Military posers and wannabes

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If you encounter a military poser, send them over to military.com and let the NCOs there take care of them. They're the most doggedly persistent and unforgiving bunch I've ever run across. For some reason, the posers gravitate toward Marines--especially Force Recon--and Green Berets. A lot of them invent service in the Vietnam war, and thy're pretty easy to out. I actually feel sorry for most of them, having to invent credentials. :rolleyes:

TC
 
heh... how about "I wasn't a SEAL: I was SAR Elite. The SEAL teams had been disbanded for a time, and SAR took up the slack"?
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Oh, I can EASILY top THAT!

How about:
"I was in Air Force Special Forces in Vietnam."
"Really, what unit and when?"
"Uh, uh, uh, EARLY... when all of the special forces were together!"

Thereafter, all of the REAL veterans in usenet referred to him as a member of the "Parachute Ski Marines" (Vonnegut fans will understand.)

This same genius also waxed ignorant about "AK47s with 500 round magazines".
 
The first MOS a GI gets....

is how to BS. It goes downhill from then on, the speed picks up with the application of beer. As posted above, I don't.....
piss into the wind
don't pull Superman's cape
Don't pull the mask off the Lone Ranger
But, I sure mess with Jim......the office BSer............chris3:D
 
I just met, for the first time I think, a poser.

This guy said he was a Texas Ranger appointed by George W. Bush. He got the appointment because when he was a truck driver, he heard a guy on the CB talking in Arabic. So he called the FBI & they stopped the Arab's truck. Inside the truck the FBI found barrells of Anthrax & a dirty bomb:rolleyes: .

About that time, I'm wondering why if this was true, why wasn't it on the news:scrutiny: . I didn't say that though.

Then he shows me his CCW which is just a 2-shot derringer. Granted it fired .45ACP bullets but I would think that your CCW would need to hold more ammunition before you had to reload. Of course I'm neither a Ranger or even have a CCL. What do I know?
 
OFFWHITE - "2.I don’t kiss strippers in the mouth."
________________________________________________________________

Offwhite, just where do you kiss strippers?? :)

L.W.
 
I actually feel sorry for most of them, having to invent credentials.
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Not me. The opportunity to serve is there, be it .mil, LEO/.gov or FD. I worked hard for my creds, as have others who have walked the path before me. To allow some joker to get away with lying about serving diminishes the honor and good reputation of those who've actually earned the right to be called Airborne, Ranger, Green Beret, CAG, Marine, PJ, or SEAL (Among others.) Busting posers is one of my dark joys.

I don't know if the site is still up, but VeriSEAL's Hall of Shame made for good reading.

Mike
 
Even better is when they wear unauthorized badges/tabs. That's UCMJ action.
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Here is one even better. When I was in the Army Basic Training/AIT (OSUT) one of the guys in my platoon quit and was sent home. We got word that he had been arrested about a week later for trying to use the Military ID he had during basic training (which we was supposed to turn in) to gain entry to an Airforce Base (most likely to shop at the PX). This guy was such an F*** Up that it didn't suprise us a bit.
 
Man, I could tell ya stories. Guys who claim to have ridden with the HAs but don't know what a "81" Tat is, guys who claim to be killer guitar players and have owned 1958 Gibson Telecasters and guys who claimed to have served in the Nam but couldn't remember their MOS. Ya just shake your head and shine 'em on.:scrutiny:

Biker
 
Lebben-B...
Ya run into one 'o those, PM me. Been lookin' for one...
Biker:)
 
Dude, I've got one. It's the sweetest thing ever. It has humbugger pickups and I run it through a 301 watt (That's right - it's one louder.) Marshall amp. Roger McGuinn wanted to buy it when I was jammin' with him and Dylan at this truckstop outside of Lodi. But I told him that it wasn't for sale cuz it once belonged to Steven Stills.:cool:

Mike
 
I had the biggest poser ever at the gunshow the other day.

Fat sack of poop, with a big crowd of young guys surrounding him as he told his tales. I was calling in a background check, and PvtPyle was helping a customer, so we didn't get to rip him apart.

In the minute that I heard him talk, I learned that he was a Green Beret, who was recruited by MACV-SOG in Vietnam, before he joined "the company", where he trained the muhajadeen in Afghanistan on how to use Stingers to shoot down helicopters (you should be on the mountain above them, and shoot down), but then he fought in Rhodesia, and a secret war in Sri Lanka. Now he's retired, but what we need to do in Iraq, is coat all of our bullets in pig's blood, that way when you shoot the Muslims with it, they go straight to hell. Because that is how ruthless you needed to be, like when he fought Charlie in Vietnam.

