What Caliber for Barney?

[tinygnat219]

Thought I would end the week with a lighthearted post. What gun / caliber combo would you use if Barney the Dinosaur suddenly jumped out of the TV and was chasing your 6 year old around while singing: "I love you, you love me, I am very hungry"?

Me, probably the Winchester Model 1897 Trench Gun with attached bayonet. He'd probably take all 5 Slug rounds and then need to be bayonneted.

Fire away!

 

[DomMega]

My Remington 870 combat shotgun firing Hornady SST slugs. Those rounds were meant for large purple things of extreme annoyance.

 

[Two Cold Soakers]

Barney

Since I'm loving fantasyland, I say 470 NitroExpress, Purdey or Westley & Richards.

Backed up by the wife with a Pre '64 Model 70 in .375 H&H Mag.

Shotguns mess up the trim work.

 

[sb350hp]

hmmm. A club. Any gun would be to quick. Barney needs to pay for the years I spent overhearing his annoying purple @$$ on the TV when the kids were young.

But if it had to be quick! I just can't decide but I would like it to look like it does when I shoot a crow with my 270 w/ ballistic tips

Anyone need a crow feather pillow.

 

[Reddbecca]

I'd prefer to beat him to a pulp first. Just keep laying into him with a good crowbar for a while and get out that repressed aggression.

 

[PotatoJudge]

Just push the neighbor's kid in front of him, grab your kid, and try to sleep at night with the crunching and screaming still ringing in your ears.

 

[mavracer]

+1 club

or maybe louisville slugger

 

[Roadwild17]

I wonder if he can sing his little song while being on fire? Anyone want a cocktail of the Molotov flavor?

P.S. I dont have kids and I missed the barney days, I feel for you guys who had to put up with him.

 

[fattsgalore]

I'm pretty sure the purple suit ain't bullet proof so anything would do nice.
Me personally, I'd shoot him in the groin just so he knew how I felt.

 

[Geno]

I feel bad for you all. We fixed Barney real well. Barney was at one final birthday party. We adults attached about 90 balloons to him, and launched him into the stratosphere. Bye-bye Barney! I have pictures somewhere. I'll post one if I find them. Poor Barney...just floated away...upside-down.

Doc2005

 

[sb350hp]

I am sorry but just the thought of this has "MADE MY DAY" can't help but smile when thinkin about it

 

[Geno]

Haven't you been through the 5th grade Barney song yet?! That should have helped, or will help:

5th-grade Version of the Barney Song:
I hate you;
You hate me;
Let's all go and kill Barney!
With a rake, and hoe, and maybe hatchet too,
One Barney arm and leg for me and you.

I thought they were going to be expelled from school under "Zero Tolerance" as they were singing it.

Doc2005

 

[AirForceShooter]

.58 Cal NERF gun.
That should do it.

AFS

 

[recole]

Barney the DIEnosaur?

Boy, did I need this topic today.
How would I kill the purple dinosaur?
I'd empty my Civil War cannon into him. What ammo?

GRAPE SHOT

 

[jwerlc]

Don't shoot...

There may be other children in his digestive tract that could be saved. He needs to be field dressed to keep from harming them. Prefferably while he is still alive.

 

[tinygnat219]

If he starts singing and the Chorus of kids comes out of nowhere, I think the punt gun rules them all.

 

[Geno]

Know your enemy!

View attachment 297203

Copied from: http://pumpkinmedia.com/barney/barneypics.asp

 

[Moondoggie]

.22 Long Rifle.....


Many, many, many rounds of .22 Long Rifle.

Start with the extremities!

Fire, reload, repeat.

 

[SIRVEYR666]

Okay...now what if Barney is a Zombie? This opens up a whole new can of worms.

Will it work for this guy too?

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What if Grimace is a zombie?

 

[DrLaw]

I'm thinking one of those mini-grenade launching guns that I saw on Future Weapons on the Discovery Channel.

The Doc is out and shuddering at the thought of Barney now.

 

[sb350hp]

How about we run him over with a combine

Or better yet put him through a DR chipper

No no I know. put him in the press that the squished the 1st terminator in

Or drop in in Falujah from 35k feet from a B2 stealth bomber

Or put him in a room for the rest of his life alone w/ only his songs playing on loudly w/ no clocks, windows or interaction with any living creature.

Or Man this if fun. What else can I think of?

 

[DrLaw]

Can't we make it slow?

As slow as his song?
Make it last
the whole day long?...

ARG! This is getting to me now!

The Doc is out now.

 

[LightningJoe]

Barney's very dumb and slow, but he'll take a massive amount of damage and still function. There just isn't any reliable and safe way to shoot Barney. Even 50 BMG would hardly faze him--he might not even notice! Should he become aware of your attack, though, he might become extremely dangerous. You might well inflict a mortal injury on him, but be killed by him while doing so.


A trap or deadfall would probably serve much better than any type of gun.

 

[cracked butt]

You need something with a high sectional density for good penetration and low recoil for fast follow up shots. I reccommend a 6.5 swede.

 

[bogie]

In the first (and last...) annual "St. Louis Computer, Booze, Gun & Duct Tape Society B'Harni Blast," we determined the ultimate weapon.

Target: Gallon jug of grape koolaid.

Weapon: Mossy 500 with a 3" deer slug.

Distance: 7 yards, with wind blowing slightly toward us.

It atomized it - you could taste grape in the air.