" for me?
You: I'd love to, but I'm going out of town tomorrow on a business trip.
Step Dad: I really need this done soon.
You: I'll be out of town for two weeks.
Step Dad: Remember that great deal I gave you on that Ruger Super Blackhawk for that little poly SRwhatever you were trying to dump.
You: ?

 

[rhinoh]

OP- so originally he is your Father In Law.
Then later he is not yet your Father In Law and you've only known him 2 years.
Then all of a sudden he is your Step Father.
WTH?

To me any advice given is variable on which he is, once you make up your mind.....

 

[rduchateau2954]

OP- so originally he is your Father In Law.
Then later he is not yet your Father In Law and you've only known him 2 years.
Then all of a sudden he is your Step Father.
WTH?

To me any advice given is variable on which he is, once you make up your mind.....

He is my soon to be step father. He and my mother are engaged.

I was pushing 30 hours without sleep, forgive me.

 

[Salmoneye]

Unless there is something 'super' special about that SBH, then all it is is a 20 year old (current production model) used gun...

Regardless of how many rounds allegedly have been through, you are looking at maybe 60-65% of NIB price for a used gun...

SBH's at Buds list $668...

All IMNSHO, of course...

 

[WVGunman]

Do what ever he's comfortable with.

As per a previous post; that's the way parents are.

Agreed. And I would re-iterate he ALREADY told you what he was comfortable with: $450. There's nothing wrong with taking people at their word. Why second-guess him? He's an adult.

 

[rduchateau2954]

It's not so much what he wants for his, but what I want for mine

 

[walker944]

So give him your gun & gear and $50 and be done with it. As you stated and some just above this post, he gave you his price, and he is an adult. Nothing else needs to be said. How are you perceiving that you are taking advantage of someone who named their own price? It's not like you badgered him down to a ridiculous amount in your favor that he may one day resent. He set the price....do the deal and let it rest.

 

[ku4hx]

We dad's are like that. The phrase I use most often with my two adult "children" is "it is my pleasure". Let him have his pleasure. After all, you sound like you'd reverse the process if he suffered "sellers remorse" and he knows that.

As a father, it's my great pleasure to see my two kids (32yo son and 36yo daughter) use certain items I've given them that over the years I cherished and enjoyed. That includes, but is not limited to, guns. It does my old heart good to see a new generation enjoy them as much as I did. And they already have spoken about doing the same with their kids. It's a loving process ... embrace it. It won't be there forever.

 

[45_auto]

Plus it's his only .44 so I would assume the reloading dies will come in eventually.

Also I'm pretty sure he has .44spl dies as well.

Obviously you've never tried to buy a set of .44 Special dies.

If he has .44 Magnum dies, then there is no doubt that he has .44 Special dies (they're the same thing).

 

[short barrel]

Sounds like you already know he is family and will always be a part of your life. Make him happy. I'd make the trade and tell him if he ever wants it back, all he has to do is ask. Nice to have family.