anti girlfriend

[rero360]

I recently met this girl and the way things are going we'll be a couple within a week or so, we've spent 9 out of the past 10 nights together, she's a beautiful girl and all but she hates guns.

aparently, a past boyfriend of hers robbed a bank and did a suicide by cop, now I don't know how it all went down, but according to her this guy shot towards the cop and the cop shot back, he falls to the ground and the cop shoots him again as he's lying on the ground, killing him. Now I really don't care one bit about it, guy wanted to die, got his wish, but now she hates guns and cops, I own a bunch of guns and will probably become a cop in the future.

I've made it known to her that I own guns and carry on a regular basis when I'm not at school, and while she's not pleased about it she accepts the fact. I've tried to explain to her that they are just tools and that its the intent of the user that matters. it actually came up last night, we were clothes shopping and I made the comment on how I need a couple of extra inches in the waist of my pants, and she asks why, she didn't seemed bothered then though, just said to wear the one pair when I'm not carrying.

Now being a college student at a college where women outnumber men vastly I have the ability to pick and choose my women. however I do want to see where this relationship leads to, after this long tirade, what can I do to try to make her see that guns in themselves aren't bad and can be fun? I'd like to take her to the range at sometime, my Cx4 storm would be a good starter gun, low recoil and all that, I do feel that she is intelegent enough to realize the truth.

any advise would be great everyone. also i want to get her to try venison.

 

[asiparks]

Sad that she blames cops/guns for her ex's actions. She may be exceedingly lovely but if she can't see where responsibility lies with something like that, it may cause you problems in the future. I know you want to see where it goes, but it might just be downhill. Why chance it ? If you can "pick and choose" (lucky sod) then I would do that...good luck though....

 

[jlbraun]

Take her target shooting with a .22. Most anti's aren't anti's anymore after that.

 

[ReadyontheRight]

Personally, I'm very pro-girlfriend. Of course, I haven't seen "Brokeback Mountain" yet. (of course, there's nothing wrong with that.)

Back to the real question -- It sounds like she's not making a big deal about your gun ownership, so she's probably going to get over her (considerable!) issues if it works out between you two.

Best of luck!

 

[akodo]

Look, i know a lot of girls are attracted to the 'bad boy image', however, choosing to have a relationship with a suicidal criminal, that says something to me about here mental/emotional state being a not very good one.

 

[ArmedBear]

I'm being serious, here.

This girl is a scary proposition. Has she been through a lot of therapy since then?

She dated a guy who robbed a bank and then committed suicide by cop. No one does that unless they're pretty ????ed up. No one dates someone that ????ed up unless she, too, has some serious issues. Well maybe not no one, but the odds are overwhelming that this is true.

And she hates guns.

 

[Red State]

choosing......

Congrats on the new relationship!

Granted, she has had a pretty traumatic experience that would understandably cause her to be wary of guns. The question is, does she have the ability to think rationally about issues and not make decisions based 100% on feelings? If she can't think issues through and arrive at logical conclusions based on facts, then you will have conflict about many other things besides guns.

I think you are on the right track as far as taking her to the range is concerned. Start her out with .22s and then gradually move up from there. Try to make it as fun, casual, and unintimidating as possible. Hopefully she will eventually grow to at least accept firearms and the role that they play in our society.

She may decide that she doesnt want to carry - and thats her choice. But if she objects to you carrying a pistol or having a shotgun under the bed...........

 

[Red State]

PS. I am trying to get my girlfriend to taste venison too!

 

[SomeKid]

Replace 'anti' with 'ex' and life will become much easier.

 

[ArmedBear]

PS. I am trying to get my girlfriend to taste venison too!

Do you just want to watch, or do you want to join in?

 

[Thefabulousfink]

It seem like here fear of guns/cops is a lot more emotional than the average anti-gun person. Guns had a promenant hand in the death of someone she cared about, and while a rational person can see that it was his actions, not the guns that lead to his death, her emotions can prevent her from looking at it rationally. Before introducing her to guns like you would a normal person, I would take a lot of time to make sure she was ready for it emotionally.

Emotions can be tricky, and while she may seem fine with you owning guns, strong feelings might come to the surface if you try to throw her into it with preparing her. Take your time, talk to her in a kind an understanding manner. Don't lecture her, It will be much better for her and your relationship if you take your time with this.

