You might be a gun nut if... (my apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

[Poor East Texan]

Guilty as charged!

One reason voter fer sure! (when I want to put an Obama negative out there it's "if he had his way he would make us all criminals by banning our guns" and I usually get nods.

Looking at old magazines and shotgun news and pining away about the cool stuff I don't have.


BTW I voted early today and I bet you can't guess how!

 

[natecade1]

...All your guns have names.... and answer to them.

 

[effengee]

Keep 'em coming!!!

OMG! I have a son named Colt James but we call him C.J. so much I forgot when I wrote this that my first-born is named after a gun. My wife's idea by the way, which is why I am still a happily married man.

All of these are great! I laughed so hard that I decided that we should just keep this going...

You know the street address to at least six gun shops.
If you actually drool when you see a "true" Brown Bess.
You have more annual memberships to gun magazines than you can possibly read in one year.

 

[Diamondback6]

If Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris, Fred Thompson and God Himself have you on their "SHTF" speed-dialers.

 

[jjohnson]

Been there, done that.

...If you know you have a firearm somewhere in your house that you can not find.

(It actually applied to me once but I found it.)

Yes.... more than once...... happens two or three times a year.

How about:

You start a new job that doesn't allow firearms on their property, and unloading your pickup truck is like unloading a helicopter gunship....

You discover guns you forgot you had when you're looking for something else.

You invite friends to come to the range with you just to shoot up some of your old reloads so you can load them all over again.

Your birthday and Christmas gifts to kids in your family all come from Ruger.

You treat every gun you own as if it were loaded, becuase for the most part, it is.

You don't dream about orgies anymore, but you dream about being at the gun range.

You plan your life around the almanac, so you're reloading in foul weather and live at the range when the weather's better.

They stop checking your member ID at the gun range, and instead, reserve a parking spot for you.

The guys at the gun range that you don't even know come up to you and ask you where you've been if you come back from a vacation.

Nobody checks your ID anymore on ammo purchases because they know your date of birth.

The mailman hates your guts because he's always delivering flat rate boxes to your house containing the limit allowed - all cast bullets.

You develop personal relationships with ATF agents because they know you're a "bit off, but make really good coffee" when they visit.

 

[Jaybird78]

Your in-laws call to wish your wife happy birthday and they ask, "What is Jaybird doing?" and the wife replies, "He is looking at gun stuff on the internet." and the in-laws reply , "Imagine that!"

You had to be there and we both had a good laugh.

 

[Roadwild17]

When you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and jab your big toe on the newest ammo can that has yet to be painted in your current style of camo.

 

[General Geoff]

...you know your state and local gun laws better than your attorney.

 

[Caeser2001]

Burt Gunner has a framed picture of you in his rec room

 

[Restorer]

...If you're tired of using the same ol' 61 DuraCoat colors over and over and you watch for new releases.

...If you make accurate acronyms from your gun model numbers. Example: AK-47 equals Always Keep 47.

...If you get caught daydreaming at work or school and what you were thinking about involved creating new targets of things you haven't shot... yet.

...You had to call-block Ted Nugent because he just wouldn't stop calling about taking him hunting.

 

[jackdanson]

Your UPS guy hates you.

That's not accurate!! I get excited when I deliver ammo, I get to talk to all my fellow gun-nuts when I deliver it. Ups guy hates you if A. You leave your (aggresive) dog out. B. You don't have a clear address out front (this is esp. true if you are out in the boonies an the next house is a mile down the road)

 

[russcoh]

If the guns in your car are worth more than your car!!

 

[russcoh]

I almost hate to admit this, however it's a true story and bears repeating. An old friend of the family back in Minnesota was mad at the TV programming, shot the TV with his girlfriend and kids in the house, and couldn't understand why she left him..

 

[speedball]

If you spread the ammo cans around the house because you are worried about cracking the foundation in the one room you had them in

 

[TAB]

When you get your copy of the "blue press" you can actually find the gun on the cover.

I've been told they have guns on the cover... I have never found one.

 

[evan price]

{true story}

Might be...if...

After a period of passionate physicality with your wife, you discover that the bedframe had split and broken in half at the post- however neither of you noticed because the large number of military-surplus ammo crates under the bed prevented anything from falling.

 

[Dr. Tad Hussein Winslow]

My oh my these are funny... call-block Ted Nugent, tee hee.


Guilty as charged on many, including .22 shells and primers stuck in shoes, helping customers at gun stores - lol, when I see all the salesmen are busy and a customer is looking around for help, I will ask if I can help them, and usually I can!

You plan your life around the almanac, so you're reloading in foul weather and live at the range when the weather's better.

I do that both for the gun range and hunting...

 

[Tadman]

...If you know you have a firearm somewhere in your house that you can not find.

Dambbit man! Now I have to try to remember where they all are:banghead::banghead:
:banghead:

 

[young hunter]

hahaha . #62 fits me exactly . #40 fits me also . I am going to use dummy artillery rounds to make a bed frame .

 

[BobOfTheFuture]

"...You don't play Counter-Strike and CoD4 because the parameters of the guns in the game 'aren't really like that in real life'."

This drives me up a wall!

Nothing like being killed through a wall by a guy with a MP5....

 

[MagnumDweeb]

Even though you bench nearly four-hundred pounds and curl hundred pound dumbells and do Skull Crushers with with two hundred pounds, you still feel you need a .44 Magnum in your IWB holster.

When you push a new max powerlifting you think of how great it'll be to have more control over your magnums and look forward to the day you can shoot a .500 S&W Magnum one-handed like it's a .22lr revolver.

When you are at the gym you talk to recently immigrated foreigners about going out the range and you take them.

You refer to Anti's in unkind names.

You are on thehighroad while checking your Etrade account and doing stock picks.

You base how much you net making money gambling or playing the stockmarket in how much ammo, project guns, or expensive guns.

You dream of a day you can own ten acres of land with your own small homemade range and licensed legal blackpowder mill.

You can explian the origins of the AK-47, M-16, BAR(Browning Automatic Rifle), .44 Magnum, .357 Magnum, 1911, Luger (that it was actually the Swiss to first adopt it as a military firearm), etc. etc.

Well I'm guilty of all of those.

 

[MikePGS]

...you memorized math formulas and material sciences for the sake of compiling ballistics to make sure the internet ones were correct, and you aren't actually good at math.

what, so your saying its wrong that i'm constantly calculating energy in foot-lbs?
(Velocity Squared x Weight in grains) /450400

 

[woodybrighton]

my LT
you buy and AR7 because it fits in the poachers pocket of your barbour
you buy two stainless steel .357s because the platoon is going sea kayaking and terrorists might be waiting on the shore line and a normal 357 might corrode in 4 hours
you buy a pair of chromed inthaca 37s as a joke when invited grouse shooting
when they banned semi auto rifles he cried

 

[Coyote Rider]

Your mailbox looks like this:

 

[A.M. Baer]

you know a gun stores inventory better than the owner, before the owner.

the local (and non local) gunsmiths call you for advice on fixing a firearm.

that gunsmith sends that firearm for you to fix.

you think Burt Gummer went TOO FAR when he blew up his firearm-filled bunker.

you know more about an M16 than the local USMC Recruiter/former Armorer.

you cry when an origonal M1 Garand is taken down, because it reduces the rifle's accuracy perminantly.

you know that an AP round out of your '06 will go through that armored vehicle like butter.

you are never called for jury duty because you always determine the Second Amendment to be an individual right, regardless of what the case is about.

the sign in your front lawn says "PALIN - McCain".

your world history book is a Lyman 47th Reloadnig Handbook from 1992; just below the Good Book.