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What gun for Santa Claus?

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by PaladinX13, Dec 23, 2005.

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  1. PaladinX13

    PaladinX13 Member

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    It's the night before Christmas and you hear a sound outdoors... oddly, on your roof. Further, you hear the sound of something coming down the chimney... and to make things worse you don't even have a chimney! What do you arm yourself with to repel his home invader? Or do you let him come and go despite not getting your express consent?
     
  2. dracphelan

    dracphelan Member

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    First, I shoot him with my 1911. Then, I head outside with my Savage 30-06 and get me some backstrap! :evil:
     
  3. Omni04

    Omni04 Member

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  4. sm

    sm member

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    Between black coffee, and shiftn' gears
    Forget Fat Guy in Red Suit...

    ...I'm going for the Reindeer. :p

    In fact I have already made plans with Spinner in New Zealand. We are not sure which Route FGIRS [Fat guy in red suit] will be using. So our plans are: I use 12 ga slugs to get my half of meat and Spinner uses ...he ain't sure yet. Seems he likes my idea of letting them Reindeer come at you, shoot, so they fall at your feet.

    You folks can do all that dragging, grunting and straining ya want. Personally I like simple. :D

    "So Steve how far you lead a Reindeer?"
    "About a foot more than a Stork".

    Sheesh...doesn't anyone pay attention around here? :p
     
  5. mbs357

    mbs357 Member

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    I dunno.
    Them guys fly all around the world...constantly chugging their legs.
    Gotta be tough meat. =/
     
  6. sm

    sm member

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    Primarily interested in the back straps.

    Figured if I give the antlers to the Great Pumpkin, scare the heck out of folks and the Great Pumpkin won't get shot.

    Down on 9th street the House of Ill Repute needs a new red light bulb.

    I gots this figured out.
    Leave a Southern Boy alone and let me do my thing.

    What you do is wear jeans, tennis shoes, wax cotton coat and go outside to smoke. Just a regular old pump gun with slugs. I shoot from low gun anyway, and being so smooth getting gun to face...fast too...never know what hit 'em.

    Puff...bang, bang, bang...plop, plop, plop...

    I dunno, it'll be raining deer - figured thats why they are called Reindeer.

    Not native here in the South. Makes sense to me.

    Smoke...where is Smoke, you wanna piece of this action? Won't even have to get the Q-Beam out. These deer come "pre-lit".

    Be like "sing along with Mitch" - just follow the bouncing ball....follow the red nose, cover the nose, slap trigger , pull through.

    :evil:
     
  7. tegemu

    tegemu Member

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    I'm a fat guy, whitehair and full beard, blue eyes, wire rimmed glasses, rosy cheeks, have been seen in a red suit at this time of year, and known as Santa. I carry a 1911 - Careful
     
  8. tube_ee

    tube_ee Member

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    Shotgun...

    Gotta hit him on the "wing"... Roof sluicing is frowned upon where I hunt.

    --Shannon
     
  9. Sheldon J

    Sheldon J Member

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    Hay guys don't forget the "Santa Caluse" that could make you could be the next target.:D
     
  10. thereisnospoon

    thereisnospoon Member

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    That's just soooo wrong on sooooo many levels...
     
  11. HighVelocity

    HighVelocity Member

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    Forget about Santa, what about the onslaught of Zombie Elves that's coming? :evil:
     
  12. grimjaw

    grimjaw Member

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    As humorous as this thread is, why don't we take a different route?

    What would Santa Claus carry?

    jmm
     
  13. bfox

    bfox Member

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    You said what would Santa carry .
    Wasn't there a post on here about ugly guns ?
    There was a real ugly red and green 1911 if I remember right .
    Maybe that was Santa's

    Merry Christmas , Bill
     
  14. therealsteamer

    therealsteamer Member

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    break out the......

    COOKIE CANNON!!!!!! and milk grenades................
     
