Trouble @ school today

[HeXeD775]

I need to run something by everyone. I teach my kids about firearms as a means of defense, hunting & how they can be used incorectly. The are also told trillions of times that school is place where there's little or no room for gun related happenings. My boys are age 10 & 7.

Yesterday my younger son was given an instruction by his teacher to go clean up some books whiel other students were also straightening up after some activity. Instead , according to the school admin, he went over to where there were blocks of some sort & decided to build something that resembles a gun & he went around the room pretending to shoot at some of the other kids & after he was done pretended to blow the smoke off the barrel like they do in some movies. He did get in a warning earlier this year for not following directions in his class only 1 other time this year but he has always been taught & never had issue w/ his behavior in school.

He was immediately punished by an in school suspension for the day & sent to the principal's office & having to call home about it, which I feel is an acceptable punishment. When initially questioned he said he saw some movie w/ his brother on TV that has a similar action, but couldn't name the movie. I still have yet to find out what motivated him to act like this.

My first issue w/ this situation is the school principal...she is not someone who is liked by many parents at the school but...when she called home & spoke to my wife she told her that my son was "shooting people like a terrorist" (I would beg to differ b/c he was never taught what terrorists do, he does however know my family were/are in military & I figure he might have been mocking them if anything). I have yet to hear back from his teacher for her side of the story. This principal will get an earfull for calling my kid a terrorist.

My second issue is that he just had his 7th birthday 2 weeks ago & 2 of his presents were a Nerf gun he had wanted the other was a .22 Cricket that he has been dying to go shoot, but due to the ranges not operating on our schedule this could not be done yet.

I desperaterly want all my kids to grow up respecting firearms and knives and to utilize them for the tools they are truly meant to be. My first instinct was to have his prized birthday gifts (Nerf & the .22) permanently taken away due to his actions knowing that would cut him pretty deep, but at the same time that can only hurt him in the long run. Taking things away only temporarily hasn't been very successful w/ him.

He knows this is serious b/c I normally yell when they do something wrong...but I was very calm & quiet & simply told him (in the few minutes I passed by him this afternoon) that things were not going to go well for him in this instance. He doesn't say he has any issues w/ any kids, & didn't seem to be specifically targeting anyone.

In my eyes, he's a little kid who proably saw something & was just acting out (most certainly in the wrong place)...but this cannot go unpunished. I am just curious how would you deal with your own in this instance?

 

[lvcat2004]

Boys doing some pretend shooting among each other is completely NORMAL behavior, except for some "special" kids who like to play with dolls. (not that there is anything wrong with that).

The Principal is just being stupid calling him a "terrorist". Most of us, I believe, grew up doing some pretend firefights when we were 7 or 10 (and still do), and I personally don't see a huge problem with that. It's not like he had a bb gun and shot other kids.

Knowing how sensitive (or ignorant) some people are these days, it may be wise to keep things like that out of school, but I personally believe that punishing him for what I feel is a normal behavior is quite excessive. Remember, us men are hunters, pretending to hunt/shoot from youung age is probably in our DNA....just like girls like to do some pretend nurturing and play with baby dolls and pretend cook and feed the family and such. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it personally.

 

[loop]

I'd be more concerned with him creating a disruption in class.

But, I would also take that as a signal he is bored. That can mean a lot of things, but it may mean he is not being challenged in his education.

I've got a few kids. My oldest is 40 and my youngest is 5. Boys like to play at being the protector, warrior and hunter. One of my boys takes it very seriously. Another likes to show off at it. Yet another likes to avoid confrontation. That's their way and I, as a parent, just learn to live with it.

However, being bored with school is a far more important issue than mimicking behavior involving guns. That child must be challenged or you have a future high school dropout. He may be the smartest one in the class, but boredom will make him think "what's the point."

Kids like that are a PIA, but they will either be your greatest joy or biggest disappointment. They will take much more of your time and effort than the "normal" kids.

My advice is to let the school officials know that play is play and my 7-year-old is not a terrorist. That you are surprised that the teachers cannot maintain order in their classrooms. And, since the child is clearly bored, ask what you can do to engage them in educational projects.

