I recommend some reading here:
http://www.brassfetcher.com/38 Special.html
For self defense against humans, you want the widest wound channel that penetrates 10-15 inches. The FBI uses 12 inches as a minimum in case the bullet has to go thru an arm first...I wouldn't reject a round for only penetrating 11 inches. Beyond 15 inches, you are probably just getting extra blast and noise.
The calibers in the 40s often expand on impact to over 0.7" in diameter, while the rounds in the 30s typically make it to around 0.6"...no one has proven the extra diameter buys you much in stopping power, but it seems plausible that it helps.
Pretty much all of the mid sized calibers (in the 30s) are capable of getting 12" penetration with good expansion in the right bullet. 38+P gets it easier than a .380, so in a .380 I'd be very picky about choice of ammo. Same with regular .38 - the right match of bullet construction and velocity will do it, but barely.
The 357 often is overkill, which is why 357 SD ammo often sounds like hot 38 ammo. Buffalo Bore says this about their 38+P:
"Item 20B/20 uses the low velocity (LV) Jacketed Hollow Point bullet that is designed to expand at as little as 800 fps, so you will get expansion out of very short barrels...Item 20A: 158gr., very soft cast, semi wad cutter, (Keith) hollow cavity, with a gas check. This bullet will mushroom violently on impact and will penetrate roughly 14 inches in human flesh."
Since their ammo gets over 1000 fps from a 2" barrel, it ought to expand as reliably as anything, and 14 inches is enough.
The problem some folks have is they forget how bullet construction impacts effectiveness. You can make a bullet so hard it won't expand at all. It will give good penetration, but not as wide a hole. Or you can make a bullet that expands beautifully, but doesn't penetrate. A good manufacturer - and I think almost all the main ones are - matches the bullet construction with expected velocity.
I carry 38+P in my S&W Model 60, and rather mild 357 ammo in my 686. Since the 686 is nearly twice the weight of the 60, I can bump up to 357 without much downside - but I'm not undergunned with the 38+P.
I also like 44/45 ammo, but right now I don't shoot much because it is more expensive and I want more practice with 38/357s first. And I don't know of any real world data that shows the 44/45 is any more effective against humans than the 9mm/38/357. All just IMHO.