Most Instructive
My house is a friggin' arsenal -- I just never appreciated how much potential violence I've got lying around.
Bedroom, in no particular order: wife's 3D Maglite, my 2D Streamlite (truly solid little number), 3-inch fixed blade utility/camping knife, power strip (metal, 1"x2"x8" with 6' grounded power cord), Steelcase office chair, 1" diameter Marks-a-lot, heavy-duty office stapler, a 7-foot length of Cat-5 network cable I forgot to put away, plastic-covered 5-pound lockbox with handle, assorted tools (needlenose pliers, screwdrivers, scissors, metal ruler) -- I really need to put some of this stuff away.
Kitchen: Oh, Gawd. You SO don't want me on my home turf! I have some 40 knives, all longer than 5 inches, some as long as 15 in blocks and various drawers, solid saucepans, fire extinguisher, cast iron trivets, ceramic canisters -- damn! The friggin' kitchen is a weapons candy store!
Utility room, off the kitchen, has sharp things (gardening implements) and chemicals, and a 20-pound plastic jug(?) of kitty litter.
Moving around into the dining room . . . there's a really solid salt/pepper shaker set -- one for each hand -- about an inch in diameter at the waist and 5 inches tall, and by the fireplace at the end of that room is a set of fireplace tools (nice poker!), a wood hod with pruning shears, hatchet, splitting axe, machete, and a leather-handled knife that seems to have been fashioned from a hunk of lawn mower blade.
Living room is currently full of tools consistent with a never-ending remodel.
Off that is the game room, with several games, some in wooden boxes about 1.5"x14" containing tiles and/or marbles. Frisbees -- the disc golf kind -- ever been smacked in the head with one of those? Did I mention the darts? Unicorn, brass and tungsten, with steel tips.
My office (converted bedroom off the hall) is the place you hope you don't find me. I collect knives. And other sharp things. That's where they live. But, if that's not very sporting, all my tools are there, including my electronics stuff (soldering iron -- ever been stabbed with one of those?). There are a couple of wooden swords in there, along with an old golf umbrella.
Good lord! I never really took stock of how dangerous my home is!
Oh, and that doesn't count any of the lead launchers. We're pretending they're all at the groomer's getting shampooed and manicured.
I'm sure I missed stuff. I mean, we've got heavy cordless phones all over the bleedin' house, and there's a really dense duck carving from almond wood, and a brass clock/barometer, and a 7-inch wooden statue of a rhino with a truly impressive horn, and a pair of ceramic lighthouses.
I hope a violent wind storm never finds its way into our home: we'd be slaughtered by the flying debris.
You'd get to watch it on the Discovery channel: Lethal Decor, When Household Objects Go Bad.