I had heard that xd and xdm are beating glocks in competitions.
I don't know if that's true or not, but does it really matter to you? I thought this was a "defense gun." Guns that work in competition are not necessarily an indication of what you'd need if your life were on the line.
Don't get me wrong, the XD/XDM are great guns and a solid choice. I'm just pointing out that competitions are not really an indication of which tool would work best for you here.
Now, you also mentioned "full capacity" but listed guns like Glock and XD in the same breath as 1911. Of course, a 1911 with an 8 round mag IS full capacity for that gun, but not in the same capcity league as say, a Glock 17 with its 17 round magazine more than doubling the capacity of a Glock.
I'll add again, that doesn't mean a 1911 is a bad gun to use for SD. It's exceptionally good.
Just figure out which things are important to you and work off of those.
So far it sounds like you want something that is dead-nutz reliable, with no regard to size, simplicity of operation, and a preference for something with a little more power than 9mm (although you wouldn't rule out 9mm).
Right now Summit has a great deal on the
Glock 22.
with night sights. They are police trade ins. Sounds like it might be right up your ally, assuming you know what your ally is at this point.
I think any of the crop of modern striker fired pistols might meet your criteria, especially because of wanting simplicity of operation. No safeties to think about.
Look at S&W M&P, Glock, XD/XDM for starters. Branch out and really do research.
You might even find that you'd prefer a hammer fired da/sa once you start looking.