Awkward situation at a dinner party...

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As long as politics and religion are not brought up, for me anything else including firearms is sociably acceptable conversation. I believe things get blown out of proportion when one begins to act like it is against the law or unacceptable to buy or collect what one likes. By answering a direct question truthfully and without shame it becomes a topic of interest or disinterest and people go about their own way without much thought afterwards.
 
I don't believe the OP gave a rat's arse about any "gun owner stigma", nor do I detect any sort of shame. The problem he had was having it pointed out to a room full of people he didn't know well that he has some sort of massive collection.

It doesn't matter if others have a bigger collection, nor if the collection itself isn't worth much. It was thoughtless of the lady to draw attention to it without thinking that it wasn't her place to reveal such information. Only two things have a higher value on the street than they do in normal commerce: drugs and firearms. Keeping certain information to himself is the OP's prerogative, not the lady's.

My next door neighbors are good people, and they know I have a fair number of firearms. They're planning to rent their house out at some point. My neighbor said something about letting them know if the <removed> ever hit the fan that they should come over to our house, or something like that. I let him know that I'd appreciate it if he kept what he knew to himself. None of anybody's business but mine. It's not paranoia. It's good sense.
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Have to completely agree with what was said right there ^^^. With my collection of firearms, I would not feel comfortable discussing them around total strangers. Especially around here where I live.

From the OP's description, it would seem that the "lady" in question was trying to "raise eyebrows" for some odd reason. Nonetheless, it does seem to be more of a security based problem of the OP's and nothing so dramatic as embarrassment or stigma. A "hot" handgun around here goes for $400 to $600 and lord only knows how much they may try to get for any AK or AR the OP may have in collection. Not to mention the hassle you may get into if any of your stolen weapons were used in a murder.
 
If that was an awkward situation, then you need new friends. Why hang out with a bunch of lefties in the first place?
 
If that was an awkward situation, then you need new friends. Why hang out with a bunch of lefties in the first place?
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It clearly stated in the first post that his friend is also a gun person.....have you never been to a dinner with someone that you do not know about their gun views yet?....I have had plenty of dinners and meeting where there are people there that I am unsure of their ideas or beliefs.

If you are NEVER around strangers you might want to get out more.

Unless I missed it (which is possible) we don't really know if the rest of the dinner party was friends or strangers......my point is why assume that he is hanging out with a certain type of person without also knowing all the details......they could be family.....and also it is none of our buisness who he is hanging out with......his original question was not our opinionsWHO was at the party
 
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There's nothing shameful being a supporter of the 2a. Answer with pride if it happens again.

Sent from my LG-P999 using Tapatalk
 
Pride, embarrassment, and politics have absolutely nothing to do with this. I can guarantee you that my friend and I were the only gun owners in the house. It is also not my job to be the Second Amendment ambassador to a room full of near acquaintances.

Maturity is the turnkey for this conversation. What the lleh ever happened to people minding their own business and practicing prudence in mixed company?
 
It's happens to me more often than you'd think and it certainly can be/is uncomfortable. In those situations it's best to give a light answer and redirect the conversation. I would say most folks that know me know I own guns just due to the fact I'm in law enforcement. However, being in law enforcement I'd say I'm more "paranoid"/cautious than the average person. In a setting where I don't know folks I prefer them not knowing I have guns, I carry concealed, and to take it a step further I'd prefer those same folks not know I'm a police officer either. There are some folks out there, not many thankfully, that would do me and my family harm for no other reason than my chosen profession.

Kindly explain to your friends your concerns as most just don't know better until you explain it, then if they understand they won't do it again.
 
Hard to say when I wasn't there. Not knowing the voice inflection, tone, look and body language . . . I have to make some guesses.


But I have a pretty good notion your friend's wife wasn't asking because she actually wanted to know what you bought last.


If she was trying to hard to make honest small talk, I'd say something discreetly to her about when it was appropriate to have such a discussion.

But personally I wager she wanted to play some passive-aggressive game of making you uncomfortable, putting you on the spot with her friends, and embarrassing you.

I don't do passive-aggressive games with women.
 
i could care less so i would have just told them what the newest one was. if the people i just meet wanna get their panties in a bunch thats their problem, not mine.
 
When I first began to accumulate some guns, my father, not a gun guy, began to announce to every family member we visited "He's into guns now, tell them how many you have."....After being irritated a couple of times by the question and since sarcasm wasn't working, I finally had to sit him down and tell him that I didn't want everyone in the family knowing my business and to cool it.

And if you're wondering why I cared, lets just say there are members of the family who might be tempted by the knowledge....let alone which of THEIR friends they might tell.
 
So my lovely wife and I hadn't been at a dinner party for five minutes. One of the other wives, whose husband and I like to talk firearms, asked in a rather abrupt way "So Lex, what your newest gun?"

