AARYQ - "... I want to get something that I will enjoy shooting but my wife will be able to shoot without being too scared by the noise or recoil (she's never touched a gun in her life)."
Therein lies the problem.
There is no such thing, in my opinion, as a"do-it-all" handgun for both you and your wife, given what you wrote above.
If your wife has never touched a handgun before, would be scared by noise and recoil, etc., then it is absolutely incumbent on you to start her off on a .22 L.R. handgun. Revolver, preferably, then, if she absolutely has to have a semi-automatic, AFTER LEARNING SAFETY AND HANDGUN FUNDAMENTALS, switch her to a semi-auto .22 handgun. More practice, more safety and fundamentals instruction, etc.
After that, move her up to a .38 Sp., or, the dreaded "9mm."
THEN... let her select a handgun that feels right for her hand.
If she presently wants a semi-auto because it "holds more rounds," and a revolver is "harder to reload," then that appears to me to be the mindset of someone who thinks, "spray & pray," or, "hose the foes."
Train her so she thinks "ACCURACY, ACCURACY, ACCURACY."
I suggest a handgun for EACH of you, with each finding the one with which you're the most accurate and comfortable.
Many years ago, when I was first married, my wife, although not anti-gun, was unfamiliar with firearms. The only
real guns she'd ever seen were handguns in the holsters of some peace officers out on the street. (This was Los Angeles.)
She wanted to learn to shoot. I had several .22 LR handguns. She began on my S&W K22, then shot my Browning Challenger, Ruger Mark I, and Colt's Woodsman. Over a period of about one year, she fired over three "bricks" of .22 LR ammo. (That was 1,500 rounds which cost no more than $35.00.)
Safety, fundamentals, accuracy became second nature. Plus, familiarization with the firearm.
I then moved her up to my S&W Combat Materpiece .38 Sp., using target loads. No problem. She was very used to shooting by that time. Later, over the years, she shot ALL my handguns, semi-autos and revolvers. She came to prefer revolvers.
At the gun store, she liked the feel of a S&W 36 3inch Heavy Barrel .38 Sp., for her purse. Her favorite for beside the bed was my Ruger Security Six .357 Mag., with Herrett grips I reformed to fit her hand.
I had other .38s and .357 Mags but that was the one she liked. Fine with me. That's what she wanted.
I honestly believe if I'd tried to start her on heavier recoiling handguns, she'd not ever have become as proficient as she is today.
I've also seen innumerable times where women and men,
unfamiliar with handguns, have had great difficulty with .38 Sp. and 9mm, and .40 S&W, and .45 ACP. These were people who were going through a major non-Federal peace officer Academy who HAD to qualify to finish the Academy. Some would barely, barely squeak by and some would have to remediate... or drop out of the Academy.
Sooooo, I say again, my opinion, but start her off with a .22 LR handgun.
Good luck.
L.W.