  15. 2k5Adam

    2k5Adam member

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    Santa would carry:
    1. a Springfield 1911A1 Mil-Spec loaded with Speer Golds and Trijicon night sights on his hip,
    2. an HK USP compact 40 concealed IWB,
    3. and have a snub nose S&W 38spl arould his ankle,
    4. and a Rem. 870 pistol grip stashed under his "dash."
    *Not to mention the Benchmade boot knife, tucked in beside his nice, warm wool socks.*

    When flying through DC, NYC, or San Fran's "rough" areas, he has his sleigh outfitted with:
    1. two Colt M4-A3's
    2. and two AK-47's *full auto* manned by the elves,
    3. and his trusty MP5 if things get ugly.

    Ammo cans line the floorboard, all filled with quality rounds. Hollow points for the pistolas and some incindiery rounds for the AK-47's (just for fun!). :D :neener:
     
  16. Mot45acp

    Mot45acp Member

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    Someone Help!!!

    There is a song by Wierd Al Yankovic called Christmas At Ground Zero
    If somebody with better cpu skills than I could post a link or somethin,it would go well with this thread.
    Anything with the line "But if someones comin down your chimney, you better load your gun and shoot to kill." needs to be heard by all here
    thanks
     
  17. 2k5Adam

    2k5Adam member

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    It's Christmas at Ground Zero
    There's music in the air
    The sleigh bells are ringin' and the carolers are singin'
    While the air raid sirens blare

    It's Christmas at Ground Zero
    The button has been pressed
    The radio just let us know
    That this is not a test

    Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin'
    It's the end of all humanity
    No more time for last minute shoppin'
    It's time to face your final destiny

    Well, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
    There's panic in the crowd
    We can dodge debris while we trim the tree
    Underneath a mushroom cloud

    [siren]

    You might hear some reindeer on your rooftop
    Or Jack Frost on your windowsill
    But if someone's climbin' down your chimney
    You better load your gun and shoot to kill

    Oh, it's Christmas at Ground Zero
    And if the radiation level's okay
    I'll go out with you and see the all new
    Mutations on New Year's Day

    It's Christmas at Ground Zero
    Just seconds left to go
    I'll duck and cover with my yuletide lover
    Underneath the mistletoe

    It's Christmas at Ground Zero
    Now the missiles are on their way
    What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
    On this jolly holiday
    What a crazy fluke we're gonna get nuked
    On this jolly holiday

    [siren]

    :D
     
  18. 22-rimfire

    22-rimfire Member

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    I'm hoping for snow so I can find tracks. Shouldn't be too hard to spot the sleigh and reindeer tracks on rooftops. Santa probably has a bullet proof sleigh, kind of like the pope mobile. Probably has 20mm cannons on the sleigh. Doesn't need to carry.
     
  19. Mot45acp

    Mot45acp Member

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    Thanks

    Thanks 2K5Adam it was just what I was looking for
     
  20. Mizzle187

    Mizzle187 Member

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    :D :D :D Mmmmmm!!! Reindeer backstrap! Santa would look like Rudolph with my P99's M6's laser on his nose! ;)
     
  21. cz75bdneos22

    cz75bdneos22 Member

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    i've got the glock G20 with ameriglo night ghoust ring sights...i've got the surefire ready set to stunn...and two full mags of 15 rounds of 10mm loads...i'm reeeady!!!:p
     

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  22. cz75bdneos22

    cz75bdneos22 Member

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    S&W .500 revolver...:eek:
     
  23. f4t9r

    f4t9r Member

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    Santa would carry a SIG P220
    and AR15
     
  24. outofbattery

    outofbattery Member

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    I've always worked off the assumption that Santa is a government agent.Wears a uniform,knows if you're naughty or nice and determines if you're worthy of a gift once a year...Only makes sense to me.It didn't take much more specious reasoning to figure out who he works for based upon what sorts of presents he usually leaves for me so I decided to put out a plate that's a little better than just milk and cookies.Yeah,I know-I couldn't swing any good hooch after coughing up for the SIG and Cohiba to bribe him with but I heard he's a guzzler anyway.


    [​IMG]
     

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  25. geekWithA.45

    geekWithA.45 Moderator Emeritus

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    Everyone knows that Santa is a Sith Lord.

    [​IMG]
     
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