The room stopped. I maintained a surprised facial expression, hoping everyone would let it pass, but was forced to comment on my supposedly huge and expanding gun collection to a roomful of people, some of whom we hardly know. Luckily her husband deflected her comment with a stupid joke.

My friend's wife was not drunk, but just trying a little too hard. How would you men have reacted?
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I'd have told him all about my newest gun -- and gone into a discussion of sights, handloading and so on.
 
always answer a question with a question. obviously your interested--anyone else involved in the shooting sports? maybe you could see if someone wants to try target shooting--or maybe they could be interested in self protection for themselves or the wives. no reason to be defensive. :)
 
going to tell a story try to make it short. had a a second cousin who had a collection of rare motorcycles and like to talk them up... my grandfather told him a story about business his and everybody elses.my cousin goes on vacation and comes back with a empty building where the motorcycles were. long story shrot a lesson learned for a bunch of people.
 
It clearly stated in the first post that his friend is also a gun person.....have you never been to a dinner with someone that you do not know about their gun views yet?....I have had plenty of dinners and meeting where there are people there that I am unsure of their ideas or beliefs.
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And? If you find out they are lefties, then you apologize and tell them you hadn't realized they were a bunch of idiots, then leave. Life is too short to pretend to like people who despise you and everything you believe in.
 
Proper response, I beat them into plow shares, I plan on becoming a farmer.


On another note this is a perfect example of why your don't advertise what you own whether it be guns, coins, gold, silver, paintings, artwork, etc to others.

Many friends and even family cannot be trusted not to talk about it. An innocent conversation with someone can be repeated 3 or 4 times down the road after the first one hears it and all of a sudden someone 5 times removed from your initial conversation is repeating it to some thug for a possible B & E.

Loose lips sink ships is a great phrase and applies to just about everything.
 
Lex Luthier said:
Pride, embarrassment, and politics have absolutely nothing to do with this.
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So what was it? Just mind your own business? Maybe you shouldn't go to parties if you don't want anybody to know who you are.

Lex Luthier said:
I can guarantee you that my friend and I were the only gun owners in the house.
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Why is this important?

Did you think some of those at the party might try to rob you? :confused:
 
I would have replied in a truthful manner,then ask about his latest purchase.And tried to act nonchalant about everything.Thankfully,formal settings like those are not our thing. Lightman
 
And? If you find out they are lefties, then you apologize and tell them you hadn't realized they were a bunch of idiots, then leave. Life is too short to pretend to like people who despise you and everything you believe in.
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Unfortunately I have a career that does not always allow such an attitude all the time. You can go ahead and tell me to find a new job or some such nonsense but I will say this....the one thing in life more important to me than freedom and gun rights is my family......i have to provide for them financially....I have a good career and it involves occassional social gatherings with people who may not share my views on all things......i say may not b/c it is general good taste to avoid such conversations in certain settings......I feel this is sorta the OP original point.

I am not trying to be rude to you, but alot of people can't just take the attitude you laid out.....what if the customer service department of your favorite gun manufactorer had that attitude.....they may not like you.....yet they still have a job to do
 
"So Lex, what your newest gun?"
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If I felt it was a rude question, I would say: "That's a rude question."

If I wanted to deflect, I would say, "Haven't gotten a thing recently." (It's up to me what recently is.)

But most likely, I would just answer. I'm a proud gun-owner. Even here in MA, most guys are fascinated by the subject, and most gals don't care. Those who hate guns usually know nothing about them, and so are easy to handle. The percentage of folks who have a carefully considered position against firearms, even here, is very small...

And are usually also fascinated.
Unfortunately I have a career that does not always allow such an attitude all the time. You can go ahead and tell me to find a new job or some such nonsense but I will say this....the one thing in life more important to me than freedom and gun rights is my family
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It is IMHO poisonous to hide who you are, what you like, and what's important to you. That will also eventually hurt your family. And it robs you of an opportunity to dispel ignorance.

Obviously you know best, but there are downsides to being a "closeted" gun owner.
 
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Tongue FIRMLY implanted in teeth

I would have asked her "why do you actually know one from another".

If in fact she did,kudos to her.

But I bet that question would have ended the conversation.
 
This is not the time for a comeback or a snide, sarcastic remark. Although most all of us would be tempted. You don't know who has their ear tuned to the conversation. It could be someone interested in visiting your house when you aren't there. Or someone who would morph the story into something that fit their agenda, attach your name to it, and spread it around. Either way, that isn't the time to win the exchange. I would simply reply that for the longest time most all your purchases have involved gun BOOKS. It diffuses the situation, is a politically correct option, pulls your name off of someone's option list, protects your family, and allows you to address Mz Idiot at a time when you have her undivided attention, and no one else's. A tactical retreat is nothing to be ashamed of.
 
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