Of my kids I've had two that were exceptionally bright. One graduated from Drake with honors and the other just finished the first grade and they created an honor roll because of his achievements. Another one is dumb as a rock.

I love all my kids. The really bright ones are hard to cope with, though. Challenging them challenges me.

This is not a gun issue. It is a fight for my kid's right to a better education issue.

School officials do not like to see me coming. It means I'm either there to observe a formality or to do battle. I've made them let two kids skip a grade and hold another one back to retake a grade.

The issue here isn't school, teachers or guns. It is you doing what is right for your kid.

Make sure you have all the information necessary to make an intelligent decision and then fight for your kid.

If you don't do it nobody else will.

 

[redranger1]

I agree that his actions meant no harm and had no underlying violence towards other students. He was just pretending. Sounds like it would be a good time to teach him about the right time and the right place to do certain things. If he where my kid, sure he would get into trouble for not following instructions, and rightfully so. The rest of the situation sounds normal to me. And id lay into the principle for calling him a terrorist aswell. She, as a professional, should know better then to blow this sorta thing out of proportion like that. And its people like her that over react and create this ridiculous notion that an imagination is such a horrible thing if its not in their politically correct view. Good luck!

 

[Mp7]

This political correctness Hype gets sooo on my nerves.

When we were hitting each other with sticks in the forest
we were not called terrorists... we were just playing kids.

i guess the opportunistic use of language the last US govt has
displayed after 911 has a lot to do with the wording of nowadays.

 

[HeXeD775]

Thank you

Folks-I really appreciate you comments on this. All of your input is so invaluable.

loop - your second sentance just echoed exactly what my son said to my wife yesterday on the way home from school.

We do like his teacher & from the conversations we have had w/ her it seems that she tends to sail a pretty tight ship in the classroom, but the cirriculum may be a little slow for him.

My son is very energetic...so much so that if he stands still & you grab onto him you can feel him vibrating...much like an epileptic hummingbird on expresso. They are out of school on the 17th...I will s/w the principal (actually leave a message b/c she only takes phone calls for non complaints) & see where this goes.

You all have affirmed for me that punishing him for a "gun related" issue is counter-productive & I can definately twist this into a learning opportunity about the gun issue. He only got a small warning a few months ago for not following another instruction...but never has there been any other issues we that have heard about. Boys are boys...I know b/c that's now my brother & I used to play w/ other kids. I totally believe in lvcat's comment about "pretending to hunt/shoot from youung age is probably in our DNA"...it is just something we do.

 

[Solo]

School definitely overreacted, but the kid should be told that it's not polite to shoot people who aren't playing the game with you.

 

[Titan6]

Lets face it, he did it because he is 7. The teacher did what she did because she has the mental maturity only slightly higher than her students. Good luck with the school. They are so crazed and paranoid you probably won't make much progress with them.

 

[edSky]

When I was a kid we used to watch "Rat Patrol" on TV. (I'm surprised we even had TV back in the stone age.) We would always be playing one of the following:

• Hide and seek
• Army (whatever that means)
• Cowboys and Indians
• Baseball or football

Notice that half the time, when we weren't riding or taking apart our bicycles, we were playing bang-bang games. What is wrong with the world today? We're trying to raise marshmallows instead of kids.

 

[Titan6]

I don't think The Rat Patrol would make it on the tube these days. It was uber-violent. Normally about 100 Nazis died in combat every show. Those some were kind of Jeeps that made the patrol invulnerable to enemy fire.

 

[45Badger]

Ain't life great in south Central PA?

We're in southern York County (southeastern school district) and the safety minded (lawsuit fearing?) school administrators blather on about guns violence, etc. What I have found refreshing is that all of my kids teachers know about our shooting and hunting, and seem to support it. We've been here for 7 years (boys are 11 and 14) and have yet to run into a bliss-ninny. Both kids shoot, and my oldest is a pretty active (if casual) competitor in USPSA and Steel Challenge. They don't hide this at school.

I would not make ANY punishment gun related. If he acted out or disrupted the class, address that. There's nothing wrong with playing "army" or "cowboys & indians" and teachers need to understand (and get over) that fact.

