Coming out as a gun owner

[Plan2Live]

Well I live in the South and I recently had this topic turn into a dealbreaker so don't automatically assume that ladies in the South are okay with firearms. I was the Original Poster in a different forum for a scenario that included this topic as a side not to my main topic. In short, I went out with a lady three times and did not carry out of concern that her finding it by accident might cause alarm. On our 2nd date I think we had a close encounter with a bad guy. On our 3rd date I brought this incident up and told her I normally carry. No reaction. A short time later I receive a text saying we probably shouldn't see each other again. Prior to that everything was going great so it must have been the news about the gun. That puts me at 50/50 because the one prior to that had no problem with it.

The question I posed, for the ladies, is when did THEY think the best time to bring this up was. After thinking it through, I realized this is probably not a good place to ask the question because the ladies here are obviously pro-gun.

This is not as simple of a question as it seems. Some people are absolutely anti-gun, 25% of women say the have been sexually assaulted. Imagine the reaction of a woman that might be anti-gun or a prior victim brushing up against you or hugging you and finding your carry weapon. Touchie subject, no pun intended.

I wish I wasn't so far down in the thread.

 

[bigfinger76]

Women with irrational fears are annoying.

 

[Dnaltrop]

My wife was nervous but was fine with them being unseen early on. She lived with nightly gunfire outside her childhood home before "Gentrification", so her fears were well founded in personal experience.

After a few years she would come out to the clearcuts with me, but sit in the car and read with cups on.

Few more years she'd step out.. few more she tried the .22 rifle and ran for the car...

Few more and she tried the Model 10.... Now she owns her own gun.

Now she asks to go to the range when I'm not even thinking of it... Her friends are buying guns and asking her about Range trips.

 

[thump_rrr]

By living in a major metropolitain city in eastern Canada you can rest assured that most women have not been around firearms.
If you enter my home from the main entrance you have no clues to what my hobbies are.
Once you enter the man cave the safe, progressive press, and tons of empty brass quickly gives it away.

Last summer I went south for a few days. I meet this twenty something girl.
I noticed she had a little tattoo on her wrist so I asked her if she had any others.
So at this point she moves her hair out of the way and shows a small one on the back of her neck. Next she lowers her pants near her left hip and shows me a tattoo she has of a six shooter. At this point I'm thinking great so I pull out the iPhone to show her a pic of my .45.
I hand her the phone and when she sees the picture she drops the phone as if I had handed her a loaded gun.
I guess sometimes you really can't tell how irrational some people can be

 

[ZeSpectre]

Well... dating is a time to find out if you are compatible with someone, not a time to hang on at all costs.

 

[Bullnettles]

Every anti-gun girl I've dated (three) all ended up liking them by the end, including a cute hippy girl. She did vote for Obama though... deal-breaker.

 

[gc70]

I'm a few decades beyond dating, but my youngest son is not. I think guns came up at the end of the first date with his current girlfriend. They were discussing times for a second date and he mentioned the weekly range trip with myself and his mother. She said she was uncomfortable with guns but would like to go to the range with us. We gave her a nice intro to shooting - .22 rifle, .22 pistol, .38 revolver, 9mm auto, and an AR. Unfortunately, she is still not enthused about handguns ... but she did convince my son to custom-build an AR for her.

 

[Serenity]

Plan2Live; I will poll my friends. I didn't get into guns until well after I was married, but I know that when I was younger I wanted to know things sooner than later. It's nice to know the basics about someone before you waste a lot of time on them. A guy doesn't need to give the number and makes and models and locations of his guns (and the combos to his safes) to let a woman know he's a shooter. Just get the words out there and watch her eyes and body language.

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

An anti-gun attitude-and fanatically so-is a deal breaker for me in a romantic relationship. Alcohol and drug use are also deal breakers. My modest experience in this area has convinced that most women are not anti-gun, rather-like an awful of men-they've had zero exposure to them.
And yes, the Dating Game is when you find out what-or who-you like and don't like.

