+P loads won't dramatically affect the wear rate of the pistol, though the springs may need replacing five hundred rounds or so sooner.
It also won't dramatically affect the performance of the rounds on an angry target.
Pretty much all of the best designed defense bullets these days work equally well as standard pressure or +P, sometimes they even show a hair more desirable overall performance as a standard pressure load.
For instance, in 147 grain HST, the expansion of either normal or +P is basically identical, while the standard pressure version often penetrates a half inch or so deeper, and generates a bit less recoil. Since the load is already big on expansion and moderate on penetration, giving up even a small amount of penetration for marginally wider expansion may not be that great a balancing call.
One of the biggest reasons I would want to carry a +P version of a given load would be to help functioning, just in case something is squirrely and I'm not firing the gun off at the range, it's possible that I might not have the best textbook grip and firing stance, and the feeding process could benefit from a little more rearward energy in the slide.