And I loved Rat Patrol! "Army" for me was divvying up the neighbor hood into "us" and the "krauts". Epic/pitched battles across many backyards.....

 

[TiredOleMan]

For Pete's sake the little guy was just goofing around, having raised (2) boys I had to just know when to bring the hammer down. My biggest concern would be with a teacher that couldn't handle a 7 year old on her own.

 

[DeepSouth]

Interesting, as a kid I played, Cops and robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Army, and all kinds of games where I got to pretend to kill people, and I have never gotten "fantasy" confused with reality. Kids have IMAGINATION, if the teacher/principal doesn't understand that they need to find a new line of work.

I would remind my kid to always obey the adults that are in authority over him, (unless they are telling them to do something that is obliviously wrong) Then I would call the teacher/principal and I would inform them of what I told the boy and ask that they not over react in such an absurd manner the next time he used his imagination. I would also tell them that the only problem I saw was that he was not cleaning up books when he was told to, and I would have to ask if that deserved suspension.

One more reason we home school.

 

[Norinco982lover]

Your son's only issue was not obeying the teacher when she told him to do something.

Instruct him that due to your sources you have heard that he may have accidentally released a family secret. Tell him that he should keep his love of guns "secret" at school.

You're doing a good job parenting your sons. I can tell.

~Norinco

 

[testosterone]

Loop,

That is a fantastic response, a total reversal.

awesome.

-T

 

[rbernie]

but the kid should be told that it's not polite to shoot people who aren't playing the game with you

Well stated - IMO, this is the real lesson.

Look - kids play. Many of them play games that involve shooting, hitting, or other non-PC activities. This sort of play is in our DNA, and AFAIAC we all better be dang glad that it is. As such, I will not sanction my children for playing 'war' or engaging in any other martial-looking activity.

It's healthy.

The real issue is that your child's play was inappropriate for the circumstance. THAT is the lesson to teach - how to gauge what is/is not appropriate for the circumstances.

 

[Readyrod]

Terrorist?????? Puuuulease!!!! I teach kids a lot. When they goof around, you tell them to stop. If they don't stop they know the routine, so they usually stop. If the other kids overreact you tell them to stop too. It really shouldn't be a problem. The teacher messed up on this one.
If he is bored, challenge him. Specially in his hobbies. Guns can be tied into science, social science, politics etc.
You should be creative and instructive in your punishment if you decide to do it. Make him write out the four rules of gun safety 50 times and explain them. When he practices them get him a nice .22 as a reward.
Turn this into something positive and it will be good for him.
Good luck.

 

[armoredman]

I had the exact same issue with my 8 year old. I took away some of his video games for a week, and told him he wouldn't get them back without 5 days of perfect behavior in school. He was an angel...he loves his Command and Conquer and Combat Mission games. The school was satisfied, issue dead.
Each kid is differant, but I agree, playing good guy/bad guy is normal as the day is long with boys, with what little I know as a parent of one rambunctious boy. And he might get a CZ 22lr Scout this year, too....

 

[CoRoMo]

The problem is not the kids, the guns, or their imagination.

The problem is the school and the dorks who think up these rules.

 

[MarineOne]

Kids will be kids .... I've got two boys (13 and 10) and believe me when I say that you've got a very smart kid on your hands.

Obviously he's bored in class and I'd recommend to you what I did with mine; educational activities at home. I've got stock in Reader Rabbit .... math, spelling, keyboarding, and both of my boys are A-B Honor Roll.

As for the name calling, I would call or visit with the school board and ask them why my 7 year old is being called a terrorist by the principal, and then ask why my child was suspended (although in-school) without prior notification, and then do like Loop suggested and ask why my child isn't being challenged enough in class to minimize his boredom and keep him focused.

Turn this around on them. I'd have the local media all over this if the principal called either of my children a terrorist for simply playing "Army".




Kris

 

[Old Fuff]

I see some great advise here….