P.S. Without knowing this girl, I can't make an accurate call, but just taking her to the range and throwing a gun in her hand could be a VERY bad idea...it could be allright, but could start a discusion that ends your relationship.

 

[rero360]

thanks for the replies guys, I plan on keeping my head about me, I don't think she's a lost cause, so I'm going to put some effort into it, but I'm willing to jump ship if it becomes apparent that there's no return for her.

I think she has seen a shrink about it, it was over a year ago so she could still be dealing with it, but having spent the majority of time with her in the past week or so, she seems to be pretty much over the fact that he's dead, just pissed that he was murdered (in her eyes).

hey if it goes south, her roommate is pretty cute, and reletavly sane too

 

[MS .45]

Her boyfriend robbed a bank and then shot it out with the cops getting killed and she hates the cops and the guns? Loyalty is one thing, but that is rediculous.Even so, maybe you can steer her toward a more rational way of looki at things. Don't waste too much of your time though.

 

[TMM]

she seems like her affliction is only about skin deep - take her shooting, maybe work out an agreement if you do somthing she wants (besides somting like not CCW-ing) she'll go to the range a time or two.

if she was straight-out rabid anti, dump her and take advantage of your pick-and-choose situation...

~tmm

 

[joab]

but now she hates guns and cops,

This from someone older that has been through similar relationships
Find someone that isn't still hung up on their ex, in this case dead, boyfriend

I own a bunch of guns and will probably become a cop in the future.

Is it the challenge that excites you?

 

[MGshaggy]

Similar situation here - let me give you some simple advice after more than a year with an anti-gun girlfriend.

Let it be.

Give her some time and space before trying to introduce her to guns and getting her to like them. As other guys here have said, her past relationships are going to color her opinions right now and she probably just needs some time to work through some of those isues. Forcing her to go to the range or always talking about guns isn't going to help. Give her time and focus on what you two have in common rather than something you have very different views of (at least for now). If you give her the time and space to really get to know you and like you, she may very well get more comfortable with the idea of being around guns. Go slow and show her the other sides of you and the other things you like. It sounds as if she may very well come around if you don't push the gun issue until she's had time to get used to it. Try to shove it down her throat too soon or she's gonna walk away. Its not necessarily a lose-lose situation. If you're smart about it, you can probably get the girl and (eventually) get her to accept the guns.

In my case my g/f is from NYC - she never owned or even touched a gun, but she has been robbed at gunpoint and had known others who were also. She still doesn't like guns, but she knows its a non-negotiable issue with me, so she's learned to deal with it. I have no doubt she'd never own a gun herself or carry one, but she's more accepting of my hobby/addiction/obsession than she used to be and doesn't question my purchases or when I want to go shooting. In fact, had it not been cancelled due to bad weather, we would have been at a machinegun shoot this weekend where she promised to give a few beltfeds a try. For us, its a simple rule - the guns are my thing into which she doesn't interfere. I don't expect her to like it, or even to try it, but I don't rub her face in it either. Similarly, she has her own things too - like going dancing with her friends. I don't like dancing, and I don't usually participate, so she doesn't try to convert me or drag me out dancing with her and her friends.

 

[orangeninja]

I recently met this girl and the way things are going we'll be a couple within a week or so, we've spent 9 out of the past 10 nights together, she's a beautiful girl and all but she hates guns.

aparently, a past boyfriend of hers robbed a bank and did a suicide by cop, now I don't know how it all went down, but according to her this guy shot towards the cop and the cop shot back, he falls to the ground and the cop shoots him again as he's lying on the ground, killing him. Now I really don't care one bit about it, guy wanted to die, got his wish, but now she hates guns and cops, I own a bunch of guns and will probably become a cop in the future.

I've made it known to her that I own guns and carry on a regular basis when I'm not at school, and while she's not pleased about it she accepts the fact. I've tried to explain to her that they are just tools and that its the intent of the user that matters. it actually came up last night, we were clothes shopping and I made the comment on how I need a couple of extra inches in the waist of my pants, and she asks why, she didn't seemed bothered then though, just said to wear the one pair when I'm not carrying.

Now being a college student at a college where women outnumber men vastly I have the ability to pick and choose my women. however I do want to see where this relationship leads to, after this long tirade, what can I do to try to make her see that guns in themselves aren't bad and can be fun? I'd like to take her to the range at sometime, my Cx4 storm would be a good starter gun, low recoil and all that, I do feel that she is intelegent enough to realize the truth.

any advise would be great everyone. also i want to get her to try venison.