 

[Norrick]

I dated a girl who said she would never date a smoker. I'm sure if the girl really likes you she won't care, or at least she'll deal with it hah.

 

[Sky]

Usually after meeting someone the conversation ranges from where you work and what do you do for fun. A casual comment about all your interest to include going to the range or hunting with friends, family, or groups usually lets you know which way the wind is blowing. If they are a rabid don't kill Bambi or Donald Duck then you can either convert through well reasoned discussion or you can go dutch and have them pay for their own meal. A little dark humor?

Many want something until they get it. There are people who bring something to a relationship and others that can be called Psychic Vampires; all they do is suck the life out of a mate. Core values can be as important as anything in a relationship, IMO.

I'm a few decades beyond dating, but my youngest son is not. I think guns came up at the end of the first date with his current girlfriend. They were discussing times for a second date and he mentioned the weekly range trip with myself and his mother. She said she was uncomfortable with guns but would like to go to the range with us. We gave her a nice intro to shooting - .22 rifle, .22 pistol, .38 revolver, 9mm auto, and an AR. Unfortunately, she is still not enthused about handguns ... but she did convince my son to custom-build an AR for her.

I still remember the fear and trepidation my wife had the first time I took her to a gun range to shoot a .22 pistol.

Have you ever seen someone turn their head shut their eyes and try to run the other way when they pull the trigger? I still smile when I think of her first few outings. She took to the rifles like a duck to water but the pistols took a bit of familiarization.

She is now an accomplished pistol shooter and an even better marksman with the AR. Just some have humble beginnings.

 

[Ringolevio]

A sad tale of an attempted "conversion"...

I was once highly infatuated with a woman with whom I had a number of important ethnic and intellectual factors in common. Our "physical chemistry" was breathtaking (I wish I could tell you details)! It could have really turned into something.

But she was a lawyer working for the ACLU, and she toed the "party line" on the Second Amendment. I started to work on her, presenting an intelligent argument for the RKBA and framing it as "empowering" women. That made her see it in a new light, and she was really starting to come around.

But she must have discussed it with someone at work. And someone there must have taken her aside and told her, "If you're gonna start believing in the Second Amendment, there's no place for you in the ACLU" (apparently the RKBA is not among "American Civil Liberties").

And so, alas, our love was not to be; now she's history, and I'm still heartbroken over "what might have been".

Of course, had she come around on the RKBA, she probably would have gone off the ACLU reservation on other issues as well. That surely would have gotten her "drummed out of the corps" or "purged from the Politburo". Those champions of tolerance and diversity at the ACLU would never tolerate that kind of diversity in their own ranks.

 

[Old krow]

And so, alas, our love was not to be; now she's history, and I'm still heartbroken over "what might have been".

Or she could have been working on her own "conversion" and simply gave up. It's sad just the same, sorry it didn't work out.

 

[303tom]

I met my wife when she worked at the Newspaper, I was delivering one of their cars being I worked in the shop that services their cars, I was taking the keys in & overheard the ladies talking & I heard this gal say I would shoot the SOB, so I asked her out, this was a Friday night. The next morning we went squirrel hunting, we have been together ever since, going on 25 years now...........

 

[3KillerBs]

First date is always the range. =)

About 25 years ago a guy borrowed his mom's .22 rifle for me to use and took me out on a date -- first to the range, then to the ice cream shop.

I kept both the guy and the hobby -- we'll have been married 23 years on Easter.

 

[303tom]

About 25 years ago a guy borrowed his mom's .22 rifle for me to use and took me out on a date -- first to the range, then to the ice cream shop.

I kept both the guy and the hobby -- we'll have been married 23 years on Easter.

YES....................

 

[DavidMS]

My experience

There was a woman. My type. We hit it off and her being into Yoga, I described target shooting as achieving a zen like state. She understood. Unfortunately, I broke it off for the wrong reasons still regret it.