Concerning the school, it is no secret that public schools are dumbing down the curriculum to accommodate the slowest, not the brightest students. This is not necessarily the teacher’s fault, but what seems to be a national policy. Any competent 1st Grade teacher should know that bored 7-year olds would soon start making they're own excitement. As for the question of mimicking a movie show, that could be quite possible, and perhaps you and his mother should keep better tabs on what he’s watching, and a DVD player with parent-selected disks might help. When I was a kid a very long time ago, there wasn’t any TV, and movies aimed at kids were required to be appropriate for youngsters while at the same time being filled with excitement and adventure. Many of them are still available on disk, and sometimes for attractive prices. Today it’s hard to instill safe gun handling practices when TV and games show just the opposite.

Concerning the guns. I suggest that you let him have the toy, but hold back on the real .22 rifle. Explain as you have, that there is a big difference between a “real gun” and toy, and how he behaves with toys, and also how he responds to authority (such as his teacher telling him to pick up books or whatever) shows when he’s “grown up” enough to have the rifle. This would be a combination of punishment combined with setting a goal. When his behavior shows you he can handle responsibility – at school and elsewhere – then he will have his rifle. He will be disappointed of course, but I have a feeling that the will soon be making a big effort in all manner of ways to show you that he can reach that goal, and has.

 

[Superpsy]

He's only 7 but I think previous commenters were right in saying that the issue here is that he shouldn't be playing shooting games with people who aren't playing with him. Unfortunately kids may have to be taught (and it sounds like you've done a great job of this...) that gun related stuff is okay outside of school but never in school. Especially with the crazy zero tolerance policies in schools these days.

No one has responded to your questions about punishment for your kiddo so I'll take a jab at it. I think he should know that he is being punished for pretending to use a gun IN SCHOOL and his behavior was wrong for that specific situation. Something common like grounding, taking away TV for a significant period of time to match the seriousness of situation. Whatever has worked with him in the past. I agree with you that taking away the rifle permanently would be beyond hurtful.

Maybe it may be time to evaluate if he's mature enough to handle a rifle and understand everything I mentioned above (specific situations= shooting games not okay). Perhaps you could put the rifle "on hold" until you judge he's mature enough to handle the responsibility of owning one both in and out of school. He's only 7 and most 7 year olds are ecstatic about a rifle and may not be able to keep a lid on his excitement. This is a pretty personal decision but I'm sure it's something you've thought about. Before I get flamed for this comment let me just say I think it's super disappointing that we've reached this point in our schools where this behavior is considered to be violent. What a crazy world. It's just a 7 year old having fun!

According to the OP the principal compared kiddo's actions to a terrorist. This was stupid and should definitely be addressed but I'd be wary of going overboard by saying, "you called my kid a terrorist." It's a minor distinction but an important one.

 

[John Wayne]

Acting like a terrorist? Hardly.

Maybe if he was sticking Lego blocks and wires into Play-Dough, cutting it up like C-4, hiding it under desks and pretending to detonate it from across the room while chanting "allah, akbar!"

 

[Hungry Seagull]

School Administrator and Rules = Fail.

Boys and Girls doing what they were doing for thousands of years = Pass.

Now... you can go between the lines and punish disobedience or other things and keep kids between the lines.

I take a real dim view of a overly tyrannical school that refuses to allow children to be children. They ought to be diligently eyeballing the PERIMETER of thier property and lands around the childrens class rooms for intruders with guns INSTEAD of sticking head in class room looking for some fantasy gun.

For the kid that viberates standing still... I was one of those. Medication knocked it down a notch but food required if I miss a dose. That was a very long time ago.

The schools I went to had so MUCH physical activity all the day, every day all the time you did nothing but sleep on weekends. THAT was the days.

Today's schools appear to let kids roam for 30 minutes and then sit the rest of the day in chair. No wonder they are stiffly bored.

Today the kid cannot even have a bayer for headache at all or anything in school.

I dont mind children play war across backyards. Daytime, it's all good. I dont care. But at night if I see someone with a gun that appears real.... well..

Enough of my thoughts. I think it is the SCHOOL that has ISSUES not the children.

If this keeps up Im scared that our children will show up at Parris Island unable to mentally focus on the fact that they are NOW permitted.. no, ordered to pick up that weapon...

 

[WinchesterAA]

Boring adults, combined with a bunch of snot nosed brats running around doing chores... cleaning up books? psshaw, let's play instead!