Dave - I generally agree with nearly all you have to say.
However, I will take (minor) issue with your line:
"There's shotgunners and there's collectors of shotgun paraphenalia...."
Every true shotgunner I've known also collects shotgun paraphernalia. If you don't think this is true, just look around your reloading bench... if you can see it under all the paraphernalia.
I too would be more inclined to fear the guy with the well-worn stock 870 as opposed to the tricked out gadget-tube, but we ALL collect shotgun stuff. Not counting the guns I've got a tremendous amount of stuff. Much is dedicated to reloading, and much is for safety (shooting glasses and muffs and plugs litter my corner of the basement), and some is stuff that I thought I once needed.
I know that your pet peeve is with all of the tactical doo-dads and stuff, and you do definitely have a point. However, whenever there is machinery... shotguns, cars, motorcycles, barbeque grills, etc... there will always be a certain group of people that can't resist tricking them out. It's just human nature. Heck, there's probably someone out there who looked at the pictures of your 870s and thought "Look at that fancy adjustable recoil pad... grumble... grumble... Why, when I was a kid we just shot whatever we had... grumble... grumble... Didn't need no adjustable peep sights, neither... grumble... grumble...".
If someone takes pride in what they've got or made, then I'm not (usually) going to rain on their parade. It's one of the reasons I hate to see folks with high-$$$ shotguns look down on folks shooting beat-up meat guns AND the reverse. If everyone was the same, it'd be pretty boring.
BTW, I do agree with the concept of there being no ultimate weapon. Weapons are simply tools, and particular tools may be very-well suited to particular jobs. The best shotgun in the world is a crappy weapon at 200 yards. The best rifle is nearly useless in a cramped elevator. Artillery is great unless the good guys are too close to the bad guys... and so on.