Dump her. Lots of women out there, why try to make it work?

Forgot to say, if she hates cops now, if you convince her otherwise and become a cop, she will hate the hours you work, the job demands etc. and may resent you for it. Dump her....I've seen to many divorces in law enforcement to have any faith in women who do not see the need for law enforcement and respect the sacrifices of the profession. My wife has to make almost as many sacrifices as I do for my job, if she hated my profession, we wouldn't last.

Did I mention dump her?

 

[redneck2]

You wrote...

I don't think she's a lost cause, so I'm going to put some effort into it, but I'm willing to jump ship if it becomes apparent that there's no return for her.

The best reply so far is

This girl is a scary proposition. Has she been through a lot of therapy since then?

The truth is

Replace 'anti' with 'ex' and life will become much easier.

pal, I don't know you and probably never will. I'm telling you right now...go slam your hand in a car door instead of mixing it up with this chick. It will be a LOT less painful.

Being 55 years old with multiple ex's, I can tell you with all assurance..

(a) there are plenty of fish in the sea

(b) if you have something you need to "work through" up front, it only gets worse (typically WAY worse) with time. Both times before, I was going to be the "good guy". The "good guy" ends up with a lot more pain and a lot less money

You wouldn't have posted if you didn't have a gut feeling there was something wrong. Run, don't walk, away from this one. The real one is probably right around the corner

 

[ArmedBear]

Being 55 years old with multiple ex's, I can tell you with all assurance..

(a) there are plenty of fish in the sea

(b) if you have something you need to "work through" up front, it only gets worse (typically WAY worse) with time. Both times before, I was going to be the "good guy". The "good guy" ends up with a lot more pain and a lot less money

I'm only 39, but I can also add this...

The little head might talk louder, but the big head is a lot smarter.

 

[Red State]

Do you just want to watch, or do you want to join in?

Oh I'll be joining in!

 

[TF_FH]

I'm well aware that you are chemically imbalanced
but I'm the kind of guy that likes a challenge
from a crazy kind of girl who lives in her own world
Who is legally insane

That song quote just came to mind.....

 

[Aguila Blanca]

after this long tirade, what can I do to try to make her see that guns in themselves aren't bad and can be fun? I'd like to take her to the range at sometime, my Cx4 storm would be a good starter gun, low recoil and all that, I do feel that she is intelegent enough to realize the truth.

any advise would be great everyone. also i want to get her to try venison.

A-D-V-I-C-E is a noun.

A-D-V-I-S-E is a verb.

If you are in college now, you might as well learn the difference before you graduate.

As to your question, the direct answer is: "Neither." She may come around of her own volition ... and she may not. But I'll guarantee that if you try to puch the issue, you will destroy the relationship.

Some years back I ended a relationship that should have been extremely promising, over a similar issue. The woman was extremely anti, and there was just no dealing with it.

It is now 15+ years later. She has relocated to a "free" state, discovered that out there just about everybody at least owns guns, if not packing regularly, and they aren't all evil killer types. She came around on her own terms and in her own time, based on exposure to "normal" people who own and accept guns.

However, it's far too late to resurrect the relationship, as I am now married to someone else.

 

[Aguila Blanca]

I think she has seen a shrink about it, it was over a year ago so she could still be dealing with it, but having spent the majority of time with her in the past week or so, she seems to be pretty much over the fact that he's dead, just pissed that he was murdered (in her eyes).

Reality check:

The guy was not "murdered," he was killed by a police officer for shooting a (probably illegal) gun at said police officer in the course of perpetrating a bank robbery.

If this in any way, shape or form appears to her as "murder" -- she ain't over it.

 

[Thefabulousfink]

Hawkmoon,

Push: verb, to encourage or force an action

Putsch: noun, an attempt to overthrow a government.

Puch: ???

See, anyone can make mistakes.

 

[Meplat]

A-D-V-I-C-E is a noun.

A-D-V-I-S-E is a verb.

If you are in college now, you might as well learn the difference before you graduate.

As to your question, the direct answer is: "Neither." She may come around of her own volition ... and she may not. But I'll guarantee that if you try to puch the issue, you will destroy the relationship.

Errr....gotta watch out for them rocks in glass houses and such...