At this point, I'm ready to rip his head off. PvtPyle (who served in Afghanistan) breaks away from the customer long enough to ask - "so where were you in Afghanistan?"
"Oh, well, er, it was a long time ago. I don't really remember."
"Funny, I remember every single little village I went through."
Sadly he then had to get back to the customer. That fat, lump of crap then decided that he probably needed to find another booth to tell lies in front of.

I've had posers before, but that was the most over the top. I wish that I hadn't been on hold. Luckily we don't get very many of these in the store, just because right when you walk in, we have a big curio cabinet filled with souveniers from people who either work here, or work with us. We've got stuff from every military deployment you can think of, as well as about twenty different LE agencies. I think that cabinet serves as pretty good poser be-gone.
 
Good God...this is pathetic. A Groundpounder got a beer-snort outa me. It burns...Humbugger...too many jokes there.:cool:
Biker
 
I'll be damned. Well, that don't count - McLaughlin ain't human.:neener:

Biker
 
In the minute that I heard him talk, I learned that he was a Green Beret, who was recruited by MACV-SOG in Vietnam, before he joined "the company", where he trained the muhajadeen in Afghanistan on how to use Stingers to shoot down helicopters (you should be on the mountain above them, and shoot down), but then he fought in Rhodesia, and a secret war in Sri Lanka. Now he's retired, but what we need to do in Iraq, is coat all of our bullets in pig's blood, that way when you shoot the Muslims with it, they go straight to hell. Because that is how ruthless you needed to be, like when he fought Charlie in Vietnam.
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Subscription to Soldier of Fortune magazine? Vietnam...Rhodesia...Afganistan...

Sri Lanka? he must have missed a couple of issues!
 
yeppers.

I can always tell.

I will spot check a BS artist. were is the gym at camp whatever? Ever been to the pier at the Kuwait harbor?

What was your Mos? Did it Rain, when you were at Lewis? Harmony church or new Hollywood? In Benning?

And when someone ask me. "were you in SF?" I say no Light inf.

Then I get something like. "you get low scores or something" Or "Did you fail out?"

Now I avoid posers if I can. But if I hear, "Just a Grunt?" One more time.:fire:
 
If you encounter a military poser, send them over to military.com and let the NCOs there take care of them. They're the most doggedly persistent and unforgiving bunch I've ever run across. For some reason, the posers gravitate toward Marines--especially Force Recon--and Green Berets. A lot of them invent service in the Vietnam war, and thy're pretty easy to out. I actually feel sorry for most of them, having to invent credentials.


Roger that, leatherneck! We bust them up pretty good at www.airbornejoe.com , also!

I have an....acquiantance......that has claimed to gals in bars that he was in Vietnam. When he says it in front of me, I just say, "What were you the drummer boy! He was 15 in '75.:rolleyes: Can't wait for some 'Nam vet to pop him in the chops...:p
 
I have an....acquiantance......that has claimed to gals in bars that he was in Vietnam. When he says it in front of me, I just say, "What were you the drummer boy! He was 15 in '75. Can't wait for some 'Nam vet to pop him in the chops
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When I was single and in college I used to tell the deadhead-ettes that I was born at Woodstock. Fortunately for me, they were usually too stoned to do the math.

When I was stationed at Campbell, we got a new trooper in the Scout Platoon. He was an E-4 wearing an 82nd Combat Patch, CIB and Senior Wings. (This was just after Gulf I). As a long-time Deuce guy I asked him how long he was in Division. He said he was in 2-325 for 18 months but had more time in the desert than he had in Division. Then I asked him when he went to Jumpmaster School. He then said he "lucked into a slot" as a PFC just before they deployed. My BS meter PEGGED at that point. A paratrooper can't get into JM school without having at least 12 jumps and at a minimum be an E-4 in a leadership slot. I dismissed him, immediately called the Platoon Sergeant over and we went to see the First Sergeant about it. (He was a Viet Nam vet with the 173rd and had so much leftover shrapnel in him he set off metal detectors in airports.)

The company then did a records check and low and behold our hero had never been in Division, wasn't even Airborne qualified let alone a Senior rated Jump Master and although he had deployed, wasn't with an infantry unit and didn't have a CIB. Sadly, he went AWOL (Or UA for our Marine and Navy vets) before he could be given a much deserved Field Grade Article 15.

Mike
 
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