 

[abq87120]

I generally signal to new acquaintances that I like shooting sports right away. I also carry but am extremely cool about letting anyone know about it. My wife was a person who didn't care much for guns when we were first married. Until something went bump in the night. She became OK with having a shot gun by the bed and a 44 mag for hiking in bear country. We eventually moved to Albuquerque, NM. After about six months of watching the evening news and all the random violence there, she made me fall off the couch one night. One night while watching the news, she told me she wanted a CCW permit. I was ecstatic. It's four years later now. She carries an LCP 380 in her purse and keeps a Glock G26 9mm in her desk drawer in her home office.

 

[FIVETWOSEVEN]

If it wasn't for shooting, I wouldn't be dating my girlfriend who I've known for 5 years before hand. I bring a gun or guns to her house all the time and open carry often when we go out on dates. We even went shooting yesterday with my new Tantal that she tagged along with me to pick up. I also helped her dad buy a handgun last month. I guess I would say I'm pretty lucky with my situation considering what I've seen with other people and their dating woes.

 

[Guy B. Meredith]

ZeSpectre has it right. If you can not be the person you are then the relationship is a bad one. I would not "make do" with anyone that did not support my interest in firearms. A relationship should be healthy for both partners and one partner denying who they are just does not hack it.

In my case the idea of firearms ownership did not come up as I just did not feel I could afford it. It was my decision and not hers. Then at one point in time we had a concern that we might find meth addicted thugs knocking at our door. I took advantage of this to justify cost (not to convince my wife) and my wife was good with that as well as the next 4 firearms and my participation in competition. In fact, she has accompanied me to three International Revolver Championships in Morro Bay, CA.

If she had not been supportive I would have given serious thought about whether I wanted to remain in a relationship where I was less than I should be.

 

[Prophet]

Bump for this topic because it's not discussed nearly often enough. I haven't any experiences to share because I am currently and always have been single by choice, but reading the experiences listed here can only serve to help myself and others like me in the future when we do finally decide it's time to get hitched.

 

[wojownik]

Some years ago, I was briefly dating someone - she thought it would be cute to go to a Halloween party as Sharon Stone from "Quick and the Dead" and wanted me to be her Cort.

Anyways ... I had a full rig, left the Colt at home, but left my .45LC rounds on the belt. Oh man, oh man did she freak about the ammo. As if they could spontaneously explode... and then came the inevitable "I certainly hope you don't actually own a gun".

Well, that relationship lasted one more date - the firearms discussion was actually the trigger (pardon the pun) for revealing that she'd been dialing back here more extreme liberal views, trying to be more "moderate" for me.

The problem was not that she was liberal. The problem was that she was not really being herself around me, and also not able to deal with someone with different viewpoints on a few hot button issues.

13 years later, and fairly happily married, to someone who both tolerates my collecting and shooting hobbies, and also "gets" the fundamental issues around firearms ownership.

 

[GEM]

"When is it a good time to tell potential romantic partners about your guns?"

When her husband unexpectedly walks through the door, returning early from a business trip.

Sorry, moderators - I should know better but don't ask. Glenn

 

[captmoto]

Wifes family was into hunting and shooting before I came along. I never was into it due to lack of exposure to them. Now I'm about of of room in my 27 gun safe.

 

[moewadle]

I only read what the OP wrote at first

and maybe I should not skip to here...but I have. My thought is, regarding dating someone....do two people not get into conversations right away to answer, "So what do you do for fun, recreation, pastimes, hobbies, etc." That would be a first date conversation and you get right to firearms immediately. If it is a deal breaker than you have not went past a first date together and you can call it quits or just, "Let us be friends but not lovers." No complications to me. If it is someone that is a potential same-gender friend or something other than romantic it can come up in natural course of conversation and things can go where they will. Always good to be polite, perhaps circumspect and not get into some big political conversation if that is what it would come to.